Mom

[lighthouse33]

My mom is due to come home this morning.  They will be sending oxygen home with her.  I'm really happy about this.  She is having so much trouble breathing.  They have been trying to find a pain medication for her fractured back. 

The nurse took my dad to the emergency room this morning.  He has been in pain and nassaueted since he came home.  She said the ER doctor pushed on his left stomach and back and dad yelled out in pain.  They have given him morphine and something for the nasaue, done x-rays etc.  Hopefully, they will get to the bottom of it. 

They told the nurse at the hospital that she saved mom's life by bringing her to the ER.  They also told her that if this happens a second time (her not eating and drinking) that they will install a feeding tube. 

[Carolina]

Thanks for the update, Lighthouse.

I have all of those things, too!  Onset about 2.5 years ago, but STILL sero normal for Sjogren's and ALL auto immune conditions!

Amazing, isn't it?  Also SICCA and Interstitial Cystitis are in my bag of goodies.

AND Progressive nerve deafness, and two episodes of my small intestines just shutting down for business causing great agony (and one three day hospitalization) while we waited to see if my small intestines would start working again or I would have to have emergency surgery.

Sooo, I have all the bells and whistles, but no grand prize of diagnosis.

Some days the cramps are the most exciting thing that happens to me!

But no noticeable tremors, so far.

Hang on angel.............it has been a bumpy ride for sure.

Hugs

Elaine

PS I just read your last update on your father.  You are on the fast track to insanity darling Lighthouse.    Or is it a revolving door in Hades?

Just hang on and keep breathing.  THANK GOODNESS you got the nurse.

HUGS!

Elaine

[Carebear]

Hi Lighthouse,

Thank goodness for the nurse, for sure!  And for so many reasons.  It sounds like she has your mom and dad's medical care under control.  Great that the two of you can share a laugh, especially with all the stress you are dealing with.

Thanks for sharing.  Take care of yourself.

[lighthouse33]

The doctor told my dad that he thinks it is may be the gallbladder.  And dad said something about gallstones.  So whether he had gallstones in the past or they found them today, I don't know.  He is waiting to be taken for an ultrasound. 

If he has to have surgery it will be his 11th since 2009.  Yikes! 

Will post back when I know more.

[lighthouse33]

They found nothing wrong at the hospital.  They did change his pain medication.  The nurse told our nurse that she's sure stress is playing a part in this.  Stress always makes pain worse.  I can't take away his stress, I'm overwhelmed with my own.

[Carolina]

Dearest Lighthouse,

Just wondering how you're holding up.

I'm assuming no news is at least NOT bad news.

Are you getting a little break from the hospital-go-round?

Hugs

Elaine

[lighthouse33]

Carolina,

Here I sit, waiting on another phone call.  Dad took mom to see her oncologist, he didn't like how her leg looked and was unhappy with the treatment done at the hospital, so she is at the Outpatient Center getting an ultrasound to see if she has a blood clot.

Mom will not do anything anyone tells her to do.  Will not elevate her leg, will not rest, keeps standing on it etc.

One of the highlights of the week was mom falling on her head while trying to straighten a rug.  Dad was so mad!  He said after all we've been through, you need to stop being so anal about the rugs.  You need some pills.  I chimed in with antidepressants or anti-anxiety medication and she needs to relax.  Knowing her, she wouldn't take it anyway.

[lighthouse33]

As far as dad, the doctors are trying to decide what to do.  Some want him to have the carotid artery surgery.  Others say that if he has had a stroke that he is not a candidate for the surgery.  Guess we will know if he has had a stroke after the results come in from the CAT Scan of the head he had done this week. 

[Carebear]

lighthouse,

That mom of yours would make me laugh out loud if her situation were not so serious.  She's stubborn beyond belief.   

How are you managing?  It sounds like you are trying to take everything in stride.  Take care of yourself.

[lighthouse33]

I am doing so much better since we have the nurse.  She has alleviated so much stress.  She's funny, very nice and keeps thing buzzing.  We have laughed so much while out running errands.

Mom's test for the blood clot yesterday was negative.  And dad told me that the cancer doctor gave them great news, her tumor is gone.  The chemo and radiation worked!

But, she fell again in the bathroom last night at 4 AM.  The Home Health Nurse was here this morning and she said mom should go to the ER and be evaluated by a doctor.  She refused to eat and drink.  The nurse said she needs protein for her COPD and fluids for her kidney problem.  Mom was not happy to be going back again.  And how many times was this going to happen.  Our nurse told me that this would continue to happen over and over if she doesn't eat and drink.

I wonder if the hospital will install a feeding tube?  That's what they said they would do if she came in there in bad shape again.

[lighthouse33]

Mom was not hospitalized after her last fall but she does have cracked ribs.  Doctor said it would take from six to eight weeks for those to heal. 

Her blood tests that she had drawn with her regular doctor show renal failure (abnormal BUN and Creatin) from not eating and drinking.  Her lipids were also abnormal and she is at high risk for a stroke. 

She has lost four pounds in four days and now weighs 117.  If things do not improve, they will install a feeding tube. 

We hired another nurse to work another shift.  She is not happy about this.  She told the nurse that dad and I are lazy and that we could take care of her but don't want to. 

I think that she is dying.

[A66eyroad]

Lighthouse, your story brings tears to my eyes every time I re-read it. I'm so sorry you're going through all this.

As I read your posts, the thing that jumps out at me over and over is the kindness and love you feel toward your parents. The fact that you called this whole thread "Mom" speaks volumes.

You are NOT lazy, and you're not unkind. You're doing the very best you can. You can't expect more than that from yourself.

Keep talking to us, we're here for you.

[Carolina]

Dearest Lighthouse,

I do not want to presume to advise you.

Refusing to eat and drink is a common occurrence for people who are older and seriously ill.

Here is a website on the topic:

http://www.lifenews.com/2003/07/23/bio-17/

Boston, MA (LifeNews.com) — A study published in Thursday's issue of the New England Journal of Medicine says some terminally ill hospice patients who wish to hasten their deaths forgo food and water.

Lighthouse, please think about installing a feeding tube.  ASK your mother what she wants.  Does she understand that she will not live if she refuses to eat and drink?   Does she want a feeding tube?

This is very hard, no doubt.

And none of my business.

I wish you only the very very best.

I apologize if this is offensive to you.  You know what's best of course.

Hugs

Elaine

[Carebear]

Dear lighthouse,

It is the hardest thing to watch your parent suffer.   Your caring and love for your mom is evident.  This must be breaking your heart.

As Elaine said, I can't presume to advise you.  Only know that I care about you.   

[lighthouse33]

Carolina,

Thank you for the link to the website.  It has come to my mind that maybe she is not eating on purpose.  Now, she is saying that it hurts her stomach when she eats.  She also usually vomits afterwards.  Mom is now down to 114.  Another three pounds lost in two days.

She will see her oncologist tomorrow.  When she saw her GP on Monday, a feeding tube was discussed.  I think she understands that a feeding tube will be installed.  The Home Health RN told us that some people do well with a feeding tube and some do not.  They would rather she eat and drink on her own.  The bariatric surgery would have to do the procedure.  I suspect this is what will happen.  Our one nurse told me that mom will have the right to reject the feeding tube and that some patients will pull them out of their stomach.