Mom

[Carebear]

Hi lighthouse,

I have been thinking about you lately as well.  Very nice to hear from you, and very good news in deed about your mom.  I'm not familiar with Earthing.  What exactly is it?  Whatever it is, I'm glad it is helping you.

Take care.

[Katybarstool]

Lighthouse, you must be so relieved. How has your mum taken the news? And your dad? Thoughts and prayers for all of you.

Kathyx

[lighthouse33]

Lighthouse, you must be so relieved. How has your mum taken the news? And your dad? Thoughts and prayers for all of you.

Kathyx

Mom is taking the news well, although there is been a lot of complaining and balking about having to have the treatments, all the doctor's visits etc.  She's getting her first chemo treatment today.

Dad is taking the news well.  His health problems have expanded.  The chiro told him yesterday that by looking at his x-ray he can tell he has osteoporosis.  He won't know how bad it is unless dad gets a bone scan.  He's having pain in his back, hip and foot.  Part of the problem with his foot is plantar fascisis.  He didn't follow the doctor's instructions from a year or two ago about wearing his orthotics in his shoes all day and also about wearing the brace at night.  When will people ever learn!

Dad and I are handling the grocery shopping.  Sometimes we have gotten the wrong thing or forgotten something.  I just tell we are doing the best we can.

She threw a fit the other day about my mouth guard case.  Apparently it smells.  She's even tried bleach on it and it won't get it clean.  I researched on the Internet and apprently keeping it in the plastic travel case is not a good idea - i.e. mold etc.  So it is now in a glass jar.  I'm also going to get some Retainer Brite to soak the guard in every day.  I think I will take everything upstairs and take care of it myself.  I already do the cleaning but she had to get involved with the case.  Still a lot of nit picking and do this and do that etc.  She's suffering a lot of back pain and when she's in pain she treats everyone like you know what.

[Katybarstool]

Sounds like you are still having a tough time of it. Your dad is old enough to decide whether he wants to wear the orthotics - if he doesn't then he has to suffer the consequences. Guess your mom still likes to have some control. I hope things improve for you soon.

Just a thought about the brace container, my dentist recommended a weak solution of Milton sterilizing fluid (the stuff you use for baby's bottles) to keep my dentures clean. It works amazingy well, and is relatively inexpensive.

I'm glad to hear from you.

Kathyx

[lighthouse33]

The good times keep on rolling ...  Could it get any worse, you decide.  Mom's been having terrible back pain.  She's tried pain pills, a fentonal (spelling) patch etc.  Nothing has worked.  Because of being on the chemo and radiation she can't have anything heavy duty.  Today she is finally getting an MRI to see what is going on, this was the first slot they had open. 

She's been meaner than a junk yard dog!  I don't know how much more of this I can take, especially if she is unable to get any treatment.  She has four more chemo treatments and five more weeks of radiation.

Our friend who is a chiro said he would see her but he has to know what the problem is first.  I doublt that we will get any test results until next week.  I'm wondeiring if they send her to the pain clinic if they can give her anything.

[Katybarstool]

Lighthouse

What a nightmare. Your mum is really going through it, and you are her scapegoat. I wish I could lighten your load.

Is the carer still coming to see your mum? How's your dad dealing with things?

Keep your chin up - we are all here for you.

Kathyx

[Carolina]

Whoa Lighthouse,

You just get one thing after another.

It is amazing.

Keep us posted.

I would scream and shout and slam doors, I do believe.

Hugs

Elaine

[Carebear]

Dear lighthouse,

You poor girl.    I feel so badly for all three of you.

I only hope that things get resolved sooner, rather than later.  Thanks for keeping us updated.  You try to take care of yourself, okay? 

[lighthouse33]

The MRI shows that she has a compression fracture of the T5 vertebrae.  The doctor said it would heal in three months if she could handle the pain but since everything she takes makes her sick, he said that an interventional radiologist or a neurosurgeon could do a procedure where they insert a ballon to blow the vetebrae up and insert cement in there.  He said he's never had a failure with anyone that's had it done.  They will also take a piece of the bone and test it to see if the cancer has moved there.  It could be any number of things that caused it such as old age, osteoporosis etc.  So, they decided to go with the procedure as soon as possible.  For now she is going to get morphine for the pain. 

The doctor says that the fracture doesn't show up on the PET Scan she had done in August, so it just must have happened.  Looks like we are making progress.  Can't wait for her to be free of the pain.

[lighthouse33]

It's a fracture of the T6 vetebrae.  The hospital nurse last visited two weeks ago to check her wound and that was the end of her.  Nobody has been here since. 

Dad is handling things pretty good but I can tell that he is getting more and more upset.  He is not used to being a caregiver and all this stress is not good for him either.  I think he's really upset about the osteoporosis since he has it too and can see himself going down the same road as mom. 

I'm pretty much staying out of it now.  Nothing I can do or say anyway. 

I'm just very angry and very sad.  Would like to have my old relationship back with my mom.  Up unitl a year ago we were always best friends.  Did everything together, talked about everything.  Ever since my Sjogren's diagnosis three years ago things changed.  Her being in denial of the diagnosis didn't help matters.  People always comment on what a beautiful relationship we have and they just don't know what has happened.  Makes me wonder if it ever existed after some of the comments she has made about me and what has happened in the past. I try to think it is the cancer talking but I just don't know.

[Carebear]

Dearest lighthouse,

It is so difficult to hear our aging, sick parents say hurtful things...things that they would never even dream of thinking when they were well.  I understand completely, and share in your sadness.

For now, you need to hang on to the great memories.  Not many daughters can say that their mom is their best friend.   

When my dad would get ornery, I would just say nothing, because correcting or getting upset only made him worse. Then I would find an excuse to leave for a while.  There were many weeks that I had to "grocery shop" 4 or 5 times. 

Thanks for sharing.  Take care of yourself.

[Cricket]

Dear lighthouse

I am so sorry you have to go through this with your mom.

It is very hard to be sick and have to deal with sick ageing parents, I've been there.  I think your mom is probally scared about what is happening to her and doesn't know how to deal with it.

I also think, being a parent myself, that when she found out you were sick it scared the poop out of her.  Maybe denial is the only way she can handle that.

You are a great daughter and when she is gone you will have a great feeling that you did ALL you could for her.  I am sure whether she tells you or not she is very proud of you and gratefull for all you do.    Cricket

[Carolina]

Dearest Lighthouse:

Amen to everyone.

Still, it is more than you should have to bear.

However, life isn't fair.   

Is it?

Hugs

Elaine

[lighthouse33]

Thank you everyone for your caring and well thoughout responses.  To have people who understand makes one feel not so alone.  Believe it or not posting here has really helped me. 

The interventional radiologist agreed to do the surgery but with no guarantee of success because her vertebrae was so severely fractured.  But the procedure went well, almost textbook in fact.  He said that the vertebrae was really crushed bad.  Said it would be another 12 to 24 hours to see if she is going to be pain free.  She is highly medicated right now. 

The next question will be is if she is going to follow the post op instructions.  Dad will get the instructions and we will see how it goes.

[lighthouse33]

The second question, is what they are going to do about the osteoporosis and who is going to handle the treatment, the oncologist?

According to a book I'm reading about osteoporosis and various studies, the problem with the bone drugs i.e. Fosomax, Boniva, Actonel, Reclast etc.  is that the harden the outer part of the bone so that you get good bone density results.  But the inside of the bone is still brittle and weak and that is why people are fracturing their pelvis, hips, femurs etc.  Plus all of those drugs have horrible side effects such as necorosis of the jaw. 

As far as calcium and Vitamin D are concerned, I don't know with the bypass they did to her colon because of her tumor will let her absorb them.

I will just set back and wait and see.  Did however explain to dad about the bone drugs and mom alaready knows about that.  But whatever decision they make is theirs and the doctors I'm keepiing my lips zipped.