I keep doing self-defeating things.....grrr

[eyeamdry]

I had an appt to my rheumy last week and I cancelled.  Its about 90 miles one way but my husband drives and he even makes little lunches for us.  So, I can't complain about "all the trouble I have to do."  I can sleep both ways.

This morning, I had another appt that I set when I calcelled last weeks appt.  Now, they will certainly charge me some sort of fee (and I deserve to pay it) but mostly I feel guilt for nixing my rheumy whom I love and my husband whom I also love.  I am lucky to have both. 

Trouble now is we have winter weather coming and we can always be stopped by snow.  I have been doing physical therapy for the past 5 or 6 weeks twice a week and I am using that for an excuse, but it wears me out.  If anyone can get me out of this hole, I'd appreciate it.  I started this after Iwas dx with cancer 5 years ago and 6 months after my SJS diagnosis.  Lucy

[irish]

Lucy, I am going to come to Michigan with a shovel and dig you out of your little hut. It is time for you to get out to the doctor. You need the socialization and need to be assessed after this knee surgery you had.

You know I love you so I am giving you these gentle nudges with my shovel to get you up and out. I hate going to the doctor, but I love getting out. I told my hubby the other day that I love those trips we make to my infusion once a month.

We drive 2 hours one way. We stop and fill the gas tank about 6:30AM and I go pay the bill and pick up my coffee and a donut and a pop with ice. We drive with the radioi on and listen to some interesting talk radio shows and then music when we feel like it. After 47 years of marriage we don't talk a lot but it is just nice to feel like we are doing something "normal" (as in riding ini the car) together.

I especially enjoy the sunrises we get to see that early in the morning. We have to pack the car in the morning cause we usually stay overnight at our son's house so we can visit with the grandkids. The packing I don't like. I have to pack my vest (big thing to lug around) my nebulizer, distilled water, netipot, meds for both of us, and other things plus clothes. That is the worst part of the trip.

Lucy, we also worry about the snow and we have had times when we have had to stay close to the docs office in a motel cause the weather got too bad to even make it to the son's house. It is hard to spend that money but have to do it at times.

Hope you can get up and moving and out the door girl. Hugs Irish

[eyeamdry]

I have PT at 10 am and promise I'll be there.  I should be done with PT in another week or so. 

[Joe S.]

While Jan is done with PT, she still plays tones and exercises. She does an hour and a half of tones because it makes her feel so much better. She is bowling on Wednesdays and has asked me with in case she has problems. I think that she may start bowling on Tuesdays again. She is going on Tuesdays to socialize and have pizza with her team but leaving her bowling balls at home.

Work on your depression (CBT) and get out to walk at the mall.

[eyeamdry]

Thanks guys (Joe, Irish).

I went to PT today without whining and I'm sure my hubby appreciated it.  I did quite a few exercises and will feel them tomorrow.  I notice now that my "other" knee hurts more than the new replacement.  The therapist noticed when she asked me to do the stairs.  I think there probably will be discussion on what to do next.  Joe, your wife sounds like a miracle woman!  Bowling already.  Congrats to her.  Lucy

[Carolina]

Lucy, angel,

This is normal, IMHO. 

"after I was dx with cancer 5 years ago and 6 months after my SJS diagnosis."

You have been hit badly with a cancer diagnosis following right after the SJS.

It takes years and years to recover any sense of equilibrium, Lucy.  And you will never be the same.

The distance, the uncertainty of the weather, and a basic sense that doctors bear bad news, added to the burden of your conditions and experiences, all combine to make you want out of more stress.

If you find that you cannot bring yourself to do what you KNOW you need to do, you might ask for a referral to a professional who can give you some techniques for overcoming your own resistance.  It is usually called something like cognitive behavioral therapy.

I imagine that just sharing this with us has been a significant first step in the process!

Keep us posted.

Hugs

Elaine

[Meld256]

Lucy, dear 

I just saw your post and I'll say "Hooray for you!  You went to PT."

Leave it to Irish to say she will come dig you out, so you have no excuses.    I know this must be the hard part right now; physical therapy is hard work.  It seems like it's so much to do, I'm sure it gets old and tiring and yet you know you must do it.

When I've needed to get up and go somewhere I've done the same thing. I think "I don't WANNA" and I haven't had anything close to knee surgery. Pitiful, it is, on my part.

Coming here to *whine* is perfectly alright, you know.  Then we'll tell you we love ya and to get out of the house. Seeing something other than the four walls is good for all of us.  We know you can go on!
Now to take my own advice and get myself out to do some things that need done.

Take care, dear.
Melinda

[Narablueeyes]

I had an appt to my rheumy last week and I cancelled.  Its about 90 miles one way but my husband drives and he even makes little lunches for us.  So, I can't complain about "all the trouble I have to do."  I can sleep both ways.

This morning, I had another appt that I set when I calcelled last weeks appt.  Now, they will certainly charge me some sort of fee (and I deserve to pay it) but mostly I feel guilt for nixing my rheumy whom I love and my husband whom I also love.  I am lucky to have both. 

Trouble now is we have winter weather coming and we can always be stopped by snow.  I have been doing physical therapy for the past 5 or 6 weeks twice a week and I am using that for an excuse, but it wears me out.  If anyone can get me out of this hole, I'd appreciate it.  I started this after Iwas dx with cancer 5 years ago and 6 months after my SJS diagnosis.  Lucy

Lucy, I do the exact same thing!!  I did, however, make an 8:30 appt this morning.  Even got there 45 minutes early and got out. By 8:15.  Next week, I've got an Ob-Gyn on Monday and a pain appt on Tuesday.  Sometimes there's just no energy.  Gotta do it anyway.  We HAVE to take care of ourselves girl!!