Ark mom

[Piebird]

I hope we didn't scare off or make you feel pressured to make decisions.

I would love to hear from you.

I think a LOT of folks here have been in your situation.

[jpd54]

 Arkmom,

We miss you.  I have been in your same situation.  We are all here for you.  Please let us know you are okay.

   (((hugs)))

              Jennifer

[slccom]

Likewise! I know this is a busy time for you, and sending positive thoughts your way.

Hugs, Sharon

[Ark mom]

Oh gosh, you guys don't scare me off!  I have been reading the board off and on when I get a chance but I have been forgetting to check THIS particular board.  So, sorry guys!  Things have been rough for me personally, as well as trying to adapt to a new schedule for my daughter who started kindergarten a few weeks ago.  Getting up at 6 am has never been my thing, nor has being on a strict schedule and early bedtime for my kids. 

Plus, my daughter has had a difficult transition to kindergarten and didn't like her teacher, or she didn't think her teacher liked her, and would cry and beg not to go to school.  I have had to have conferences with the teacher about it.  It is better now, thankfully.

I have also been tapering prednisone down from my comfortable, health stabilizing 10 mg a day.  After a week or so of being at 7.5 mg, I am having a flare up.  I am starting to panic as I was doing pretty well on Arava and prednisone.  Now, I am seeing that Arava isn't probably going to be the drug drug for me because I cannot stay at 10 mg of prednsione infinitely. 

I guess I need to move up my rheumy appt that is 1.5 months away to discuss our next line of treatment.  He mentioned that imuran was probably the next choice or perhaps cell cept.  I am worried that nothing is going to work, that I am going to be sick no matter what I do, that I am going to end up in a nursing care facility to die because I won't be able to function.  So, I am stressing over that.  My new health instability is complicating my divorce situation as well. 

I have an attorney selected, but I am in a whole new health limbo, which terrifies me.  Everything is on hold again.  He is gone mostly on business travels, which spares me interaction with him, but it causes my children much grief to be without him so much. 

Thank you for your concern and well wishes.  One good thing though is that I am on a good stable does of gabapentin now (600mgx3) which has reduced my pain to almost zero!  I used to take hydrocodone once or twice a day, but now I am taking it only once or twice a week.  Hopefully after a few more weeks of this new dose that I won't need it even that much, maybe only a few times a month.  My rheumy is not really keen on narcotic pain medication and won't prescribe it.  I guess I need to see my GP or a pain specialist if I still feel like I need something else for breakthrough pain. 

The hardest thing about trying to get divorced is this stupid disease!!!!  Just when I feel confident in just doing it, I have a setback.  Now, I need to try a new medication and get adjusted to that, especially new side effects, while worrying if it is even going to work.   How convenient for him that I am trapped once again.  Sigh. 

Love and peace to all!  Hugs. 

[Velcro]

Good to hear from you Ark Mom!  We've all been worried about you.

[Ark mom]

Litliwiowa, I do have a few neighborhood friends and a few others.  I am not one to ask favors, unless I am really dying.  It's embarrassing.  But, I will ask if I really need help.  Thanks for reminding to do this!  I appreciate all of your personal help over all of this. 

I is frustrating because if I was a normal, healthy person, I could do this in a heartbeat!  Inside, my spirit is alive and wants to do so much, wants to live and dream!  Then, reality is a hard slap in the face.  Ugh!

[slccom]

You know how good you feel when you can help someone else? It is a wonderful feeling. Sometimes, my Grandma Freda taught me, the greatest gift you can give someone else is to let them help you.

Hugs, Sharon

[Piebird]

So good to hear from you.

Wonderful to hear that inside your "spirit is alive". Some days that is all that I have when the physical stuff is too much. When we loose that spark it feels hopeless.