what do you do when your scared?

[TerriJ]

I understand how it is to feel scared and the unknown can seem terrifying.  I do several things that others do to help such as meditation, breathing exercises, diversions like reading, the computer, a movie, just about anything to take your mind off things and just positive things like getting outdoors a little on a nice day, surrounding yourself with things that are beautiful to look at like bright flowers or relaxing photos of nature.  Also, just trying to be proactive in your health care, but knowing you have to let it go too or it will really make you crazy.

Sometime I still feel obsessed by what's going on with my health because I am not the same as I used to be.  This is a good place to come if you need to vent or just get a connection to others who can relate to you.

Take care.

Terri

[Epson]

What do I do when I get scared?  Soil my paints, cry Mommy and run to the refrigerator for a Dilly bar, which is the equivalent of a pacifier for an adult, and the way things have been going with cancer and finding that I have poor kidney function and now a hole in my heart, I have started wearing diapers and have put on 25 pounds.

[fatburningmachine]

My friend was diagnosed with Lupus  years ago and has been so very ill and years later they found she had a hole in her heart. She had the surgery and her lupus has DRAMATICALLy improved

[Epson]

Fatburningmachine,

How old was your friend when they found the hole?

[Bernice]

WOW! My heart goes out to you, I do understand fear, but I find fear is more an enemy than most situations we face. How do you face fear? The best way you can, just face with it, which you have by recognizing it for what it is, otherwise it will have you thinking all kinds of crazy things just to keep you in it's grip. Then find something else to calm you, whatever you find calming.Take a look back over your life, even a life with many hurts, whether physical or mental problems and you will find you've had more good days than bad WE just take the good ones for granted, but you've been THROUGH some things and are STILL ABLE TO GO THROUGH THIS!

COUNT ALL BLESSINGS AND FACE ALL FEARS HEAD ON, JUST KEEP GOING!

I'VE SPENT MOST OF MY LIFE WITH LOW BLOOD COUNT, IN FACT MINE'S WAS SO LOW ONE TIME WHEN I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL (SENT THRERE IN AMBULANCE FROM DOCTOR'S OFFICE BECAUSE OF EKG READING) ONCE THERE  MY BLOODCOUNT DROPPED SO LOW BECAUSE OF THE MED. THEY GAVE ME! WHEN I WENT DOWN STAIRS IN THE HOSPITAL FOR A STRESS TEST (YES A STRESS TEST) I COULD HARDLY SIT UPRIGHT IN THE WHEEL CHAIR , WHEN I GOT DOWN THERE THEY TOOK MY PRESSURE THREE TIMES BECAUSE THEY WERE SHOCKED HOW LOW IT WAS. I WAS SO WEAK I COULD HARLDY RAISE MY HEAD, I TRIED TELLIN THEM I WAS TOO WEAK, THOSE FOOLS PUT ME ON THAT TREADMILL ANYWAY AND WHEN I COULDN'T STAND UP LET ALONE RUN, ONE OF THE ASSISTANTS ACTUALLY GOT HIS BEHIND ON THE TREADMILL AND HELD ME UP (I WEIGHED 106) WHILE HIS FEET WALKED IT! TRUE STORY!!!!!!

WELL MY DOCTOR HAS ORDERED ONE IN A FEW DAYS, TELL YOU WHAT I BET YA THAT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN NOT ONLY BECAUSE I AM ALERT ENOUGH, BUT BECAUSE I HAVE GAINED ABOUT 25 LBS SINCE. LET EM TRY THAT CRAP NOW IF THEY DARE I'LL MAKE SURE HE GETS A DARN GOOD WORKOUT, PURE DEAD WEIGHT FOR SURE! HA!

Sorry to scream, but just remembering that made me feel a need to scream!

CHEER UP!

Bernice

[Patze]

Hi Sikalot,

I know that you're frightened, but you can do it!  Sometimes it's only one step in front of the other, other times you'll be close to normal.  It's very hard to try to live life like that, but hang in there, okay?

I like Sleepy's phrase "we are in this together, together we are strong", it speaks of the way I feel about the wonderful members on this board.


Patze

[Patze]

Hi Missyb, how is your next door neighbor (Katie) doing?  Is she out of IC yet?  That is so scary!!!  How are her kids doing?


Patze

[Pisces24]

I wanted to let you know that about 98/55 is normal bp for me. I have always had low bp.
Once dr wanted me to put on some weight, I did and my bp went up slightly - dr said it was because of the weight. BUT later on I went back to my normal bp again and dr said my body adjusted to it. Geesh.
The only time I had "normal" bp was right before I had a lymph node biopsy - my 1st ever surgery. Nurse said it was fine but I knew I had to be upset!

I can really understand and symphathize with your fear. I had 2 years of going to diff drs with most telling me they were sure it was some kind of cancer but durn I wasn't sick enough and not showing the bad symptoms I should be. "Well excuuuuuse me!"  I'd see on dr, then not have to see him anymore, think I was 'cured" and find out nope and get sent to yet another one. I got myself sooo upset once I stayed home 2 days from work.

I would seriously check with the dr about mabye getting an anxiety med. I am on generic Xanax which really helps me and is only $4/month. Also most insurances will cover you seeing a counselor for at least 2 or 3 times a year. Check into that as talking to someone really helps. I tiwll help you look at things in a diffrent way. Good Luck!

[sikalot]

wow thanks so much for these replies you guys dont know how much these mean to me. i come here when i feel down to get support.

my mom says she doesnt want to hear it when i tell her i am not feeling well. she says its funny how i alway never feel well when she is busy. i am an only child so she is the only one who can watch my kids she never offers to give me a break from my 1 yr old the one i need it from the most. some times if i tell her what the dr. said she just stays quiet and thats my que to shut up

my husband does help around the house and with the baby but i know he is resentful and doesnt want to hear how i am feeling i think he talks about how lazy i am to his friends at work
some comments were made about turning my faith to god and do you want hear something crazy? i actually forget to do that i know that sound horrible but i do. because of my 1 yr old i cant go to church she screams at the sight of any stranger and wont sit for the big church as we call it. but that doesnt mean i cant pray and gain stregnth from the bible i really need to do this when i need some pulling through
some comments were about taking some anti d med or anxiety meds and i cant take them because i get a very very odd reaction to them making my anxiety 100 times worse. sometimes i wonder if this is what did me in back in march when i went to the doctor when i first started not feeling well he jumped the gun and gave me an anti d med and not feeling well went to violently vomiting drop in bp and my eyes started to dry out for 3 weeks and being be ridden then i started feeling a bit better thought i should try it one more time and then boom again i was ill which didnt let up until about late may then my nuero gave me cymbalta said it was good for all over pain and the upset i was feeling from being ill (he knows i am not dealing w/ depression ) so i take it and get really sick again and my vision hasnt came back to normal

thanks for the advice everything is helpful

[Bernice]

I was first diagnosed in my twenties, my three children were young. I don't know it was the same for others with it back then, but the doc. wanted to put me on med. that would knock me out so that he said it would be hard for others to even wake me. I could not take them, I had small children and besides I was not hurting near as bad as now so I went without treatment, besides my family made me feel so bad about hurting and possibly being sick I ignored this sickness altogether. I had no time for it in my life I needed to live a normal life with plans of doing all the things I had planned. When syndromes came up I went for treatments just for them and suffered the abuse of family when I could not do the things they felt I should be doing. Never mentioned Sjogerns to another doc. anybody or myself It was not until recently when my body got to the point that I could not ignore it any longer, now I am left wondering just how much damage has taken place over the years from ignoring treatment.

I say all of this to you because I do understand just how hard it is when family and friends don't understand and my heart really does go out to those of you with young kids, I truly can't imagine feeling the way I do now while having to take care of ANYBODY ELSE! Not on an ongoing basic, especially a child. I get where I don't want to be touched and I know kids need hugs, feeding, etc. even when you don't feel like it.

Please take care of yourself as much as possible and don't let family or friends push you beyond what you can bear. Is it possible for you to put your child in a day care for a few hours a day?