My aunt

[lighthouse33]

My aunt passed away this moring.  She died a needless, painful death.  I blame this on her husband,  This is her second husband, not my uncle.  Two or three months back, she was told that she had five tumors in her liver from the reoccurence of breast cancer.  This is after it had already spread to her lungs.  Her husband up until a few weeks ago was still taking her to get chemo.  In my opinion, hosipice should have been called in a couple of months ago so that she couldn't have been comfortable and they could have managed her pain. 

Aunt is in hospital with a broken nose from a fall because husband is trying to care for her and can't.  Fastforward to ten days ago, husband gets into it with her doctor and makes him mad.  Is told that the cancer has spread to her brain and that there is nothing more they can do for her.  She has two days to two weeks.  Husband refuses to hear it.  One of her sisters and the hospital call in hospice.  Husband does not want hospice.  Won't let hospice bring in hospital bed to the home.

Because of the arguement with the doctor, the County Health Nurse is called in and visits the home.  Tells husband that she and hospice are in charge.  Next day, aunt is transferred to a Hospice Facility.  My aunt is treally suffering, screaming for her sisters, attempting to tear her clothes off.  Hospice wants to give her morphine, husband says no.  Morphine finally given yesterday and she dies this morning.

[lighthouse33]

I am just heartbroken and sick about this.  I know everyone grieves differently but come on.  He must have thought that hospice still had the old reputation of coming in and killing people but that is so untrue.  A guy up the street had lung cancer and hospice came in and spent the last two or three months with him, making him comfortable.  We always give to hospice when someone passes away.  They are a great organization. 

[Carebear]

Oh, lighthouse.  I am so very sorry to hear how your aunt was treated.  I even can't imagine how you and your family must be feeling.  Please know that you are in my thoughts.  I hope you can find some comfort with your family.  Take care.

[Bucky]

Lighthouse - my sympathy to you and your family on the loss of your dear aunt.

Hugs,
Bucky

[Meld256]

Lighthouse,

I am so sorry to hear the way you aunt passed away.  You're right; it was needless the way she ended her days.
I can understand you being so upset with her husband.  I think sometimes a loved one is in so much denial, they just can't see how the patient can be given a loving, respectful ease into their last days.

We almost had this happen with my father-in-law. His lung cancer metathesized to his brain and further and he took more chemo than he wanted because my mother-in-law kept hope he would survive. He was in the hospital for 10 days, very weak, and tried to talk to his wife about the end, but she wouldn't listen. We tried, but to no avail.  So sad and frustrating. Thank goodness, he told his daughter he wanted to go home. They finally got hospice, and he passed 2 days later peacefully at home with family.

I agree. There are still those out there who have a wrong impression of hospice. They do wonderful work, managing pain, comforting the patient and family, and are there for you every step of the way. We brought in hospice the next year for my mother and I will never forget their kindness and compassion.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your aunt.  My thoughts and prayers are with you. 

Melinda

[Cricket]

Lighthouse

        My sympathy to you and your family.

Cricket

[Scottietottie]

Lighthouse

Condolences on the loss of your Aunt. The circumstances must make the loss even more acute. Thinking about you.

Take care - Scottie

[Meld256]

Lighthouse,

My continued thoughts and prayers are coming your way. You have many friends here thinking of you and your family.
Take care,
Melinda