U ever feel like u are just waiting around to die???

[machenza]

eye2dry,

That was amazing post. You are a strong person,

Nellie

[KRNLMBCH]

I'm so sorry to hear you feel like this, because I know what it feels like.  I hate going to sleep each night because I know I have to wake up to another long, painful, day of isolation and boredom.   It's impossible to make any plans, therefore, there is never anything to look forward to.  Luckily, and I don't know how, I've somehow been able to "accept" this new lifestyle.  The days of wishing it would just end are not as frequent anymore.  I stlll have HOPE that one day, after another, after another, I'll wake up and feel "normal" and be able to live my old life again.  Hang in there, you are NOT ALONE. 

[Scottietottie]

Hi 

I felt like that a few years ago - but I don't now.  I realise, as I have said before that I am not as ill as many of you but knowing that everyday was going to hurt for the rest of my life did used to get me down.

In my case, my thyroid did not help matters. If I am under medicated a black depression descends and death would be welcome. I am now over medicated and doing nicely. I run better hyper!

Concentrating on what I CAN do and what I ENJOY doing has made a big difference too. A badly broken arm shunted me into early retirement. I spent the best part of six months sitting vegetating in more pain than I had ever been in before.

I am now very selfish. I concentrate on doing things I like to do. There is very little I HAVE to do. Right now I am painting a small room in anticipation of a visit from a 3 year old grandson this summer. I remember when painting it would have taken two days. It is now two weeks and counting. It is painfully slow but I WILL finish it.

Admittedly I have a wonderful husband, who is also retired, who pretty well took over domestic duties when I broke my arm. He really enjoys cooking and I haven't taken the kitchen back!

Concentrate on what you CAN do - not what you can't. Accept limitations and find a way round them if possible. We only got one life so we may as well live it!

Take care - Scottie 

[Tracyrose]

I know what you mean. I was telling a woman i know about trimengal neurolgia and she interupted me and said " have you tried yoga?" I wanted to whack her !!! Not being visibly sick is good and bad at the same time I guess . I look in the mirror and think I look so sick , no one else sees it besides my mother. Hope you are feeling better.

[SjoGirl]

Yes, yes, yes, I've been there, particularly after I lost two sisters and a brother-in-law within four months. I was so ill, didn't know what was wrong with me and figured I was going to die, why not then.

That was four year ago. It took a long time to get  diagnosis and start treatment. I continue to have issues, but I took antidepressants for a while, went to counseling, found things I could do and could enjoy, prayed and asked others to pray for me, and much more.

Eventually, I crawled out of that hole. I continue to have issues, but try to embrace the life I've been given. It's not easy, but I work with elder and see them living with such strength, dignity and resolve (along with horrible illnesses) and figure if they can do it why not me.

Again, it has taken a long time, I got lots of help, and I still have bad days. Just want to say the potential exists to if not feel fully physically better, to feel mentally more upbeat.

Wishing you strength and peace.

[irish]

karlee, I have just now read your post but have not read the answers so bear with my reply as you may not agree with me at all.

Yes, it is miserable being sick and yes, I had times when I felt like I was marching in place and accomplishing nothing of any  consequence. However, the dayss go on and when something doesn't change on its own, sometimes it is time to shake up things a little and see if some change can be made by someone else.

As a retired nurse I ran through your listing of medications and I am wondering if you would not profit from having someone re-evalute your meds. You are on some antidepressants, but you are also on some meds that can really make you depressed and add fuel to the fire. There may be better medications available that will work better without the same side effects. If you want more of my thoughts just PM me.

Just hang in there and know that sometimes we have to go through the really bad times to appreciate when we improve even a little. Sounds like an old saying, but it is so true. Hanging around exhausted and hurting really does get old and having to deal with the weakness and pain even while grocery shopping is beyond miserable. I alays figure if I can still stand and walk I will buy groceries, but when I get home I have to rest for the next 2 days due to the pain and exhaustion. Price we pay for trying to keep our independence. Keep on keeping on and things can and will surprise you. Sometimes we have to put ourselves out on a limb to make things happen. Irish