Considering Inpatient Mental Clinic

[gold55]

Great words of wisdom and experience Missy!
I wish you only better days Ark Mom....I pray for you and your darling kids
and I pray that your husband finds his way back to the original vows he spoke
to you and in front of God!

Do what your heart tells you to do and reach out for any assistance available to you.
You will get through this tough time because you want to live for those kids.  When things
get this bad they can only get better.  We've all had these times when we thought we were losing
it.  Take care of yourself first.

[rudytudy]

We love and support you here and you're not ever alone!   

Last year even with a supportive husband I seemed to lose myself.   I felt in a state of shock by all the things in my life and felt very dark.  I actually asked my husband to lock up our handgun because I didn't want it just sitting in the kitchen drawer.  (We have no children).

I went to a counselor right away and regained my focus and inner strength.   I understand the dark and it is temporary.   All around you ArkMom are people who want to help you regain your independence.   Remember how much your kids need you and want to see you get back your happiness.  That's worth fighting for.   

[Ceceraven]

       Oh my, my dear Ark mom,  You have received alot of wonderful advice from empathetic and thoughtful people.  PLEASE!! PLEASE!!  You have alot of options, it is obvious you want help because you reached out to us.  You really don't want to hurt yourself.  MissyLouWho made a great point,  if you killed yourself you would ruin your childrens' lives.  I know that thought has kept me grounded several times.  You are in my thoughts and prayers as I walk through this day  .


                              Be kind to yourself,   Ceceraven

[Parched]

You have received great feedback.   Please, Please get the help you need.     

When I realized my health problems could never be cured and this was my new life.  I felt some of what you are going through.   I got help, thinking I just needed to find a way to cope long enough to finish raising my babies.  I can tell you with a great therapist I don't just live for my babies but also my self. 

I agree with the poster who suggested you print what you posted here and take it to your primary doctor, so he/she can help you. 

(((Hugs)))
Parched

[gardenlover]

Please read the posts that talk about places you can go with your children.  I went through something similar several months ago, only my family was supportive.  I was feeling very guilty that their quality of life was being impacted due to my health.  The Cymbalta really helped me, but know that it takes a while and it made me feel very sick at first.  I'd start on a low dose and then work your way up.  I know it feels like it won't/can't get better right now and when people told me that a few months ago I didn't believe them.  That was depression talking in my head.  Congrats for realizing that you don't have to do this on your own!!  When you are depressed, the smalles things (even our beloved children) can hurt.  It will get better.  You will be better than you are today!!  Seek the professional help you need and then come back here any time.  Hug your children.  They are going through a lot too and react to our illness in weird and wonderful ways!!  Reassure them that together things will be better but some things just have to be figured out.  You and your kids are a team and your team is going to win this fight!!

[gardenlover]

One more thing...while you are waiting for longer term antidepressants to kick in, you should also ask your dr. about short term things to take at the same time (something like Ativan) until the other drug kicks in.  There are drugs now that deal with both depression and pain symptoms (Cymbalta is one).  Best, please keep up posted!

[Meld256]

Dear Ark Mom,

Lots of good advice and hope given to you, already.  I also am touched by your courage to let us know how despondent you are...and my prayers are with you.

It can get so much better, but I know it's hard to believe when we're in such a place emotionally. Please do what you need for yourself; I hope you've contacted someone already.

And please know that you are never alone, and we care for you!

[jpd54]

I also am in Arkansas in the Northeast.  If I can be a listening ear, I'm willing.  There are people here who support you.  Please take care of yourself.


    jpd

[loulou]

Dear Ark Mom

We are all thinking of you and hope to hear from you, let us know how things are and if you were able to speak to someone that will give you support.

keep in touch hun, giving you the biggest hug.

x loulou

[jazzlover]

Hugs and prayers for you!! My worries with checking into a facility is that then you are labeled and you give up all rights. They can do anything they want.
It could also cause you to lose your children.
--

Please go to this site if you are contemplating suicide.

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Are you in crisis? Please call 1-800-273-TALK
Are you feeling desperate, alone or hopeless? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), a free, 24-hour hotline available to anyone in suicidal crisis or emotional distress. Your call will be routed to the nearest crisis center to you.

[mshistory]

My worries with checking into a facility is that then you are labeled and you give up all rights. They can do anything they want.

That's not true - people who voluntarily commit themselves are generally allowed to leave anytime they want; IF they are deemed a significant hazard to themselves, they can be committed by a licensed psychologist or psychiatrist but there are limits to how long a person can be retained (e.g., in my state, it's 72 hours). Given the huge shortage of hospital beds and staff, it's a heck of a lot harder than one might think to even have a person committed if they are suicidal.

A person cannot be treated against their will - a lot has changed in the field of mental health since One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest made mental health hospitals seem like a complete nightmare 

[eye2dry]

Ark Mom

All have given you great advice, please take it, for yourself and your children. Just want you to know I feel for you and am

Thinking of you...................


eye2dry

[irish]

It is hard to get into a hospital for psych treatment. When I was nursing in assisted living I would get called in at night for people who had a sudden unexpected change in their mental status. Trying to get someone in for even a 72 hour hold is impossible.

I would end up calling all over the state and always got the same answer--we are full and have people on the waiting list. I have often wondered where the poor people on the waiting list were spending their time.

Know that going to ER if you are feeling at the end of your rope is the best thing you can do. It will get you some medication and get you into the system or on the route for the care you need. It may not be at the speed  you want, but at least you would not be alone.

Also, if a person has a minister/priest who could help it is important to keep him in the loop. Sometimes some of the women in the congregation can share child care and fix some meals in order for you to rest more. As far as the husband who doesn't listen or seem to care, sometimes a man can just have a mean streak. Terrible thing to say, but sometimes having a minister or doctor speak to the hubby helps.

Sometimes the man is scared to death and doesn't have a clue what he should be doing. If the man is of the opinion that the women do the kids, house, laundry, meals, cleaning, etc I think I would find his Momma and give her what for. This is not the dark ages and men need to be able to step up to the plate.

Getting the help you need Arkmom is first and foremost. In the future, the decisions you make at this time will show forth in your children lives and also in your health and happiness. Sometimes a wife has to make hard decisions to keep the take care of herself and the kids. Please know I am praying for you. Irish

[Virgi]

Arkmom,

Ive been feeling like that for more than a year now ... My life is a chronic crisis and my mental is not well.

I had to file a complaint for family violence that I suffer since I was a kid, am 37 - bipolar, borderline, sjogrens, fibomyalgia, neurocardiogenic syncope, vulvodynia, and I pull my hair out since I was 9 yers old due to all anxiety provoked by parents and family violence, am single and all illnesses made me take the decision of living with my parents again after I was "independent" for about 8 years. I posted about this back in October .. the legal process is slow but today the lawyer came to take a declaration from my Dad and he denies everything.

They too complain about not leaving things in their place, or if I drop something, even the way my flip flops make noise on the stairs cuz my stiffness and hip leg pain dizziness etc dont make me be a careful person with what shoes I wear or the noise they make .. I have no visits from people becuz my Dad shouts at me and embarrasses them too ... Mom is OCD with cleaning etc..

We have to get out of these situations with people who treat us like this!!

I dont have kids so it must be extra difficult I only wish I had my own kids or wish will have them someday. They are a blessing though and you are lucky!!! 

Inbox me any time and I hope you are feeling better LOTS OF STRENGHT AND LOVE GOING YOUR WAY!

Virgi

[Ark mom]

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to reach out to me.  I am so grateful.  Words cannot convey the tears in my eyes or the warmth in my heart for everyone here.  Here, I never feel alone like I do in real life. 

My mom came to take the little girls for a while.  I met with a therapist today, and I am checking into a mental health clinic for a bit for some help.   I will not be on the board for a while, but will hopefully be back soon.  Much love to you all.