Dad

[lighthouse33]

I just wanted to post that my dad passed away from lung cancer Wednesday morning.  Hospice did a wonderful job.  He had a lot of pain  last weekend, but hospice came on Monday and started palliative sedation, morphine and ativan every two hours.

He died quiet, peaceful and calm. 

Now, starts the ever ending stream of paperwork.  The accountant was here for 3 hours yesterday.  Still waiting on the death certificates.

[Joe S.]

The paperwork can be overwhelming if it is your last parent. I hope you could spend time with him before he passed. iwas able to spend close to 2 months with mom before she passed. I had alot of paperwork also. It took a week or two to get her death cert. (((Hugs))).

[Carolina]

I'm so sorry, Lighthouse.  I know you have been a wonderful daughter, and that you will miss him.

And I'm so glad we have Hospice and the wonderful people who want to give of themselves to do that work with families.

And I'm also sorry you have to deal with all the paperwork.  It is part of life, for sure. 

Hugs,  Elaine

[Carebear]

Dear lighthouse,

I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your dear dad.  Thank you for sharing this with us, your friends.

How are you and your mom doing?  Try to take good care of yourself, okay?

[irish]

Lighthouse, I am so sorry to hear about your dad. You sound like you had a good relationship with your dad and I am sure you will miss him. It is hard to lose people we love, but we would not want them to linger and suffer either.

Be sure to take care of yourself these next weeks as it really can wear a person down and out with all the things that need to be done. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. Irish

[Head2Toe]

Deepest sympathies...

[susanep]

Lighthouse, I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your precious father. Though we all know it's part of life, it is still one of the most difficult parts of life. You are in my prayers for the coming days of getting through all the paper work, and all the emotions you are going through. May God comfort you in a way that only he can do.

Hugs and Love sent
susanep

[Scottietottie]

Condolences to you Lighthouse. It is good the hospice helped to make the end peaceful. Thoughts with you and your family.

[CMNK12]

My deepest sympathy to you and your family. Ck

[Katybarstool]

Lighthouse, sending you my very best wishes for the coming days and months. My condolences for the loss of your dear dad.

Kathyx

[quietdynamics]

lighthouse33.. Please take consolation and joy that your Dad passed with love.
I did Hospice as well. Not everyone is able. It was a gift to both of us.

The paperwork can be overwhelming.
Shred the junk.  And let the accountant, etc. consolidate.

[lighthouse33]

Thank you all for your condolences.

Mom and I are doing well to speak.  I think I?m in a major flare.  I made through the funeral and the family being here and now that things are calming down a bit the Sjogren's rears its ugly head.

Mostly, I've been busy writing thank you notes to those who sent cards, flowers, brought meals to the house and made donations to the specified charities.

Joe and quietdynamics, the paperwork continues to mount.  The accountant did tell us that it would be more of nightmare after the second spouse passes and then everything has to be transferred to a new name.

Some funny tidbits:

1.   Our local town water department wants a death certificate and a form filled out before they can transfer the account to my mom.  Really a death certificate?  Never heard of that one.  Even the lawyer was shaking his head at that one.
2.   Duke Energy wanted a $1,000 fee to transfer the account to mom?s name.  Our account kept saying, really after they've lived here all this time.  They would not back down, so she said, leave it in the dead man's name, thank you and hung up.  We all burst out laughing!  One of our friends said that was absurd.
3.   Verizon was a nightmare because dad and I both had cell phones in his name.  We canceled his phone number, and we couldn't transfer the account to mom because she wasn't on the account, so they had to set up a new account in my name requiring my SSN and 45 minutes on the phone to get it set up.
4.   The Obituary I wrote to be placed in two newspapers had a whopping cost of $178 for one paper and $325 for the other one, adding another $500 to the funeral expenses.  My brother said this is because they charge by the word.

[Carebear]

Your mom remains one gutsy gal!

From what you have shared about your dad over the years, I bet he would be shaking his head over the absurd responses from the utility companies too.  Where is their common sense for goodness sake?

I hope you are managing that flare.  Pace yourself.  Get rest when you need it.

[susanep]

I am sorry to hear about all of these ridiculous things you are having to do through.

Hugs,
susanep

[irish]

lighthouse, It is something else to see what is expected of the living in order to get things "legal". When my hubby passed away(one year ago today) I thought everyone would ask for a birth certificate and even one insurance company didn't ask for one. I couldn't believe it. I am just now getting my hubby's name off some of the things. The cable company is asking for paperwork. They know us well!!! Just unbelievable. You would think they would be glad that the bill is paid.

Sounds like your mom is keeping tough. Here she was so sick awhile back and it was your dad that went first. We never know what life will bring do we. If my hubby saw how much the funeral and tombstone cost you would have refused to die!!! Funerals have gotten just terrible. Hope you can get through this stress without getting too down and out. Grief and funerals, etc are really hard the those of us left behind. Be kind to yourself. Irish