Moving My In-Laws--HELP!

[meow]

My in-laws are no longer able to deal with stairs and a pool, so they are moving. WE are doing the moving, since the new house is very near their old house, and they are 80.  They have 45 years' worth of accumulated stuff . So we have the brothers and grandsons all doing it this weekend.

I am trying desperately to manage this without starting up a flare. Other than making sure I get enough sleep, does anyone have any suggestions? What do you do when you KNOW you are going to face a big physical and mental stress?

Oh, and the next  good part is, we will probably move into their old house---which means selling ours, and of course moving. I'm ignoring that right now, it's too overwhelming. I'm just trying to get through the next couple of weeks.

Ideas welcome!

[Liz D.]

meow,

Xanax, xanax and more xanax!   I had to move my in-laws a number of years ago and I almost had a physical and nervous breakdown.  It was before I was diagnosed with SJS and didn't know why I was so miserable at the time.  One day of the move, my husband and mother in law sent me home to go to bed because I couldn't stop crying!!!

Just remember we are more fragile than other people.  So do what you can to help, but lay back a bit and let others do most of the work.  I truly think if I had Xanax back then, I would have handled it better.  (Of course, I am a control freak and felt like I had to do everything for them.  I wish I knew then what I know now!)

Liz D.

[warmwaters]

Be sure to tell people ahead of time that there are many things you won't be able to do, like lift heavy objects (and whatever seems sensible based on your personal restrictions). Letting people know ahead of time will help manage expectations.  Think ahead about things you might be able to do: pack small items , drive, sort through documents, make lists of things, or whatever. Remember to take care of yourself.

If this is going to be emotionally stressful, as family things sometimes are, remember to pick and choose your battles.

Cousin Susie's taking an extra glass home from the cupboard? Not really a big thing.  Cousin Joey wants to sort books alphabetically, and you want to sort by topic - unless it makes a difference to whatever the next step is, just let it go.

Pace yourself, bring lots of liquid, take breaks, and plan to stop earlier than you'll be done. Maybe you're the one who runs for pizza, instead of loading the truck.

Best of luck!

[Billydude]

Can't you leave it to others to do this.....or better yet hire some handy man people to do it.   If you are worried about your ability to handle it perhaps you shouldn't be doing it.   Leave it to those who can!

[Joe S.]

Delegate and direct others. Remember that you have Sjs. When we moved we were on a short time line and I had to help. It took a lot out of me even with all the help. Two years later, we still have not unpacked more than just immediate needs.

[meow]

 Good ideas---thank you all!
There will be no truck. It is across the street, basically. The guys have assorted dolleys and hand trucks and straps, so they will do the big furniture. I will be doing (meaning dusting and relocating pictures, books, and the extensive collection (around 100) of antique rugbeaters---and the 100-piece collection of Dickens Village. I have convinced her to sell the biggest ones, numbered limited editions. I have convinced them to trash the 1978 encyclopedias, too.

I already take Welbutrin. Can I take Xanax with that? I'm wondering if my rheumy can just write an RX for a week's worth.

[Carebear]

Hi Meow,

I was going to suggest that this may be a good time for your In-Laws to do some purging.  But I know how difficult that can be for some people.  I just thought it would mean less packing and unpacking for you. 

Get lots of rest before the move.  Plan and prepare your meals ahead of time.  And take lots of small breaks.  I had to move my dad from his apartment a year ago so I have an idea what you are up against.

[Liz D.]

meow,

You could ask your doc for a week's worth of Xanax, but if you have never taken it before, I am afraid it will make you very sleepy and you won't even be able to help with the move.  It may help with sleeping that night if your mind is racing, but the doc would know better what is best.

Liz D.

[meow]

The last thing I need to be is sleepy! I was thinking of a coffee IV---do they make a caffeine patch???

My son has been going by there every day after classes, and helping run stuff across the street that will be going in the attic. He is awesome ))))

As for the purging, my plan is to move everything they want, and offer to keep some of it in storage for them in the current attic. That way, they know it's there if they need it, but we don't have to move it. My FIL is a pack rat--saves every magazine ("They  will be worth money someday") and every piece of crap gadget or cheap tool that comes along. There's so much of that, I'm positive that he has no idea what's there, and won't miss half of it. He is going to visit grandkids for a week in April, and that's when all that stuff is going to be abducted by aliens and sent to a parallel universe.

I'm already in training--extra stretches, extra sleep, extra vitamins.

[Carebear]

Gotta love those aliens!    I think they've been here too!

[Joe S.]

My daughter went through my garage at our old house. Several roll-off bins later she was done. I was upset that some things were gone but not that I did not have to move them. I was glad we had the extra room in our new house and garage. Then we closed Jan's mom's house and my mom died. We are now filled to the gills again.

[One and only]

You have enough help,, why tempt fate,,

[irish]

boy, A person could write a book about this subject. After moving my dad once to an apartment, then having him die about 6 months later and having to clean out the apartment I was done in---long before I was diagnosed.

Then had to move MIL 3 times and then funeral, auction, etc. The last darn near killed me off. The stress is just terrible and I have not got a clue how to tell you to get through it. All I know is that for some reason we seem to be able to call on some inner strength to get through these times.

You just do what you can, use the crock pot a lot and keep the food simple and forget about washing clothes, etc for about a week cause you will just be pooped. This is something that every person on earth has to deal with and it is a learning experience for sure. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Doesn't matter if it is across the street or 100 miles away, it is still hard work. And, don't forget all the times you will help your kids move.

Hey Joe, We ended up with my folks leftovers and took years to get rid of it. Still have some odds and ends in the Butler bin out back and that was 25 years ago. My MIL stuff is pretty much gone now but just about killed me getting rid of it. Oh, come to think of it, I do have some stuff that I keep moving around. A person always thinks that one of the kids or grandkids will use this extra stuff.  Irish

[Patze]

Hi Meow,

I'll second the coffee patch and I don't even drink coffee.

Hang tough and remember to take time out to recoup a bit if you can.

Take care and stay sane -

Patze

[Joe S.]

Irish, I know what you mean. One daughter grabbed what she could the other lived too far away and took nothing. We were asked to hang on to thing for both of them. The close one complains about all the storage things we have. I want to go through things first but it has to be done with my wife's assistance. She just open her first box in two years last month because she got tired of moving it around.