Rage, mad, angry, hostile.........

[Meld256]

season,

I'll repeat again; you're a good cousin.    I know you really worry about her well-being and want to help. Maybe there will be a time again soon where she might be able to listen to you. Depression and anxiety can make some of us very angry and hostile. Dealing with family, our health issues, money, it's a lot to handle.

I hope she'll eventually open up to you or someone else close soon.

[irish]

season, I don't know what to tell you other than you are trying the best you can to help. If she doesn't want help now at least she knows where she can go if she does need it. You can do no more for now.

It is possible that she has something going on in her life that is far removed from the physical illness. I don't know her age, but sometimes there can be mental issues that come from prolonged stress. She could be having a Post Traumatic Stress Disorder type of behavior. Hopefully, someone will pick up on it in the medical system. It is good that you talked to the hubby cause he now knows where to go if he needs some help getting his wife medical attention--or whatever. Good luck. IRish

[nancylee]

i have been come a raving lunitic. I never use to let anything bother me and now I get in a rage and I cant pull out. I say whatever I want. think about that. Thats horrile. I say things like I cant stand to look at your face or listen to your voice for one more second. And this is not to family.. I say horrible thing. this was some of the nicer stuff. In the past I would make my point and never hurt anyone in the process. 

I spoke to my doctor about it and she said that she doesnt think I need medication... said I probably need to spend more time venting; thats its better than zanix. hahahha.

Is this old age or illness? or just mental unbalanced? Better watch the way you respond!!!! ( kidding)

[Joe S.]

Hey, you can vent on this forum. Here is to better health through venting. (And a good bottle of brandy does not hurt).

[tired of it]

seems like a lot of us are ready to have a smackdown

[irish]

nancylee, I think that sometimes anger builds up in us and just spills out all over someone else. It ain't nice and it ain't purty. Probably do us all good to be able to exercise or go for a walk. Just getting out for a little can change out view of the world and our circumstances.

I just read recently that for people like us who are isolated more or less and can't do a lot of socializing, just going out to Walmart and walking around or going in the cart is good for us. Just being close to people and maybe having a conversation with someone in the checkout line, whatever, helps us feel better. We don't always have to go do something with someone else.

I was glad to hear that because I find it physically and emotionally exhausting to go to social situations where you feel that you have to keep up a conversation and look like you are on your toes.Heck, some days I can't find my toes!!! Irish

[Meld256]

tired of it,
Ready for a smackdown? 

irish,
I've found lately that if I get out every couple of days to do "whatever", it helps me. Stop at the grocery for a couple things, get gas in the car, etc.  I'm close to stores and such, but I'll drive the long way around just to be out!  About every other day seems to do it.  And yes, many days I'm not up to a full conversation, but a little small talk and a friendly store clerk can be really helpful.  Makes me feel a little more like I'm out in the world. 

Reminds me of something our daughter told us. She worked in a convenience store for a while and there were a few older customers who came in almost every day. She'd ask them about their day, their spouse, their dogs and cats, and carry out their gallon of milk or whatever for them to the car if they needed. She enjoyed talking with them, and I'm sure they appreciated her. (She's a good kid)

nancylee,
You vent here and let it out anytime you need to! We all need to do that sometimes, ok?

[nancylee]

I have an advantage over some of you. Your illness is silent. You have joint pain, you have skin, eyes, lungs, mouth issues. You have fatigue and you silently  battle this thing that no one understands and really cares about. Heck.. half the time I cant pronounce Sjogrens and the doctors have to correct me. I cant pronounce Raynounds. Imagion telling someone some medicl issue you have and cant even pronounce it!!
Sjogrens has almost killed me. seriously killed me and all my doctors are as serious that they want to get this under contraol or I am sure I will die soon. SO, when I have my rages ( my advantages over you)  everyone just poo-poos me and says its because I am sick and frusrtrated and let the sick girl have her tamtrom!!! Do you have any idea how angry I get at that. I dont want anyone to tread softly around me. I want to fight! I THINK my mind is still sharp ( they say we're the last to know)
I still work. I am fortunate to be able to come and go as I please. The boss has intructed everyone to make sure nothing upsets me!!!!!!! hahahahahahha!!! THAT UPSETS ME! all I do is work and go home. I feel like I won the New York Marathon when i can grocery shop ALONE. My life has changed so much. I have spent the last year appoligizing to my friends for being absent and to PLEASE not stop asking me to go places and do things. When we have a girls night out, they all go someplace EARLY so they can get a seat for me! How messed up is THAT! Its horifying. I have become the old woman of our group. ( I am NOT that old 55 and until this sick stuff; I think HOT as heck! ( for an old lady!)
So, my rages. I guess I do need to control them because everyone is just trying to appease me. I will vent to you. And feel free to tell me off any time you want. I am fine with that. I would be fine with people treating me like the crazy Bitch I am becoming!
I mentioned to you a few days ago that I started Chemo on Monday. Last ditch effect to stop this horrible Sjogrens. I havnt told any of my friends. I cant take any more niceness!!!
Nancy

[season]

Thanks everyone for your contribution on how to deal with rage, anger etc....... Like my cousin, it sounds like most of us are dealing with so much that it is overwhelming. When we have no power or control over this illness and other issues I suppose the anger does show itself.

Don't even mention 'Frustration". We could all be a posture child for frustration.

[flutterfly]

season~u know what my doc said 'bout MY RAGE???

yes i asked 'cause i don't like it either!!! (my poor hubbs & family!)

but she said that well hon...UR JUST ~FED UP~ & once i got my ^ailments^ addressed it would ~work itself out~!!!

u shoulda seen HUBBS FACE!!!    i could just hear him sayin'...but what 'bout 'til then!!!

i'm sorry dear!!! if it makes ya feel any better...my sissy worries 'bout me...just like u do 'bout ur cousin!!!

i WILL say...i KNOW ur cousin...doesn't like it either...she just don't know how or have the tools ta STOP IT!!! 

even when i'm uber ragin'...i STILL LUV THE PEEPS I'M RAGIN' @!!!
it's just the way the turmoil in my soul cums rushin' out nowadays!!!

~*flutterfly...realized THEN that even docs don't know how ta fix or address rage issues!!!*~

[dainbramage]

Hey my husband thinks I am PMSing if I am raging...hahaha
nancylee-----rage on girlfriend
I know there is steps for grieving is there steps for raging?
1. Heart rate increases, blood pressure increases, mouth shut in a tight thin line, nose flaring, using short answers to questions
2. Eye rolling more often, grunt answers, softly call people names under your breath, do things to make other people angry so they will start something with you
3. Short loud answers that causes people to stop and look at you, throwing things, can't be nice to anyone or anything
4. One person says one thing and That's it your done full blown rage

[nancylee]

Are you in my house? Are you watching me.( looking around) hahahahhaha!!!! that is so funny. I like the one about softly calling people names under my breath. I do that all day long. I cant tell you on a public board what my favorite 3 words. Three little word that seem to encompass everyone when i am raging..

[dainbramage]

Oh Nancylee,
You and me babe
I will probably add more to it later... or you can.
I am trying to remember the ways I get to RAGE
Too be serious...I had too much anger for a while there, I called my doctor, I felt overwhelmed and I started getting scared. I worried about my children, I was too angry and I was yelling...My doctor asked me if I was endangering my children. NO, but I needed help...he gave me drugs just for a while and it helped. But I am off of it now because I was then diagnosed finally...
Nancylee...my husband and I are at each other throats right now so once again my household feels out of sync, right now I am at #2 hahahaha
XOXO shonda