Off Topic, life just isn't fair

[LenV]

This has been a very very hard week for me already.  Last week I slept in my husband's worn out recliner (they all are aren't they?).  He had eye surgery and I had to get up during the night, every night for a week to put antibiotic drops in his eyes and re-bandage him.  So I couldn't let myself get sound asleep.  I now walk like a bent over recliner.  Good news is he's recovering well.  Things started looking up and then this morning my housekeeper calls and cancels her appt for this week.  Her grandfather has had a stroke and isn't doing well.

This is certainly excusable and we re-schedule for next week.  Then I pick up the paper and there is a name in the obits of a young man with the same name as a dear friend of the family's son.  He grew up with my son and was in my son's wedding.  They have remained close for all these years.  Surely I think, this isn't the same person.  I call the funeral home and ask the name of the young man's mother.  ...it is the same as our young man's mother.  So then I start trying to call my son.  I call him 4 times and start panicking.  Surely they aren't together.  Then he calls me back.  He already knows of his friend's death.  Small towns network fast.

It seems his life was overwhelming for him and he has killed himself.  My grief for his mother and my son is huge.  She raised the boys (2) of them as a single mother.  She has worked herself thru nursing school and runs our local emergency room nursing staff.  Life just isn't fair.  Please remember all of us in your prayers.  It has been a hard year already.

Billye

[YICKelly]

I am so sorry.  Prayers coming for that family.  As for life not being fair - you're right it isn't.  But, we were never told it was going to be.  I would like to tell you it will get better, but I don't know that.  I will also pray that it will get a bit better and easier for you.

[lynnmarie219]

Oh Billye...I'm so sorry for you and your son and especially for that young mans mother! You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

You just seem to have one thing after another to deal with this year.....its time you have some good things happen in your life....you are overdue!

Lots and lots of hugs to you......(((((((((((((Billye)))))))))))



 

[Scottietottie]

Hi Billye

Things just HAVE to get better for you soon. You are being sorely tried! I'm sorry to hear of your son's friend's death. Suicide is always sad as it always seems like such a total waste. They have no idea the grief they leave behind, yet when they go I'm sure their minds tell them that eeryone will be better off without them. So untrue.

Thoughts are with you. Try to take care of yourself.

Take care - Scottie

[JannaLee]

Dear Billye,

I am so so sorry for you and your son and the mother who raised that young man.

We are in agreement, life just isn't fair.
Janna

[ree031]

Oh No, that is just awful sad news 

Sending many sympathy hugs and wishes.

[wordnerd]

Billye I'm sooo sorry!  Sending lots of *hugs* your, your son's, and his friend's families way!  I hope everyone effected by his death get the help and support they need to get through this extra difficult grieving process.

-Lauren

[LenV]

My husband and I attended the funeral.  The funeral home's chapel was completely filled and there was standing room only.  This boy had so many friends and had touched so many lives and didn't even know it.  I just wanted to make a statement about suicide and pain. 

Suicide is permanent, pain sometimes isn't or can be helped whether it's mental or physical.  Suicide affects so many people.  It is grief for your families with questions that can't be answered.  It is grief for your friends because they feel guilty and feel that they failed you in some way.  And it's a loss to the world when it takes away a shining beautiful young man like this one.

I thank you all for your prayers and messages.
Billye

[susanep]

Billye I am so sorry to hear this. I said a prayer for all of you. Life isnt fair. Each day is precious. Things like this tend to make us stop, and think about how precious life is. Please take care.

susanep

[salsen]

Billye,  my prayers and sympathy go out to you and yours.  Most especially I will keep this young man's family in my prayers.  A close friend of mine lost her some in the same manner three years ago.  His family continues to struggle with the why  and could I have done something different.  They all know in their head that they did their best to help but their hearts still can't understand why he made this decision. 

There is little I can do to help but listen when my friend needs to talk.  So many tell her she needs to move on  -  How do you do that?  I understand your grief and confusion, and yes anger that they didn't fight more against their demons.  We can only pray that God will receive them with open arms and take away all their torment. 

  Keep him in your heart and in your conversation.  That is the one thing my friend comments about.  Since so many feel awkward about what to say, they do not bring his name up.  I think this makes it even harder for her. 


Take care. 

[Debora]

(((((HUGS)))))
oh Billye, you have had so much going on with everything. 

Suicide is such a sad horrible thing.  The County I live in has had so many suicides in the past few years, its seems to be an epidemic. 

You will be in my prayers

Debora

[Shari]

Hi Billye~~  I'm sorry that I am late on this thread.  I hope that the support and Love of family and friends help you all through this difficult time.

I'm so sorry   ~~Shari~~

[LenV]

Thanks all of you.  I developed a severe upper respritory infection right after the funeral.  I guess my poor body had experienced all it could stand.  I was terribly run down from lack of sleep during my husband's surgery.  And then my littlest chihuahua developed separation anxiety when I tried to crawl in the bed and stay there.  So this has been a bad time for us.  Seems that nothing has gone right.  Then finally a break in the mess.  My husband got a good report on his eye surgery and we were able to stop the nightime meds and can drive again which takes a huge load off me.

I received the sweetest note from Brian's Mom about my impromptu grocery shopping and delivery.  She said she was overwhelmed and so grateful by what I had done and the card I included with the groceries.  That makes it all worthwhile.  We'll never forget Brian, he was so much a part of our lives. 

Thank you all for your understanding.
Billye

[genko_b]

Billye, It's really good to hear there is some respite from the series of difficulties you have been facing. And good just to hear from you.

Genko

[Scottietottie]

Hi Billye 

I hope the little bit of respite is a turn in the way things have been going. You deserve a change of fortune.

Take care - Scottie