Mom

[Carolina]

Dearest Lighthouse,

I always read your updates.

It sounds like, as always, your Mom knows her own mind.

And your Dad is agreeing with her.

Follow their lead, hard as that is.

You are a very very good daughter.   amazing.

Hugs

Elaine

[lighthouse33]

I opened my bedroom door this morning and heard no noise from the oxygen concentrator.  Found a note at the breakfast table stating that they had gone to the ER.

Rad the nurse's notes and she indicated that mom's body is full of fluid, she could hear it sloshing around.  Looks like they left shortly after 7 AM.  I'm glad the nurse is with them, she is such a fun person.

Awaiting any update.  I would call their cells but I bet they are turned off plus they probably don't know anything yet anyway.

[lighthouse33]

Dad returned at 11 AM.  The ER doc thinks that mom has pneumonia, although it didn't show up on the chest x-ray.  She is going to have a CAT Scan.  They are admitting her to the hospital.

[genko_b]

We will keep all of you in our prayers.

Take care,

Genko

[Carolina]

Angel Lighthouse,

Having your Mom in the hospital must be some relief.

We are all with you.

Hugs

Elaine

[Carebear]

Lighthouse,

As always, you and your family are in my thoughts.  Take care, friend.

[lighthouse33]

Mom has some nodules in her lungs that have been there for awhile but now they have grown.  The doctor wanted to do a lung scan but after mom found out the test would last an hour she refused to take it.  She is allergic to the CAT Scan dye which would be their next option - a CAT Scan with contrast.  The doctor said there is a workaround treatment that will take one and a half days so that she can have the CAT Scan which is a shorter test.

The doc also asked if mom was seeing a pulmonologist?  Dad said he didn't think so.  I had said something to her some time ago about seeing seeing one and she just laughed and said she didn't need to see anymore doctors. 

She is getting breathing treatments.  They put a mask on her and the medicine comes out of the wall into the mask and she breathes it in to her lungs.  It's like a humidifer.

Also found out that her pulse was 170 the night before she went to the hospital. 

[Carolina]

OH dearest Lighthouse,

I think most of us have a slight idea about your Mom's feeling that she doesn't want any more doctors!

Do you know what the nodules are?

Growing doesn't sound great, for sure.

Did she really laugh?  Well, probably a bit sadly no doubt, but she seems to have a sense of control through all this.

I just made myself smile, Lighthouse, since your Mom has always had a sense of control!

A pulse of 170 would feel like my heart were trying to escape or break the sound barrier or something!

Hang on dear lady.   You are earning "jewels in your crown in heaven" as one of my elderly friends used to say!

Hugs

Elaine

[lighthouse33]

Carolina,

Maybe laugh isn't the right word, maybe it should have read "scoffed."

Mom would not cooperate with the pulmonary doctor in the hospital (she didn't like him) so they had to call in her oncologist who talked her into having the lung scan.  The young man running the test held her hand throughout the whole thing and they let her use her oxygen.

The nodules are from the emphysema.  I guess the consensus is now that she has emphysema not COPD.  They changed her medication - put her on Advair and gave her a course of prednisone.  The doc said this should be a one time deal with the breathing issue but if it happens again he will put in an order for a nebulizer that she can use at home for breathing treatments.

She came home Tuesday afternoon.

[lighthouse33]

Mom had an allergic reaction to the Advair.  She has been very sick.  I don't know what will be done about her breathing.  Her back is no better. 

She is now mostly taking her hostility out on my dad.  Poor guy. She now yells at me about him. She needs to get measured for a new compression stocking to help with the swelling in her leg (lymphoedema). 

[Carolina]

Angel Lighthouse,

You have to let this go, let them all whirl.

Hang in there angel, there are NO directions for this hard part of life.

Our thoughts and our hearts are with you.

Hugs and love

Elaine

[lighthouse33]

I'm going to close this thread.  Will post back later when mom passes away, whether it be next month or five years from now.

Death by emphesyema is slow and painful.  I urge all of the smokers out there to quit if not to spare themselves, to spare their families from going through it.  I will never forgive mom for the abusive behavoir she has put us through when she knows better.  She never is abusive to the nurse.  I believe that she  has always hated dad and I.  The only way that she was able to live with us in a kind way was to smoke, now that she doesn't she's let it all hang out.

[Parched]

My heart goes out to you.   It is very hard caring for an ill parent, then add in their abusive behavior and being ill ourselves.  My father lives with me and has many health problems including emphysema, he even continues to smoke.  We repeatedly tell him not to smoke in our home but he still continues to do so..

My husband and I are agonizing over putting him in a nursing home.  It is not an easy decision but its getting harder to care for him with my health problems and his.

I pray that you get some peace and life gets easier for you.

I've never posted on your thread until now.  I just wanted you to know I can empathize with you and you have been in my prayers.

Take care of you!!!

[Carebear]

Dear Lighthouse,

You and your dad do not deserve to be treated with such disrespect.  I hope you know how special you are to all of us.  Please try to remember that.

[irish]

Lighthouse, YOu have a full plate on your hands girl. Please know that I am thinking of you.

I want you to think about something also. When I read all this that has been going on I wondered if at anytime you have been able to confront your mom. My sister and I went through this with my dad. For some reason in the last couple of months before he died he started being mean to my sister. It was totally out of character for him but I just got so I couldn't put up with it anymore.

I ended up calling him and telling him that the way he was acting was causing bad feelings and felt that he should change his ways. I told him he was welcome to come out and visit only if he would be civil. I told him that if he could not be civil to both me and my sister and her family that we would just have to cut off visiting.

I told him we would be there for him when he was sick and if he needed help, but we just couldn't take the stress anymore. He clammed up and behaved himself. Almost like a little kid that needed to have stakes set in the sand. What I am trying to say is that sometimes people act like "crap" and they know it but they seem like they are unable to control themselves.

I think that they need someone to "set the stakes" cause that is the only way that they know that people do love and care about them. Just a thought and I don't know if I said it clear enough to be understood. The acting out sort of goes with the territory when people are sick and unhappy. KNow that I will be thinking of you and please take care of yourself. Irish