Please pray for me!!!

[stegello08]

Well I am so stressed right now I could cry. I can't handle everything that is going on in my life. I doing very poorly in college, and I think I am going to have to drop my full time status to part time which would cause me to graduate later. I have been so sick because they took some blood work and found bacteria in my stomach. The doctors have me on 3 antibiotics and they are doing the worst things to my stomach. I hate to gross you out, but when I got home from work, I was in the bathroom a hour on the john. I have a draft of my final paper due tonight which is suppose to be 1500 words at least, and I have not even started it. It's 11:22 pm EST. All I can say is if I don't get a break soon, I'm going to have a nervous breakdown. 

Please pray!!!

[songbird]

I am so sorry for your stomache and your stress and I am praying right now! I  have done more than my fair share of papers in all nighter form. No fun! but this too shall pass (kinda like a kidney stone). Slow down take a breather. One sentence at a time.  It will come!

[irish]

I can understand your frustration with all that is going on in your life. One thing I will stress is that you will be a lot healthier if you let go of the notion that graduating a few months later will affect your life. It seems like such a big issue now, but take it from an old lady that it might even be a good thing for you.

You are exhausted and dealing with all these medical tests that are very foreign to you so no wonder you feel so freaked out. Get the paper down and handed in and walk over to the couselors office. Find someone to talk to about what you are going through. You need help understanding all these tests because for a person your age it is the ultimate assault on your body. I will pray for your endurance and physical strength in order to take the medical tests and the stress of school.

Your body is probably in much worse shape because of the stress of going to college. Just cool it and give yourself a chance to heal. When you get your stomach healed up you will feel better.

When I was in my last year of nurses training I went rollar skating with my friends and proceeded to fall on the back of my head resulting in a skull fracture. I was in the hospital 5 days. When I got out I was a total mess. Weak, couldn't think straight etc. I went back to the doc for check up and he acted like I was nutz. I ended up going to the superintendent of our nursing program and talking with her. I had to drop out for the rest of the quarter which was 6 weeks left.

When I came back my friends were ahead of me classwise and I had time to make up after I graduated in August. It was a heck of a summer. I thought I would die I was so tired and my grades dropped. Now that I know what is wrong with me and after talking with my doc we have decided that I probably had a flair of sjogrens and myasthenia at this time due to the stress of the skull fracture. To make things even more complicated I got married on August 1st and graduated on August 8th and had to stay at school to finish up what I missed. I didn't have the best judgement at this time!!!!! Stuff happens but you will make it through. When one door closes another door opens---but, we have to be resiliant enough to let it happen. Irish

[Pooh]

Hang in there Stephanie, you can do it.  Take a deep breath and write it one line at time.  You will be fine and we'll be so proud of you.  If you don't do it this time, then we will be just as proud of you when you do.  Remember "All great things, come to those that wait". 

You have you're whole life ahead of you, take your time and enjoy what you do.  Don't sweat the small stuff.

Hugs and prayers,
Pooh

[anagram]

HI,

Hang in there. I'm new to the forum- but definitely not on trying to survive multiple health problems while in school. I sure can sympathize with what you are going through. Have you been able to get any help from your teachers or the Disability services office at your university? Since I don't have an official diagnosis yet, disability services can't be of much help to me- but I've had several teachers this year who have been willing to grant me incompletes or extensions on deadlines when I needed them due to health problems- particularly because they know that as long as I am well I am very dedicated and hard working. Sometimes when you're really having a bad run of medical problems, just a few extra days added to a deadline can really make a big difference.

Another thing that helps me when I start to get overwhelmed is making a list of everything I'm worried about finishing for each one of my classes. Sometimes it all seems impossible and overwhelming when it's all in my head, but when I get it down on paper it looks a lot more managable. Then at least you can start tackling one assignment at a time.

It's strange for me to be telling you this- because the idea of graduating later than planned also makes me panic too- but try to really consider accepting that possibility if you need to. I've been in a very tough Master's degree program for the past 2 years, and while I love school- my waves of health problems sometimes made getting through semesters in one piece almost unbearable. Too many times I put myself through so much pain and misery because I was so freaked out about staying on schedule to graduate. But too be completely honest as I look back on the last two years (now that I'm almost finished with my degree), I'm really not sure if it was worth it making it so hard on myself sometimes. I feel like I was in a huge rush to get to this point, and now I'm kind of realizing that that was two whole years of my life that I can't get back. At some point I need to learn to let go a little bit and realize that I can't keep putting off giving myself a break and a chance to be happy. There will always be some excuse for me to feel like I can't just give in to my health problems when necessary, and give myself a chance to heal. I've spent the last two years (more if you count my undergrad degree) wondering when life would get easier with all of my health problems, and then I realized that really I'm the one who is putting so much pressure on myself and making it difficult.

Here's something else to consider....when you graduate, then what? Fortunately for me, I'm a true nerd who loves school and have dedicated myself to staying in a university for the rest of my life (hopefully as a teacher rather than a student one day). Most of the students I'm graduating with will be starting full time jobs, but I'll be starting a PhD program next year. Having been in both the academic, and the working worlds, I've personally found that when dealing with chronic health problems that being a student is a more managable lifestyle than being a full time employee. Schedules and deadlines seem to be more flexible as a student, and you don't have the pressure of having to be healthy enough to manage an 8-5 job every day. Granted, the student life still presents it's own array of challenges (financial in particular), but overall I'd encourage you to try to consider the possibility of not graduating on time if it looks like that's what you need to do. As long as you have some basic support systems in place for you as student, in my experience anyway it's a much more managable lifestyle for people like us.

That being said I will definitely keep sending positive thoughts you way so you can get through everything you have going on right now. I know that when you're in the midst of feeling totally sick and overwhelmed that sometimes there's not much other poeple can say to make you feel better. Hang in there though, you will get through all this one way or another- paper done or not.

[Linda196]

You have my prayers and positive thoughts!

First...go ahead and have that cry if you haven't already! It's a great stress reliever.

Next, as everyone has said, slow down, take a deep breath, and take things one thing at a time. Since you posted last night, I'm hoping you were able to complete your paper, and e-submit it. I agree that your next move should be to see what assistance, extensions or considerations are available to you.

Your current situation is slightly different than dealing with a chronic illness and trying to get through in spite of it. A demonstrated gastric infection that requires three antibiotics is an acute illness and there may be different rules.

[Sandra]

Sorry for your trouble. I am not sure of your age. With time comes experiance. It is my experiance that nobody is promised anything in life. Great health, complete happiness, and no sorrow. In fact diversity is what makes life, life.
If you are dealing with this type of illness, auto-immune, there is not a fat lot you can do about it. The one thing you must do is accept and make firends with it. Learn what you can do as aposed to what you can't. When you do learn my message the guilt the stress and the feeling of failure falls by the wayside. You then rejoice in what you can and did do. You are amazing to be going to college and to be out there with the rest of them (many by the way just like yourself), so what if you have to slow down, it takes a bit longer. Give your own precious body a break, thank it for what it has and is trying to do. Be greatful and then carry on. With health issues there is no other choice, well there is but I don't recomend it, you won't last long.
Be good to yourself. Best Wishes Sandra

[Debora]

Hi Stephanie

You sure have alot going on.  Just having kids is alot going on!!

A few weeks before I was diagnosed with SS I was busy-busy-busy but alot was not getting finished!  My Uncle came up to take care of my daughter and neice while I was dealing with my ex's back surgery and the long distance driving, only to get home for a night to rest and get other stuff done.  I was trying to sell our house but the neighbors were harrassing potential buyers, etc.  He told me I looked like I was running around trying to put out "spot fires" while there was an out of control blaze going on.  (He is a retired Fire Chief!).

He made me sit down and write down everything I needed to get done and what was going on with me.  I was in the middle of going back to college and planned on having a full schedule!  He told me to take only one class, two would be too many.  So I signed up with a class I really wanted to take but had to drop because my body protested with a horrible major flare! I then started to take care of the things I could finish and be done with before taking on something else.  He told me that the college will always be there.  I gave the whole mess to God to take care of and things started to settle down. 

Everytime I wanted to start something new I would sit and think it through and then put it on my list of things to do in the future.  It took alot of soul searching and now I've learned to take things slow! 

Take Care and take it slow!

Debora

[lynnmarie219]

Hi Stephanie,


Lots of positive thoughts and prayers coming your way right now! Hang in there! 

[ktfabian]

Hi Stephanie

I hope today looks a bit brighter and that you're not spending most of your time on the commode.

You've gotten alot of good advice here, and I'm sure as you sort things out, you'll figure out which of it works for you.

I would like to emphasize the point someone made to get over to the counseling center, however.  My oldest, who's 22 and still hasn't finished college (isn't even going right now, to be honest) had depression issues his first year at college but refused to go to the counseling center.  He's also diagnosed with ADHD, which would have opened up a world of assistance for him had he only asked. He came home angry at us and angry at himself, and is just now getting out from under student loans and realizing we all make mistakes.

If you go to the counseling center, they can take the official steps to get you an extension on some of you finals and papers.  I don't know if you're away from home from college, but even if you are, you may still be given the opportunity to finish assignments over the summer if you can get through final exams.  If not, you may be able to make up classes at a community college near home (much less expensive than making them up at a 4-year college - just make sure the credits are transferable).

Right now, unfortunately, your body is demanding precedence over your mind, and there's not much you can do about that.  Getting even more stressed about school can definitely make the physical worse.

Talk to a counselor.  You may have options you don't know about through the Americans with Disabilities Act that can keep your college career on course and save you a bunch of stress.  The counseling center will know this.

My son now swears, when he can afford to go back to college, the first thing he'll do when he gets there is make sure he knows where the counseling center is and stops in to say hi.

I'm praying for you, sweetie, and know that you'll overcome the obstacles and get that degree you're working so hard on!
Hugs, Tracy

[stegello08]

Wow! Thank you everyone for responding to my post. I have been feeling a bit better, and I did make a list of things I had to do. This week has been a total roller coaster. For now on, I am going to laugh when the doctor tells me "something else" is wrong. Currently I have SjS (since 2006), I have bacteria in my stomach which makes me sick, and Thursday the I went to the eye doctor, and I'm borderline on the verge of having Glaucoma. I know God has everything in control, and right now I am going through a "season" that eventually will lead to another season...which hopefully is brighter.

On Thursday I also found out my dear grandma who practically raised me, has thyroid cancer. This has been pretty devastating a long with everything else going on. It is spreading down behind the chest bone. If she decides to have the surgery to remove the tumors, they will have to cut right above the chest bone and they will have to put in trachea because of it. She will be 76 this year, and she has breathing problems and is obese, so the surgery is no guarantee she will live. If she doesn't have the surgery, she might have 7-8 months to live, and then it would grown up into her throat and choke her to death. Surprisingly, my grandma is doing well, and she said that God has everything in his hands. Please keep her in your prayers. She is going to the doctors May 21st, and they are going to decide whether they are going to do the surgery.

Anyway, thanks again everyone. Only two weeks left of this block of classes, and I will start new ones with a fresh start.

P.S. Someone mentioned they did not know how old I was. I am 22.

[lynnmarie219]

Hi Stephanie,


It's good to hear that you are starting with a fresh new outlook on things.....its all that we can do sometimes right? 

I will also keep you and your grandma in my prayers....she sounds like her faith and positive thinking is doing well by her at this time...I wish her lots of positive thoughts and support at her appointment on May 21st! 

[Katybarstool]

Hi Stephanie

It sounds like you have made some good decisions.  I will also add your grandma - and you - to my prayer list.

God bless.

Kathyx

[Shari]

Stephanie~~~~Prayers to you and your dear Grandma~~~Love Shari

[Scottietottie]

Hi Stephanie

Are the bugs in your stomach helicobactor pylori?  If so, antibiotics should shift them. They're pretty common but can be got rid of.

Take care - Scottie