Angry

[smallfry]

This isn't living, it's existing with with a chronic illness, You bet i am angry.
Cheryl

[LizPetillo]

This isn't living, it's existing ....

DITTO THAT!  I'm not living.  I'm not dead. 
I'm stuck in between ... it's CRUEL.

Side note ... left arm started burning today .. this is new. 
Hurts like heck.  Like rug burns all over it.
Freak'n ticks me off. 

[Narablueeyes]

All the time.

And every time something new pops up ... I get ticked all over again.

Today ... left side of the face and lips are tingling and numbish ... it's new ... means the neuropathy is spreading ... it's so close to my throat I'm worried ...

I don't mind out and out dying ... but this inbetween stage is CRUEL. 

Pick one ... cure me or kill me .. flip the freak'n switch.

So yes ... I'm still angry and will be until I'm cured or dead.

Oh I SSOOOO hear you on this!  Cruel is putting it mildly...

[Still in the hunt]

Good topic and I see a lot of the same thoughts,, the miserable pain, the horrible endless round of visis to doctors that give us no relief, I dont expect to come back now, the crime against my nervous system has been commited,, But I am not one bit suprised that some of us have given it thethought that leaving this miserable existance is a far cry better alternative then living alife thats nothing short of what Liz calls cruel,, which it is,, I am not asking for miracles,, I quit asking long ago,, there are no more tears to shed,, staring at the wll has become my way of coping when i realize there is no escaping this madness, I have a neuro appt tomorrow, I dont kow why I bother to go,, she offers nothing,, and shes part ofthe biggest practice in the UPMC network in Pittsburgh,, must be 30 neuros in the bunch and i have been shoved to over half of them,, none of which has a clue why I have this neuropathy,, I still think that with enough looking,, a clue will jump out at you,, but like some of our doctors,, if it aint there,, its not there

[KellyG999]

STILL IN THE HUNT - Never give up hope. Someday, somehow we will all get help. It may be in a small way - one symptom gone, one new friend, one med that takes the edge off. Why you? Why NOT you??

Still praying for you.

Never give up. We all care so much.

[arina83]

I, too, am very angry sometimes. That I'm not well enough to do things I love or need to do, and also that I need to fight with doctors to get treatment. Not fair at all.

[becky]

The thing I get the angriest about is the fatigue.  I will be doing fine and then just hit a brick wall and cannot do another thing.  I really hate it.  I sleep all night and get up and feel like I haven't been to bed in days.  It's really awful.  The "energizer bunny" is dead.

[amberjolie1]

I have moments where I feel angry that I can't do certain things that used to take no thought at all (like opening things, sitting on the floor, kicking off my shoes, etc).  At least I can't without pain.

But more than angry, I feel more melancholy about the things I can't do anymore.  Not out and out depressed, just down.

I do get angry in terms of losing my temper easily, though.  I don't know if it's a Sjogren's thing, or just a fatigue thing where my brain can't handle anything anymore...

[puccini914]

I get angry all the time.  Over what I want to do and yet I'm to tired to even get dressed. Over wanting to play, but my hips won't even let me walk. I've been stuck on this some couch for months without even a regular bathing schedule, because sometimes a shower is even beyond my energy limits.  Then I have to stop and think.  When there is an emergency and one of my kids has to go to the doctor because they are really, really sick, I make myself get up and go take them.  It doesn't matter how I feel at that point, it's my child and he needs care and I will make sure he gets it.  We can make ourselves move when we really have to.  I've been thinking it over and I've decided that I have to start making myself move for a purpose.  I think I found the perfect one.  By next year, both my kids will be in school. Yeah!!! I'm about to be forced with the worst boredom ever, so rather then face that, I'll be going back to school at age 42.  On line classes to get a Bachelor's degree in Psychology, so I can be a professional counselor.  I would love to counsel people like us.  Help us to find the silver lining in our lives, the things that we can still give back to life that can help us feel like more then second class citizens.  When we became sick, we felt like we still had so much to offer the world, well, what happened to it?  Obliviously I no longer have the strength to restrain large dogs or the hand dexterity to assist with surgeries, I can't work as a Veterinary Tech any more, but I could be a really good part-time counselor and have the opportunity to help lots of people, some maybe struggling wit the same issues we face everyday.  That would be a great blessing for my life and I know if I work hard, I can make it happen  It would also give me something constructive to put my time into.  It will mean less time from forums, but I can always be reached through email or PM's.  I think this may be one of the best steps I've taken since finding the right PCP for me.  Sometimes dealing with anger means doing something about it.  Showing this disease that you're not going to give up and let it win your life  over.                                        Jennifer

[Narablueeyes]

I get angry all the time.  Over what I want to do and yet I'm to tired to even get dressed. Over wanting to play, but my hips won't even let me walk. I've been stuck on this some couch for months without even a regular bathing schedule, because sometimes a shower is even beyond my energy limits.  Then I have to stop and think.  When there is an emergency and one of my kids has to go to the doctor because they are really, really sick, I make myself get up and go take them.  It doesn't matter how I feel at that point, it's my child and he needs care and I will make sure he gets it.  We can make ourselves move when we really have to.  I've been thinking it over and I've decided that I have to start making myself move for a purpose.  I think I found the perfect one.  By next year, both my kids will be in school. Yeah!!! I'm about to be forced with the worst boredom ever, so rather then face that, I'll be going back to school at age 42.  On line classes to get a Bachelor's degree in Psychology, so I can be a professional counselor.  I would love to counsel people like us.  Help us to find the silver lining in our lives, the things that we can still give back to life that can help us feel like more then second class citizens.  When we became sick, we felt like we still had so much to offer the world, well, what happened to it?  Obliviously I no longer have the strength to restrain large dogs or the hand dexterity to assist with surgeries, I can't work as a Veterinary Tech any more, but I could be a really good part-time counselor and have the opportunity to help lots of people, some maybe struggling wit the same issues we face everyday.  That would be a great blessing for my life and I know if I work hard, I can make it happen  It would also give me something constructive to put my time into.  It will mean less time from forums, but I can always be reached through email or PM's.  I think this may be one of the best steps I've taken since finding the right PCP for me.  Sometimes dealing with anger means doing something about it.  Showing this disease that you're not going to give up and let it win your life  over.                                        Jennifer

You go girl!!  You can do this!!

[LizPetillo]

the crime against my nervous system has been commited,,

It IS a crime .. isn't it?
I wanna' know who is responsible.
I'd love to haul Him (capital H) into a court of law and put Him on trial.

oh ... don't get me started ...   

[Narablueeyes]

the crime against my nervous system has been commited,,

It IS a crime .. isn't it?
I wanna' know who is responsible.
I'd love to haul Him (capital H) into a court of law and put Him on trial.

oh ... don't get me started ...   

Oh yeah...

[Jorja]

     One thing makes me particularly mad . . . When you tell someone that you have Sjogren's and they reply, "Oh, that's the thing that causes your eyes to be dry." That's all the average person knows about Sjogren's.  What a crying shame!!!!

[Meleke]

i think we all do. I have struggles with needing to ask my daughter for help. i have a son i take to and from school and work. I have issues getting motivated just to get up. i hate relying on someone to help me. like most here they don't understand it and find it hard to believe. my son always says mom your just too lazy and this hurts. but i know deep in my heart he dono whats going on and try hard to ignore it, my husband is starting to understand it but he too expects way more than i can deliver and it makes it even harder to bear. I simply look at it like this: i have 4 wonderful grandkids i adore i know i wont be able to do a lot for them but i will do what i can. i will be there for my children or i will make sure i can get the help i need to do what ever it is they need or want. there is always a way to get things done we just gotta do it a different way sometimes and if we have to ask for help well thats not a bad thing. I wished i could wave a wand and make everyone better. i do feel for you having a child so young mine is 17 and i know how i feel about it. I tell my son everyday how proud i am that he can do the things i can't and really strive to do more. the biggest thing you can do for your children is praise and love them i don't think anything else will make them love u anymore or less. thats what really counts.  i admire you for the strenght you do have and remember love ans encouragement is the most important.  teach her to play cards n board games  they meant a lot to me and my brothers when we were kids and my mom was like us sick a lot. when she would have the headaches we didn't mind not spending time we knew she loved us and would spend time when she was better. i know both sides of it.. hope u find your balance and hope this helped you..  god bless

[grafxmkr]

Yes, I feel angry. And I feel like i've been ripped off. Cheated...

Luna

Exactly!