Connecticut

[olmphoto2]

[Sadie963]

Thank you...Our hearts have truly been broken today and are forever changed.

[Sleepy In Seattle]

I am truly grateful today that all I have to deal with is some cruddy diseases. My suffering is nothing to what that community is going through. My heart just breaks for everyone involved. Sending them all the love and prayers I have in me.

[Cindy]

I cant stop crying. All I can think of is 20 mothers are dying of pain. This is so unfair, as a teacher and mom I cant imagine the pain they are going through. Innocent angels have gone to heaven. I really like how reporters are giving the families their space and they are not trying to interview them.

[engy]

 

[susanep]

 

susanep

[Saundra]

I cried so much yesterday, I was thrashed.  No one should ever know their pain.

XOXO
Ldy

[genko_b]

It is beyond sad and beyond words. A parent's worst nightmare - I wish there were a way to ease their pain.

I am inspired by the incredible courage and self-sacrifice of the teachers at the school, and am choosing to keep those images and stories in my head as an antidote to the awful sorrow that comes from hearing of tragedies like this.

Genko

[lighthouse33]

Mom saw a report from a reporter who saw one of the mother's of one of the student's killed come out of the school, go to her car, remove the car seat and throw it in the trunk.  Mom thought it was weird.  I suppose, you'd have to ask a psychologist or psychiatrist, why someone would chose this as their first thing to do, especially in front of everyone, after getting that awful news.  I'm not criticizing, just curious.

Yes, those teachers sure were heroes.  The principal and the psychologist who attacked the gunman, the first grade teacher who hid her students in closets and then faced the gunman, lying to him that they were in the gym, knowing that she would probably be killed and she was.  But, her students all survived. 

[ashewoman]

Perhaps it was too painful of a reminder.  When I lost my daughter even her photos hurt.  I kept a tshirt that didn't make it into the wash and literally spent months inhaling the babyish sweat off of it.  One of the most critical downward spirals in my grief was about three months later when her shirt stopped smelling like her.  I guess I sniffed it all up.  I dunno... but I was devastated when I lost the scent.  Last halloween I bought a wig and it was tangled so I purchased some detangler without even thinking about how it was going to affect me.  Scent is a really strong reminder more than sight or sound.  I never wore the wig... tossed it out... but I kept the detangler.  Sometimes when I want to remember brushing her hair every night before bed I spray it around.  For a while there I made the poor cat let me spray and detangle him.  He didn't care much for smelling like a little girl, but it felt better to have something physical with the scent even if it wasn't a very happy long haired kitty.  In my opinon, these reminders are a form of self-torture and I have had to do more and more to find more positive ways to remember or even forget.  Which ever mood is the saner safer one for me at that time... but apparently the saner safer choice is usually not the one I want to go for and it almost never makes sense to people who haven't experienced the same grief.  Her photos are back out now.  But with Xmas fast approaching and company asking about them, I've been considering putting them away again. I have a closet with my treasure trove of memories so they are out of sight but not gone.  I don't know exactly why that was the first thing she did this grieving mother.  But my guess is it was the very first thing she saw empty and it stabbed her deeply so she took out her fury and helplessness on that inanimate object.  Just remember everyone grieves differently.  GG

[genko_b]

Wise words, Ashewoman.

Genko

[shevonne]

I live in CT. It's so hard right now to see this happening so close to home. It's a heartbreaker for everyone. Schools all over CT has extra police. I work for the state police and they are devastated.  We have to keep the families and the children of this horrific traggedy uncouth prayers. It's so hard not to cry.

[olmphoto2]

(((shevonne)))

"Sometimes we forget what our first responders feel when a horrific tragedy strikes. It is impossible to think what they went through when they saw those little children who were killed in Newtown, CT

They had to be the ones to notify parents that their innocent babies had died. Our prayers continue to go out to each soul who's life is forever changed by this tragedy.

God Bless!" ~~~Star 106

[quietdynamics]

ZEN: There is a mode of experience which transcends the use of words entirely.

I read this in high school in a World Religion course..I felt this with the Twin Towers horror, I met my children at the school bus in tears.

News put some of the spotlight on mental illness, and where children are concerned so much is lacking, so much is unknown. There are extensive Laws to protect a child's rights to be in a mainstream educational environment. But, where are the laws when other students and staff are endangered? And yes, I have seen this in the classroom. Teachers out on medical leave as they have put themselves between a student/child having an outburst and the other children put in a "safe" corner. But, the news will show a classroom that has a padded corner, interview the student when they are not having an outburst...which I have witnessed, and is comparable, more like a seizure, a child bashing his head onto a concrete floor...some parents do not want their child to wear protective helmets, or take medication....that is their right....but what of the  other students...what of when the child's conditions progresses, they get older and even harder to control. I did, meet students who had been in special ed, when I did work in the juvenile facility, finally charged with assault.

Medical/Neuro disorder ...now warehoused in a prison.

When my own daughter was hit into the window on a school bus, I addressed the matter with the school, in person and followed up in writing ..a paper trail,with the written assurance that I would have criminal charges pressed.  I learned that just days before another child had been hit by this student on the bus, the driver stopped the bus, police had been called....my experience told me that this child's behavior was escalating...yet he was on the bus unsupervised. The school mistakenly thought they could prey on my sympathy /experience with special needs students....I was there to protect my child...they were put on notice...and it was clear that as such if my daughter was assaulted again ..the next school meeting would need their lawyer present.

On the other side many of the students and parents of those with Neuro/ mental disorders are stigmatized and alienated.  We hear "you don't look sick"..they hear "can't you control yourself, your child...you need to control your child and get tough"  They stop taking the child out in public, hide sharp objects, and yes some parents pad the walls of the child's bedroom ,and some parents plead for help as they become the focus of physical abuse,...and the child becomes an adult ....what to do? 

What to do? What to do?

So much mis-information propagated in the media....

We should understand the lack of medical care., treatment, information...if we view Sjogrens as a spectrum...some  with mild symptoms and able to function normally...others debilitated, and at times feeling so emotionally overwhelmed, states of despair as we search for  help...and have heard it is all in your head.  I wonder how many people have committed suicide  due to a chronic illness...with inadequate  care? Lack of a Dx?  Driven  to a final act..

All these senseless deaths, so many schools, so many times..massacres.
And those left traumatized..

Parents have been turning in guns ...449 turned in in 4 hours in one city..and more coming in.
Should gun permits include "do you have a resident/family member with a mental dx?"

[Meld256]

This is a tragic story, almost unimaginable to all of us. My thoughts go out to each family, each first responder, each grief counselor, and each one affected by this.

So true that we each grieve in our own way, and some may not understand things we do, but we each do what we need at the time or what gives us comfort.
ashewoman, I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter.  As one who's lost a granddaughter, which is not the same as my own child, I have some sense of your loss and I wish you peace during this holiday season.

Take care,
Melinda