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Happy Birthday, Dad

Started by Carebear, April 08, 2011, 09:05:35 AM

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Carebear

April 08, 2011, 09:05:35 AM
My Dad passed away just after Christmas, and tomorrow is his birthday.  I have no way to give him his card, so I just wanted to say "Happy Birthday, Dad!  I love you and I miss you so much!"
Sjogren's syndrome, RA,  Raynaud's phenomenon, Celiac Disease, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Grave's Disease, Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, Osteopenia, Cervical Stenosis

Gabapentin, Methotrexate, Synthroid, Dexilant, Domperidone, Metronidazole, Pennsaid, folic acid.

Bucky

#1
April 08, 2011, 11:42:51 AM
(((Carebear))) - sending you gentle hugs as you are experiencing your "first" birthday for your Dad.  The whole first year after someones dies is very hard.  There will be a lot of celebrations that you used to share - and now, they will be different.

I don't know if you live anywhere close to where your Dad lived - but, if your Dad had some shirts or ties or something that you can make into a memory quilt.  That way, a part of your Dad is with you - something you can see and remember him wearing that shirt, tie. etc.

I live in another state 480 miles away from my family.  When my Mom passed away in 2006, I brought back bags of her clothes and had a lady make them into memory quilts.  My Dad and brothers and myself all have one.  I have mine displayed in the living room on a quilt rack with my Mom's picture.

Tomorrow as you will be sad that you can't call your Dad and wish him a happy birthday - I hope you will be able to remember the happier times too.  Cherish those memories.

Hugs,
Bucky


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dbab

#2
April 08, 2011, 12:11:04 PM
Hugs Carebear ... I'm so sorry, I can't imagine the pain you are feeling.  Birthdays are for celebrating, so as Bucky says, celebrate the wonderful times... bet he would like that.  :)

Carebear

#3
April 08, 2011, 12:38:03 PM Last Edit: April 08, 2011, 12:40:47 PM by Carebear
Bucky and dbab, thank you for your kindness.  I love the idea of the memory quilt.

I was very fortunate that Dad and I lived in the same city.  And in the last 18 months of his life I saw him every day, whether he was in the hospital or at the nursing home, because I wanted to make sure I had plenty of good memories.

We will be going out tonight to celebrate his life.  I will order steak; his favourite.
Sjogren's syndrome, RA,  Raynaud's phenomenon, Celiac Disease, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Grave's Disease, Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, Osteopenia, Cervical Stenosis

Gabapentin, Methotrexate, Synthroid, Dexilant, Domperidone, Metronidazole, Pennsaid, folic acid.

Ohiocat

#4
April 08, 2011, 02:03:41 PM
You could also get a balloon and let it float up with your wishes.

and in the meantime.....
HUGS
female 50+, no thyroid - levthyroxin 125mcg; Primary Sjogrens:  Dry mouth; Dry eyes-thera tears, Restasis twice daily;

Scottietottie

#5
April 08, 2011, 05:10:10 PM
Awwww Carebear. The first year is always the hardest. Every anniversary that comes up hurts. It does get easier. Time really does heal eventually. The good memories end up outweighing the bad.  It won't seem like that right now though.

Take care - Scottie  :)
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CAT1962

#6
April 08, 2011, 08:29:48 PM
WELL! Then, Happy Birthday, Dad! :) (Carebear's dad, I mean!)


My dad's BD was the other day. Maybe they're hangin' out. :)

Big Hugs, CareBear!

CAT

Carebear

#7
April 08, 2011, 08:33:30 PM
Thanks, CAT.  If I know my Dad, he's partying up a storm right now!

And happy belated birthday to your dad!
Sjogren's syndrome, RA,  Raynaud's phenomenon, Celiac Disease, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Grave's Disease, Fibromyalgia, Osteoarthritis, Osteopenia, Cervical Stenosis

Gabapentin, Methotrexate, Synthroid, Dexilant, Domperidone, Metronidazole, Pennsaid, folic acid.

Cricket

#8
April 10, 2011, 09:38:29 PM
Carebear

Wish I read this earlier, after my dad passed I didn't want his great-grandchildren to forget so I got a hellium ballson for each oof the and they made birthday cards the older ones wrote what was in their hearts and we went to the cemetery and sent them to heaven.  We watched them until we could no longer see them, for myself it was a very healing thing to do.  I must admit someday I have a lot on my mind write dad a note and send it off.

Hope this would help you, sorry about your dad.
Female 64 yrs. old with:~Lymphoma ~SJS~, Fibro, Neuropathy, Spinal  Stenosis, Degenerative Discs, Shingles Arthritis, Hypo-thyroid.
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lynnmarie219

#9
April 11, 2011, 04:40:55 PM
(((((Carebear))))) I'm sorry for your loss and do understand how hard the first year is. My dad passed last June...so Christmas was difficult as was his birthday in January. As the others have already said....it's good to focus on the good times and happier memories...but it's also ok to let yourself feel what you need to as losing a parent is something I have no words to explain...and the feelings just come and go very unexpectedly some times.

Take care and let yourself get through it as you need to....

Cricket...what a beautiful thing for you to do with your grandchildren to honor your dad's birthday.
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