How to handle toxic people

[meow]

Actually, yeah, there are probably as many of those in our population of 3000, as you'd find in any average high school on the Mexican border. We are a Title I school in a Title I district.

I work mostly with juniors and seniors, so that age difference can make a big difference in their atitude. I am no Pollyanna---in my one class of 35 seniors, I have 7 with full-time jobs, 4 with part-time jobs, 3 with children, one who is married with a part-time job but no kids, and about 1/3 of them are on free/reduced lunch. This year I don't have anyone with an ankle bracelet or a PO, but I have 2 that came from Juarez, one whose father was murdered last summer.

  I just really like them in general, and the idea of retiring when I am eligible in a few years scares me to death. I'm afraid I'll turn into an old lady over night.

[LizPetillo]

Compassion!

I'm trying not to get sucked into dealing with them more than I have to.  Compassion would equal more contact and I'm trying to avoid that. 


I've been reading up on Passive/Aggressive disorders ... and the people I have to deal with definately fit the description for that.   I'm hearing attention seeking lies ... lies said about me (and others) in order to gain sympathy and get attention from others.  They rewrite the past so that it fits their attention seeking agenda.  They take no responsibility for their own actions.  The one thing I've come across while reading is that when dealing with these people you HAVE to have witness' to all discussions with them otherwise they will start fights and then lie to make you look like the crazy person instead of them.

Still trying to figure out how to deal with them.  I HAVE to ... no choice.
But I'm trying to cut back contact as much as possible ...
With this disease I have to.   There is no way I can deal with the head
games and the fallout from them being passive/aggressive.  The stress
flares me up.

[engy]

I have some toxic people (adults)at work and they are energy vampires that suck the energy right out of you!

Before I go to work I imagine a huge, bright white shield that covers me & protects me from these people. I ask God and his angels to help me place this safe barrier around me.

When I have to interact with one especially, I do not face the person directly, I kind of turn sideways to deflect her negative energy & not absorb it.

Seems to work for me. I still get aggitated but not as much & I let it go much faster now.

[A66eyroad]

Do a Google search for "energy vampires" and you'll find some very interesting information.

[LizPetillo]

I'm having a hard time 'shaking' the anger I'm feeling towards them right now.  But I know that by carrying the anger .. the evil in them wins.  TRYING TRYING TRYING ....

[MarkP_1972]

I just tell them what I think and get it out!
Whether they like it or not. 

I work in the oilfield, and it's a different world out there. Lot's of tough guys...guess I'm one of them- (you have to be)it's just the way it is.
I do avoid physical altercations (fights), because these days that's a good way to get fired or jail time...and IF someone swings I am not one to "turn the other cheek"and thank goodness no one messes with me, I guess with my stature and appearance I have my bluff in on everyone.
I have no tolerance for bullies, liars, cheaters, criminals, loud mouths,anyone making threats, etc.

I do not let ANYONE walk all over me, I don't care who they are.
I find what works for me is to just try to get along with everyone, accept them as they are and if they cross a line or step on a nerve I let them know about it real quick.

[MarkP_1972]

As a matter of self-preservation, a man needs good friends or ardent enemies, for the former instruct him and the latter take him to task.
~Diogenes

[Pisces24]

There are a few toxic people that you just have to really tell off. After that you get along with them just fine. You let em and they will walk all over you.

MarkP: my late father b 1917 grew up in depression times. He pretty much learned to take care of himself. My dad always showed a tough exterior. The kind you might want to think twice before you mess with. He didn't have trouble with people. I tend to be pretty straightforward like him too.

But being a "gal", we have to be a bit more diplomatic telling someone off or we get labeled witches w/a b.  I still have run ins with some guys who think because I am a short 105lb gal they can get buy with high quotes or shoddy work or sell me a lemon or what I don't need. You would not believe some of the stuff pulled. 

Like your quote btw.