Do you ever wonder if you're just whining or your complaints are legit?

[downrabbithole]

Since I was diagnosed with Sjogren's, I have become hyper aware of my body. My mother would always say I was hyper aware of my body and if I didn't pay so much attention to some of the pain, it would go away....my mother also makes a lot of assumptions about other people saying my grandma is highly sensitive to pain, which I feel isn't her place to judge. My mother is disabled, so perhaps this is her "buck up and get over" attitude she has used to cope that she passes on to me....but I digress.

One thing I hated about another chronic illness community I visited was the fact that people complained and were negative all of the time. I try to keep a good attitude and still follow my heart and dreams, but sometimes I just hurt. And it makes me wonder if I'm being a "baby" about it and am hyper aware of myself and what can happen with Sjogren's or if things are actually happening...

I don't know, I hope this makes some bit of sense....

[Scottietottie]

Hi 

I hear you. NO you are NOT being a baby about any of it. It's just the the wider world doesn't see it so they can't feel it. I've hit a sort of balance with it now I think. I tend to keep the 'hyper aware' bit in here. (I'm not saying anyone should - this is just my coping mechanism)

If I complain about pain outside of here I get the "Oh - it's that time of life" bit. When I was younger I just got dismissed. Hubby doesn't really 'get it' either. He's supportive in as much as he cooks a lot, which I appreciate but it doesn't matter how often I ask him not to drape one arm over me in bed - he still does. It hurts. He gets all hurt because he thinks I'm just being frigid. No amount of explanation seems to get through. He got mad when our youngest was little too cos I tended not to let her sit on my knee. It hurt. Bottom line. (I didn't know I had SjS then)

Once I eventually got my head round the fact that I'm stuck with it I do manage not to think about it every minute of the day. The eyedrops and the sips of water are somewhat constant reminders though!

Take care - Scottie 

[Patze]

Hey - you are not being a baby about it, and Scottie is so right about the "wider world doesn't see it so they can't feel it".  About three appointments back with the rheumy, and as he tried to see if I had Reynard's in my hands by pressing on something or another and it hurt!  I said ouch loudly and he told me that it couldn't hurt.   Oh no?  What the heck was he thinking when I've told him several times that my skin (from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet) is hypersensitive, and a touch with the right pressure is painful?  Dang. 

I really think that it depends on which community you are visiting.  I know a few people who have chronic issues and they are the most happy go lucky people you will ever meet, and then there are others you just want to commit mayham on).  Yes, I've run into a person here and there who are the biggest pains in the behind with the complaining (I have a family member is like that, well, make that a couple of them); which person doesn't have problems (just average people in the same range)?  I keep telling them that they are too much drama, drama, drama for me!

Shucks, I may wrong here, but I figure keep being hyper aware, because one day a new symptom that a lot of folks would normally ignore, might just be the one thing you should never ignore.  A person just never knows, and besides, it's your body, right?

Hang in there and don't let your Mom stress you too much -

Patze

[salsen]

I am the type of person who tries to look at the up side of life and not to dwell on all that I can't do or all that is aching on any  given day.  Every now and then it does spill out and I can hear my own self complaining.  I get tired of hearing it out loud after a few minutes and shut up. 

Life is too short for why me and complaining.  We all need the relief valve of venting but luckily for me something always crosses my path that makes me appreciate how much worse it could be.  There is a world of difference between letting go of the frustration and living in a constant pity party.  Get aggravated - get mad - then let it go.  You seem ok to me!

[Joe S.]

I facilitated a chronic pain support group for six years. One thing that I understood is that everyones pain is unique to them. If they say that they are in pain, they are. Your pain is real. It is not your imagination. Do what you can to overcome or manage your pain. Open up your mind to all the alternatives that are available to you.

I use Breathing exercises, Meditation, Reflexology, Acupressure, Vitamins, Minerals, Herbs, Juicing, Suplements, Reiki, and what ever else I have in my bag of tricks. Pain medication can take the edge off and make the other options more effective.

The most important thing to remember when you have pain is to breathe. When we have pain, we tend to hold our breath and in doing so increase our pain. That is why Lamaze classes help so much to reduce the pain of labor. The change of focus from the pain to your breath also helps.

Fearful thoughts will also increase our pain. Instead of thinking, "Oh no, I am going into another flair", I think,"If this is a flair, I have dealt with them before and recovered quickly".

Some of these techniques take practice when you are not in pain so that they come easier when you are.

[Skylar]

I am the type of person who tries to look at the up side of life and not to dwell on all that I can't do or all that is aching on any  given day.  Every now and then it does spill out and I can hear my own self complaining.  I get tired of hearing it out loud after a few minutes and shut up. 

Life is too short for why me and complaining.  We all need the relief valve of venting but luckily for me something always crosses my path that makes me appreciate how much worse it could be.  There is a world of difference between letting go of the frustration and living in a constant pity party.  Get aggravated - get mad - then let it go.  You seem ok to me!

I share Salsen's approach to life. And like Joe S. I research to find solutions to help me deal with physical problems whether it's relaxation therapy, OTC products or prescribed medication. I'm a problem solver; I can't cure Sjogrens but I can do whatever it takes to make my body feel the best that I can. I try to focus on enjoying life.
Skylar

[Linda196]

All of the comments here are right on the money. Most people with chronic illness do become more aware of their bodies, because they have to! Knowing your own physiology is one of the most important aspects or realizing what's going wrong, and getting ahead of it before it becomes a huge problem.

Being positive and proactive are extremely important in dealing with pain. We also have to remember that the perception of pain varies from one person to another, but the pain remains very real to each of them. Pain thresholds tend to get worn down with chronic pain, too. We may find ourselves less tolerant of a particular pain than we used to be, or it can work the other way...after having a specific pain for some time, our bodies might "relearn" normals, so we aren't as aware of it.

Ignoring your body's warnings is as bad as being "hypersensitive"...your body and mind experience pain and other symptoms for a reason! As long as you use these warnings to do something about the problem, and not just complain about it, you're not being a baby!

[Katybarstool]

I felt for many years that I was neurotic. It seemed there was always something wrong with me.  It wasn't always the same bit that hurt, but on most days, something did. Over the past 5 years or so I have had so many more health problems, but also diagnosis.  Now I have decided, if I think there is something wrong with me, there usually is. So I try not to ignore things any more. It's quite a good feeling, although my doctors probably still think I am a nuisance.

Kathyx

[YICKelly]

I, too, sometimes feel as though I complain too much.  Others just do not understand the pain we live with.  You sound very much like you have your piorities straight.  Our bodies are best understood by us!!  Keep your positive attitude and you will go far!