complain, complain complain

[gsmraxe]

I've come here just to complain today.  Hope you don't mind.   

I'm on week 3 of my radiation and the side of my face is burned.  Luckily, the left side of my head is still numb, so I don't feel the burn. 

My mouth is really dry.  Between the radiation my now missing my left salivary gland, and SJS it's D.R.Y.  Sensitive as all heck too.  Oh and water tastes like metal, but my food tastes like cardboard.  Taste buds are fading.

I keep getting migraines from my dry sinuses.  Cause guess what...Radiation also dries out the sinuses too.  So I'm back on the bottle.  (NeilMed sinus rinse that is).

I'm going through fits of depression.  My Medullary cancer isn't gone after this last surgery and never will be.  Not only that, but my Endo said that they found a uterine fibroid when they did the Pet/CT scan.  Oh joy, what next?  My salivary gland cancer, I'll never know how that's doing until another tumor pops up.  There's no test for it.

I also read that I'll be forever going to the Radiation oncologist, the ENT and the Endo.  And, now I have to find a GYN for the fibroid.  I think they should all adopt me as their daughter.  I seem to spend more time with them than my own Mother.

Oh yeah, and my left eye still doesn't close all the way, so it gets really puffy from being dried out.  I can't tape it closed now because I have to slather loads of cream on my face for the burn. 

I split up the complaints so their easier to read.  You want to get the full impact of my whining.     I know you guys can feel my pain...which is why I posted this here.   

Thanks!

[harrigan]

Hello gsm - I was thinking about you and wondering how you are getting on.  Never need to worry about complaining on here. especially as you have so much going on. 

I wish I could think of some ways to make you feel more comfortable and get a bit of enjoyment back.  Metal water and cardboard food sounds horrible. Sending you lots of healing thoughts and hoping you have people waiting on you at home and ready to do whatever you need to cosset you through this tough time XX Ailsa

[Dolly Dimples]

Dear gsmraxe,

   Reading this thread, I certainly do feel your pain.

  Iv'e been feeling quite down all this Winter, but your words  tonight puts that into perspection!
   
I too suffer with dryness , and cannot imagine that, along  with your complaint's on top of it..
 
               Wish there was something I could add to ease your depression, but as you know you will get lot's of good wishes and prayers here.

                I pray that all you are going through will produce the best results in the end..
                                       my sincere best wishes., Dolly
                                                   
   

[meow]

Dear gsmraxe,

   Reading this thread, I certainly do feel your pain.

  Iv'e been feeling quite down all this Winter, but your words  tonight puts that into perspection!
   
I too suffer with dryness , and cannot imagine that, along  with your complaint's on top of it..
 
               Wish there was something I could add to ease your depression, but as you know you will get lot's of good wishes and prayers here.

                I pray that all you are going through will produce the best results in the end..
                                       my sincere best wishes., Dolly
                                                   
   

Well, Dolly said it all. 

[susanep]

I said a prayer for you. I pray God lifts your spirits and eases your pain. You are going through so much. God must be using and preparing you for something very special. Take care, and no you are not complaining, you are sharing.

susanep

[Bernice]

Oh my! You are going through much, but I trust that it will get better for you soon. Just keep the faith!

Peace & Be Blessed!
Bernice

[navydad]

Hang in there kiddo,, its a long row to hoe, but you;ll do it

[eyeamdry]

gsmaxe, you have my sympathy.  I do feel your pain.  Six months after my SJS diagnosis, I was found to have breast cancer.  I had surgery and radiation.
That was 3 years ago and I think I am still without energy every day because of the radiation.  

Also I just had a "scare" on the cancer.  I had bleeding and was found to have a cyst on my ovary.  I'm way postmenopausal and the bleeding was a big red flag (sorry about the little joke) to me.  So, now I am "watching" the cyst and getting ultrasounded every few months to see if it growsn.  I want the dang thing out.  They are sure it isn't cancer.  Yeah, sure.  You have to listen to every ache and pain after you've had cancer because it can come up again anywhere.  
to make it worse, I just lost my sister to colon cancer in September.

But, we will persevere and do what we can and must to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  We are all pulling for you.  Lucy

[Scottietottie]

Hi gsmaxe 

I'm truly sorry you're having such a lousy time. I think having depressive episodes with what you're going through is not unusual. Just out of interest - why do you need to do anything about the fibroid? I thought they could be left alone unless they caused discomfort or bled.

The D R Y must be awful and so must the metallic taste.

Good luck with the fight. Everyone in here is right behind you.

Take care - Scottie 

[Epson]

gsmaxe,

I was wondering when we would hear from you again, I only wish you were done with all of this and had it all behind you.  I know first hand, cancer sucks.  It took me about a year to really start feeling better and it seemed like there was no light at the end of the tunnel, but there is.

Feel free to unload anytime your under the dark cloud and know that everyone is pulling for you and wish you a speedy recovery.

[Patze]

Oh my gsmaxe, I'm so sorry that you're feeling so miserable!  I sure hope that this mess ends for you soon, and that you feel better as fast as absolutely possible.  Sending you lots of gentle Patze hugs my friend...

Take extra special care of yourself, okay?  And don't forget to keep us updated now!

Patze

[amberjolie1]

I haven't had to go through what you are going through, but my thoughts are with you.  I'm terribly sorry you have to go through all this, and I certainly don't think anyone objects to you sharing your challenges with us.  

[louise]

           I am sorry to hear about all you are going threw. Life can seem really unfair until you hear what someone else is having to experience. This is one of those times for me. I know in my own life making it threw  those tuff situations changes you and makes you stronger. It is hard too find any good in such a horrible time in your life .Remember if you can over come this you can conquer anything life will throw your way . Take care of you and keep fighting. I will keep you in my prayers. If you can't complain and vent now ? I just think you need to get it out of you. I'm so thankful for  this discussion board it is great too think their are actually people who know what I'm living with.

[Chickpea]

You are entitled to complain.  This sounds really dreadful and I can't understand how anyone could endure it and not be depressed!

I'm so glad you came here and told us how you're feeling.  Like the others, I'd been worried about you but didn't want to bother you with a PM.  What have you found that helps at the lowest times?  Some days none of my usual tricks work - lovely music, conversation, poetry, looking at the trees - and the oddest things come to mind.  A few weeks ago a nurse advised me to 'dig deep' to find the strength to face the side effects of Cytoxan infusions.  I'm sure it was just a throwaway remark but it made all the difference to me.  When things are tough, especially in the middle of the night, I 'dig deep'!

Thinking of you - Chickpea

[harrigan]

Chickpea, GSM and everyone else who is having to 'dig deep' at present - just wanted to say I wish we were nearer each other and could take a hand at the spade at times to give you a break.  Digging is hard work and when we have to dig deep into our emotional reserves and physical resources, it can seem a lonely job.

Wishing you better days soon and peace and comfort in the night times.  Much love XX Ailsa