Dad

[Carolina]

I plan to buy the grave plots and tombstones on our trip back to Iowa in May.

We want to be buried in the old family cemetery where generations of family members have been buried.  Or rather have our ashes interred there.

I should also arrange for the cremation and service here where we live, too.  It is easier to do in small increments while we're still alive, of course.  I want to list the newspapers, the prices!, and write the basic obituaries.  AND put the photos in the files, too.

I do as much preplanning and arranging as I can.  It is a major blow when there is a death, and as much pre-arranging as can be done, I want to do.

I think I'll use this photo of my husband. 

But the face should be bigger of course.  Maybe his passport picture?  I'm trying to make this easier for the people who survive us.

It's the least I can do.

Hugs,  Elaine

[lane]

When my mother died in the late 1990's  her energy bill came in the name of her uncle who died

in1951.  I kept it up until I was ready sell the house. No one ever questioned it!

[Katybarstool]

Caroline

When DH retired recently, we decided to take out a funeral plan, make all the arrangements, and pay in advance. We contacted the funeral directors and asked them to come to talk to us, only to be told it was their busy time just now, and could we call back in a few weeks!

We haven't called back yet - we just don't know when their busy season will end!

Kathyx

[Carolina]

Too funny!  The 'busy season!'.

Let's plan to be on vacation during 'the busy season'!


Hugs  Elaine

[susanep]

I agree Elaine. Let's be on vacation. 

susanep

[lighthouse33]

5 Common Funeral Traps and How to Avoid Them

How to avoid the pitfalls of unnecessary burial expenses

caring.com/articles/avoid-high-funeral-costs

[lighthouse33]

I was at the dentists' office yesterday and went to pay my bill with our credit card.  Transaction failed; denied by issuer.  Office manager was not happy, grumbled something about having to send us a bill.

Our accountant came here today to call about it.  After many phone calls, it was discovered that social security had notified the bank and the bank froze the credit card and the checking account.  You?d think they could have given us a heads up before they cut us off.

Poor mom had to go down to the bank, portable oxygen and all and set up a new checking account.  The old one was a joint account, both mom and dad's name, but it had been tied to a brokerage account, that no longer existed, but dad never changed it off of the brokerage account, so a new one had to be created; otherwise it would have been an easy switchover.  They were there for 2 hours and it is still not completely right, but our accountant thought mom was about to pass out so she brought her home.  We will all go back another day and get it done completely right.

The new checks will be here on Friday.  In the meantime we have 2 checks that she can use to pay our bills, which is a joke because there is a pile there waiting for their payments.

The new credit cards will take from 7 to 10 days to come.  We have a debit card to be used for emergencies only.  We will have to pay our grocery bill by check this week. 

Accountant took debit card to the pharmacy to pick up our prescriptions.

What a disaster. 

[Katybarstool]

Lighthouse, it just seems to be never-ending for you, doesn't it? If only our loved ones could simplify their personal accounts, it would make our life easier, wouldn't it.

Hope you get it sorted soon.

Kathyx

[irish]

This stopping the checking acct blows my mind. I am hoping that this was in your dad's name only.I can't imagine that they have the ability to freeze a joint account when one person dies. Seems like there is too much authority given to people these days.

The funeral home tells the government and from there some others are informed before we have a chance to call and tell them. Irish

[lighthouse33]

This stopping the checking acct blows my mind. I am hoping that this was in your dad's name only.I can't imagine that they have the ability to freeze a joint account when one person dies. Seems like there is too much authority given to people these days.

The funeral home tells the government and from there some others are informed before we have a chance to call and tell them. Irish

It was a joint account in both mom and dad's name.  Everything would have gone smooth as silk with the change over, except that, the account was tied to a brokerage account that no longer existed.  Dad never changed it off of the brokerage account and that is why it had to be closed.  Being a CEO it's hard for me to believe he would have made a mistake like that but he did. 

As far as the credit cards, both were created in my dad's account so they canceled them both.  These are the only credit cards we had.  Accountant asked them if they could reinstate them until we got the new ones and they said no.  I shredded them this afternoon.  Mom will get a new credit card in her name and I will get a card in my name. 

The new checking account will be a joint one with mom and I on the account.

[irish]

You have everything lined up so that it works. I would think that your dad just forgot about this little angle. It is so hard to keep up with things. One thinks that everything is set up right and some little glitch is all it takes to screw things up. All in all organizing and finishing up an estate can add 10 years to a persons life. So much running is what really wears a person out. Hope you can rest and keep from getting too run down.Irish

[Carebear]

Dear lighthouse,

It's shameful that you and your mom have to deal with all of this, on top of everything else.  I hope that's the end of bad news for the two of you. 

[lighthouse33]

The banking nightmare continues. 

Accountant called to check on our credit cards.  Guess what, our bank declined to give mom a credit card because she's never worked.  She said to them, even though she has money in her checking account every month, you won't give her a credit card.  Later, we received a letter stating the same thing but it also said she had a great credit score, isn't that ironic. 

Accountant has had it, she is going to get us set up with a new bank.  And, she is going to get two credit cards, one in mom's name and one in my name, so that I can start building up credit and the same thing won't happen to me when mom passes away. 

[Carebear]

Honest to Pete, lighthouse.  While I was reading your post I thought the same thing - change banks.  Back in the mid eighties I applied for a credit card.  I was a single parent with a full time job.  They told me I couldn't have a credit card because I didn't have a husband.

Even in my twenties I was feisty.  I demanded to speak with the manager and told him I was taking my banking elsewhere, as well as a few choice words.

I hope things start to work out for you and your mom very soon.

[susanep]

Lighthouse that is just too much. I sure am glad you are going to a different bank.

susanep