Laughter is the best medicine . . .

[Carolina]

Jimmy Buffett says it best:

It's those changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes
Nothing remains quite the same
With all of our running, and all of our cunning
If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane

Carolina

[Prairie Gal]

Even if you've heard/seen this one before, I think you'll still laugh!

Prairie gal
-----------------------------------------------------

If you are a senior you will understand this one, if you deal with seniors this should help you understand them a little better, and if you are not a senior yet...God willing, someday you will be...

The $2.99 Special

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.

'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'

'Then, I'll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.

'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.

'YES!!' stated the waitress.

'I'll take the special then,' my wife said.

'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.

'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake. 

DON'T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!
We've been around the block more than once!

[Joy Cox]

Prairie Gal , You brought laughter to me this morning!!!! Good deed...I needed it! Now if the 'fog' inside my head and the 'outside' fog will clear, I'm off to...OG, 1st was Respicare...what was 2nd? oh, get my hair cut.  

1. Respicare; 2. Haircut; got it...now repeat 10 times!!!!

MODIFIED: OOPS, WRONG DAY FOR HAIR CUT THE STYLIST SAID WHEN I GOT THERE!  Well at least did not miss appt, its Friday, not today.  Oh well, no harm done!!!!

[Bucky]

"Where is my Sunday paper?" the irate customer calling the local newspaper's customer service center loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Ma'am," said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday, the Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday."

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone followed by a ray of recognition, as the caller was heard to mutter, "well, that explains why no one was at church today!"

[Scottietottie]

As you all know - air travel has been really disrupted recently due to the volcano in Iceland.

A passenger at London, Heathrow, was informed that all flights to the US were cancelled. No planes would be flying that day.

"Does that include business class?" the woman demanded.........

(Dunno if she was blond)

[Bucky]

Ok - I'm just going to tell on myself . . . I'm such a dork!!   

We have those type of cell phones where you add minutes versus being in a calling plan.  So, last night I'm adding 60 minutes to my husbands phone . . . enter the code off the store receipt, plus a bonus code we had for an additional 20 minutes.  The message on the phone says to leave your phone on to activate new minutes.  A little later, I check the phone and see there is a message to call them, as there is a problem with the transaction.     I give the phone to hubby and tell HIM to call them, I hate talking to those people.  He calls, talks to them and the person on the other end says, allow 4 hrs. and try calling back again.   

He waits 5 minutes, and tries again.  LOL  He gets a different person and explains the whole situation (AGAIN) . . . . the person on the other end says there appears to be a problem with the code entered.     Hubby looks at the receipt and says "Babe, they must have not entered the code at the store because this receipt is only for 50 cents, and the card runs $19.99!" . . . . WHAT??  Upon further investigation, we find that I entered the code they have on the bottom of the receipt (from the store I bought the card from) in a box titled "We value your opinion!", (where if you call a number and enter this code number, and take a short survey about your shopping experience) you can win money. 

DUH . . . I entered the wrong code - I entered this number instead of the phone card number - in fact, I had the wrong receipt out all together!!       OOPS!!   

I then found the correct receipt, entered the CORRECT code number, plus bonus number and the minutes were added to the phone immediately. 

At least it had a happy ending and we had a good laugh!!     (I'm sure the person on the other end of the phone thought we were loony!!)

Bucky

[Katybarstool]

Bucky

What are you like!!! It's wonderful to know someone as daft as me. I went to the grocery store this morning, and my credit card was failed, why? because I used my burglar alarm code, rather than my pin number

Kathyx

[Prairie Gal]

The Anniversary Fairy

A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.

Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, 'For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'

The wife answered,  'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.?

The fairy waved her magic wand and - POOF! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment: 'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.?

The wife and the fairy were perplexed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and POOF! The husband became 92 years old.

[Joy Cox]

Just what I needed, Prairie Gal... Believe I'll head off to bed. Wonder what hubby will think of being 92??    Granny Joy

[ros]

I hope you don't mind me adding to this great thread.
Last night my daughters and I were showing our grandchildren some old photos.
They were having a great laugh at seeing photos of their parents when they were young.
My daughter showed them a photo of me when I was sixteen and my sister's bridesmaid.
Here I am, approximately 40 kilos lighter, impeccably clear skin and beautiful thick long hair'
It took them a while to guess it was me
My four year old grandson took the photo, looked at me and looked back at the photo and with his beautiful innocent face, said "Grandma, but where are your glasses?"
What are darling, the only thing he could see that was diiferent.
We all just roared with laughter!! (Do you know I had to pause and think how to spell roar. It is strange isn't it?)

[Katybarstool]

Ros

That's wonderful! I just love the innocence of such young children. If only they could stay that way.

Kathyx

[irish]

I have enjoyed reading all these posts and really laughed at times. Felt good!!!

I thought I would tellyou about my experience with my youngest son who was 4 years at the time. He is now 37. He is the kind of kid who was mature for his age and always concerned with things being appropriate.

One day he and I went shopping and for lunch I took him to the Woolworth llunch counter. Remember those??? We ordered our sandwich and fries and sat there with several other people.

when I got my plate I wanted catsup and took the bottle and shook it---nothing came out. I shook the bottle with the cap on and then tried again. NOthing. This went on for a longer time then I felt was necessary. I then held the bottle in my hand and gave it a good crack on the bottom.  The bottle hit the plate and broke it and the ketchup  went everywhere. The waitress and I were wiping ketchup off of the counter, the walls, under the counter plus both my coat and my sons.

During this whole ordeal my son had turned away from me on the stool and would not look at me at all--ever!!! The people sitting at the counter were talking with me and my son continued to look away. The people started to just belly laugh at me son as his distain for his mother was indescribable. To this day my son remembers that episode. I laughed so hard that day that I think my endorphins were high for a week. Irish

[ros]

Irish, I can picture that situation so clearly and isn't it great to remember these times in your life.  My husband says we should carry a little notebook with us and write down the funny things kids say, because as we get older you forget them very quickly.

[Bernice]

Y'all I'm going to admit to something I am very shamed of, I have at times (too often) this uncontrolable laughter when something is funny. I'm not loud, but I will laugh til tears come, I lose my breath, well you get the picture. I hate when this happens, especially if it's at the expense of others, but the thing is I will laugh at myself and don't mind others laugh either.

Example: My church was invited to another, we went, our choir was singing, well we had this woman that was KNOWN to be one of the worst singers possible. Well this woman for some reason decided that she was going to lead a song, a song that was not even meant for her, my husband was to be the lead singer. She was standing in front of him and the first to reach for the mic. and would not give it up!

Those of us in the pews could see the rest of the chor members demanding that she give up the mic., it was as if they were so desperate and fearful of her singing that they comepletely forgot we were there watching! She would not release the mic.

Well we sat through what was the most God awful sounds coming from a human, only I could not just sit there like most everybody else and pretend I was not hearing this, I lost it, I laughed til I cried and got weak! The more I watched the expressions of others the funnier it got for me and a few others to include the other church's pastor's wife.

It was so bad the choir director stopped the music in mid song and appolized and brought my husband up to sing like he was supposed to in the first place, she started the song over

She is a good friend of mine, my past pastor's wife. She told me it was the most embarrassing thing that day, but she was laughing too when we were talking about it.

I have alot of moments like this, I'm KNOWN to be the laugher. I just can't seem to help it, the more I try to stop laughing  the worst it gets!

[beautifulkrissy026]

So I guess I better check the message boards more often. I'm trying to catch up, I'm only on page 3 but wow I thought it was bad trying to pee in one of those cups and instead peeing all over my hands and the outside of the cup; Jordozmom, That tops it all. When I took my daughter for her three year check up she did not want to cooperate at all, no height, weight, blood pressure, nothing she was not having it. Then she had to go to the bathroom and they had the nerve to ask me to collect a urine sample from her. It was a small cup to, we'll just say mommy's hands got peed on. I told the nurse I hope thats all she needed because not much mad it in the cup. I'm a little slow you'll all have to bare with me 8 pages is alot to catch up on.
Kristine