Dad

[lighthouse33]

Still no credit cards but some wonderful news. 

Mom and I, if we are accepted, are moving to a retirement community.  We looked at a two bedroom with a den apartment and mom fell in love.  We looked at some homes too and they were too big plus they were far away from the clubhouse.

From our building, you head out our door and straight across to the clubhouse.  Inside the door, is the beauty salon, a convenience store, a swimming pool and spa and the fitness room.  Down the hall, is the library room.  From the left of the door, is the casual dining and formal dining rooms.  Further on down are the card and canasta rooms and the chapel and I would assume the wood working shop is there as well.

They have tennis courts, a lawn bowling lawn, a garden and a green house, and walking trails.

Our apt. sits right across from the croquet lawn with the putting green down on the left, and a gazebo sits on the right.  From our patio we can watch them play croquet. 

Everything is provided, transportation to wherever you have to go, housecleaning, maintenance etc.  All utilities are included.

We get to pick out what we want to have in the apt., color of cabinets, flooring, wall paper.  They will install all new appliances for us. 

This is the happiest I have seen mom in years.  To get away from the stress and anxiety of a home, will do wonders for us both.

I know that she is partly doing this for me, so that I will have a place of my own when she passes, where I will be taken care of.  This has brought us back to being friends, like we always were, before she became ill. 

They provide independent living, assisted living, home care or skilled nursing care. 

There is a book club, lecture series, bridge clubs, they take outside trips etc. 

Once we are accepted and pay the 10% we can start working with the interior decorator.  It will be 90 to 120 days before the renovations are done.  Cannot wait to move in.

[Katybarstool]

Wow Lighthouse, that sounds amazing.

You deserve a break after the last few years. I'm delighted for you.

My hubby and I moved into a 'village' for people aged over 55 last year. It doesn't have any of the facilities you mention, but it does feel safe, and somewhere just one of us can live, when the inevitable happens. We love it.

Enjoy your planning and organising.

Wishing you all the very best.

Kathyx

[Carebear]

How perfect this is for you and your mom, lighthouse!   I have never heard of a home more fantastic!  I wish we had such a place here.

And to hear that you and your mom have turned a corner, it just brings a smile to my face.

We decided back in October that we can no longer stay in our house either because I can't keep it up much longer. Just need to find a place that suits us.  Congratulations to the two of you.

[Carolina]

How wonderful Lighthouse.

If I were on my own, I'd be in a retirement community in a heartbeat.

But my husband loves caring for our house and yard, and would be lost without that activity.

And it is so wonderful that your mother is calmer and happier.  Enjoy!

Hugs, Elaine

[susanep]

Well now I wish I was in a retirement home, but we have 4 dogs so that rules that out.

My dad that is in a nursing home now said he wanted his house sold and the money divided between us kids after he dies, but I think the nursing home will take the house to help on the money of where he is besides the social security check they get. Is that how that works? We live in Tennessee.

susanep

[irish]

Lighthouse, I am so happy for you. You have had such a hectic few years and it is time to get to settle down and enjoy life. It sounds like you will have aq very nice place with a lot of things to keep you busy and out socializing.

Losing a spouse is hard when one is young and it is hard when one is ildl. Noe "easier" to this event. The one thing about being old and having bad health is the inability to do things. I envy you being able to make this move so fast. Your mom sure must have been primed to make things easier. I'm trying to make a move but have so many things to have done to tone house before I can do this.

Good luck with your move and may you get the darn credit cards!!!

Susan, Yes, when a person is in the nursing home the social security goes towards the bill with a little cash being kept in an account for the patient for haircuts, etc. Also, in MN a certain amount of money is allowed to be kept to pay for a funeral. The house then is used to pay the rest of the bill. If the patient outlives the value of the real estate then the county has to take over the monthly payment. At least, that is how it has been in the past. Irish

[lighthouse33]

There is one apt. building on the grounds that allows pets.  They are all one bedrooms.  I saw an elderly gentleman out walking his westie!  I will probably move to one of those after mom passes so that I can get a kitty cat for company.

We are only able to make the move this fast, because we have our accountant here to help us.  Mom has been fretting about getting rid of all of the stuff and moving, and she told her that her and I would do everything.  I do not know what we would do without her.  I have spent the last couple of days going through cupboards in the office.  Filled up eight garbage bags of junk and three garbage bags of shredded material I got from using the shredder for two hours.  Still not done yet. 

In our community, you pay a certain closing fee for your residence.  Then, you pay a fee every month.  They will give us each $600 and some dollars for meals.  Accountant has told us that we have to be very frugal with our money.

This will be so good for mom as she is a social butterfly and loves being around people. 

For me, I will finally be able to live on my own, have my own place, will not be a burden on family members.  And, the best part, is that I will not have to be forced to live with my brother in Florida, which was mom?s original idea.  My brother has done zero work for five years and has said to be me and mom that he wanted our accountant to make sure that the retirement community cannot kick me out when mom passes, because he does not want to have to come up  there and deal with me; finding a new place and moving me.  Nice attitude, right?

[Carebear]

Sounds to me that your accountant is more family than your brother is. 

It's good to hear that things are moving in the right direction for the two of you.

[susanep]

I am glad to hear both of you will be at a good place you like.

susanep

[susanep]

One thing I would like to start working on probably in baby steps is to down size our yard. It mainly comes to not having a big yard to mow. We did have a riding lawn mower, but after many years it finally gave out. Don't have the budget to get a new one, and most second hand ones around here are usually more trouble.

A nephew and his wife have been for the past two months been mowing our yard to help us out. Between them mowing theirs, and ours it is a lot of grass to mow. I don't want them to keep having to do that.

We want to draw us out a plan, and then plant some different perennials, a couple more trees (two of our trees we had for years died after last winters ice storm) any natural for our area habitat, and some grown cover.

That way we could have a section of yard with grass that we could use a push mower on. I also would love a little private area in the midst of it all to get off to myself when I need to. We would have more privacy too.

This is just adding to the topic of our alternative at this time in our lives of something even close to a retirement home, and still have our fur babies.

susanep

[Katybarstool]

That sounds like a good plan Susan. When we moved house last year we considered not having a garden as neither of us can do much  physical work. So it was amazing to be able to buy a bungalow with a garden that is maintained as part of the service charge. That leaves me the time and energy to look after a few shrubs and pots.

Hugs
Kathy x

[lighthouse33]

We are going to close on our residence tomorrow.  It will be one of the happiest days of my life.

Our credit cards arrived several weeks ago. 

[Katybarstool]

That's fantastic news Lighthouse.  Looking forward to hearing all about it.

Kathyx

[Carebear]

I wish you an easy move to your new home, lighthouse. 

[susanep]

Yes hoping you have a good move to your house. 

susanep