Forever keeping my promise

[Bucky]

To our members who have been here for a while, please bear with me yet again as I uphold my promise to Josh.
                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have a nephew named Josh.  I have to give you a little background on Josh before I get to my promise.  Josh l-o-v-e-s souped up trucks.  The trucks with big wheels, loud mufflers, loud music, all the shiny chrome and flashy "extras".  With that being said, he also loves to take his trucks through the mud . . . literally!!  His truck would be covered from roof to wheels in mud and then he would turn around and detail it until it looked brand new.  When Josh isn't working, he's out with his buddies and their trucks and the mud.  Josh's chosen profession is landscaping - being in his early 20's, he is very good at it.

In the spring of 2004 Josh complained of pain in his chest area.  The doctor at the walk-in clinic chalked it up to a pulled muscle.  In June when I was visiting, Josh still complained of pain.  More time passed and they went to another doctor as things just didn't seem right that he would still be in pain months and months later.  To make a long story short, when the new doctor ran some blood work on Josh it came back that Josh had a rare liver cancer.  He had been misdiagnosed back in the spring and it was now early fall.  A whirlwind of doctor appointments followed and he was given the grim news that his cancer was too advanced for the medicines to work or for him to go into a clinical trial.  Six weeks from the time of Josh's new diagnose, he passed away at the age of 22.

I was fortunate to be a part of Josh's hospice team to be with him 24/7 for his last few days.  I made a promise to Josh that I would share his story to help save others from having to go through what he did.  IF you feel things in your body are not quite right and you are not getting any answers from the doctors . . . keep pursuing it. You have to be your own health advocate. Had they done some blood work in the very beginning, back in the spring, they would have found the cancer.  Because of Josh's age and his profession, the "pulled muscle" seemed like an acceptable diagnose.  It wasn't.  When you are explaining aches and pains to the doctors be as descriptive as you can be.  Is it throbbing, dull, sharp, intense, etc.?  Guys tend to downgrade the pain scale.  It was my SIL who noticed the grimace in Josh's face while he was dealing with the pain - it hurt a lot more than he was letting on.  We'll never know if Josh could have beaten this cancer had it been found earlier.

Josh's motto was:  "I will be heard!"

Josh - in every souped up truck, loud stereo, beautiful landscaped yard or business I think of you.  Every time I go to the doctor - I think of you.

Josh - today is your 30th Birthday!!  It just doesn't seem possible.  I've seen a lot of "Josh trucks" the last few days.  You're never far from my mind buddy.  Especially, since your cousin looks so much like you did when you were his age.  I love you, miss you, and hear you. (I've kept my promise to you too, and always will . . . love you forever!)  xoxoxo  Happy Birthday, Josh!!

Aunt Bucky

P.S.  To those of you who have a cancer history in your families - please, make sure and get regular screenings.  (In Josh's case, no one in our family had any history of liver cancer.)  It is my hope and prayer that someday researchers will find a cause and cure for all cancers.  Way too many lives are taken by this awful disease.  To our members who are dealing with a dx of cancer right now - keep the faith and know we are here to support you in your journey.

[engy]

I love reading your promise every year.

Sweet tribute Bucky.

Many lessons in what you write.

Blessings, Carie

[lynnmarie219]

Yes dear Bucky....you have kept your promise to Josh! He would be proud to know that you have done what you said you would do!

Happy 30th Birthday to Josh in heaven!

Hugs to you and thank you for the very important message you bring to us every year!

[Katybarstool]

Hppy birthday to Josh.

Bucky, I can't believe this speial day has come around again. YOu are a very specail auntie.

Kathyx

[Ark mom]

What a sad story!  How wonderful for him that he had YOU because you are an angel on Earth.  Thank you for sharing.  Hugs.

[gold55]

Happy Birthday Josh.  Your memory lives on in many kind hearts.

[susanep]

Thank you for sharing this with us. It is the truth too, because several years ago when I had a severe blood clot in my leg, everyone kept telling me it was a pulled muscle due to my turning my ankle.

I kept elevating my leg for some relief, but after a while that didn't give me relief anymore, and I just felt something more was going on.

I finally told my husband that the pain wouldn't stop, and that I need some relief, so he took me to the emergency room, and the next thing I knew they were admitting me, and hooking me  up to things, and explained I had a deep vein thrombosis.

I wasn't diagnosed at the time with sjogren's either, and had been sitting out in the hot sun, etc.

susanep

[Carebear]

Happy Birthday, Josh.   I was just thinking about you and your Aunt Bucky last week.

[Daisy1234]

Josh, know that your truly special legacy continues in the person of your very exceptional Aunt Bucky. 

Peace and love,

Daisy

[Cricket]

Happy Birthday to Josh in heaven!!   Bucky you are a special auntie!!

[Sleepy In Seattle]

Wow - I never really thought much of those trucks, but now I will notice them and think that they are beautiful because of Josh. I will also remember to urge the people around me to listen to their bodies and take care of themselves.

Bucky I am sorry you lost him, but please know that his life (and your story) will do good in the world far beyond your immediate circle of friends...

[kimbo]

Thank you Bucky,

Josh smiles!

And you lovingly pass on what he would want to be said.

Love and Hugs, kimbo