OT / My promise to Josh

[Bucky]

I have a nephew named Josh.  I have to give you a little background on Josh before I get to my promise.  Josh l-o-v-e-s souped up trucks.  The trucks with big wheels, loud mufflers, loud music, all the shiny chrome and flashy "extras".  With that being said, he also loves to take his trucks thru the mud . . . literally!!  His truck would be covered from roof to wheels in mud and then he would turn around and detail it until it looked brand new.  When Josh isn't working, he's out with his buddies and their trucks and the mud.  Josh's chosen profession is landscaping - being in his early 20's, he is very good at it.

In the spring of 2004 Josh complained of pain in his chest area.  The doctor at the walk-in clinic chalked it up to a pulled muscle.  In June when I was visiting, Josh still complained of pain.  More time passed and they went to another doctor as things just didn't seem right that he would still be in pain months and months later.  To make a long story short, when the new doctor ran some blood work on Josh it came back that Josh had a rare liver cancer.  He had been misdiagnosed back in the spring and it was now early fall.  A whirlwind of doctor appointments followed and he was given the grim news that his cancer was too advanced for the medicines to work or for him to go into a clinical trial.  Six weeks from the time of Josh's new diagnose, he passed away at the age of 22.

I was fortunate to be a part of Josh's hospice team to be with him 24/7 for his last few days.  I made a promise to Josh that I would share his story to help save others from having to go thru what he did.  IF you feel things in your body are not quite right and you are not getting any answers from the doctors . . . keep pursuing it. You have to be your own health advocate.  Had they done some blood work in the very beginning, back in the spring, they would have found the cancer.  Because of Josh's age and his profession, the "pulled muscle" seemed like an acceptable diagnose.  It wasn't.  When you are explaining aches and pains to the doctors be as descriptive as you can be.  Is it throbbing, dull, sharp, intense, etc.?  Guys tend to downgrade the pain scale.  It was my SIL who noticed the grimace in Josh's face while he was dealing with the pain - it hurt a lot more than he was letting on.  We'll never know if Josh could have beaten this cancer had it been found earlier.

Josh's motto was:  "I will be heard!"

Josh - in every souped up truck, loud stereo, beautiful landscaped yard or business I think of you.  Every time I go to the doctor - I think of you.

Josh, Happy 27th Birthday today - I love you, miss you, and hear you.  xoxoxoxo

Aunt Bucky

[wednesday mc haggis]

backy

i had to go get a hankie before i could post here, for your pain, his age, and reminds me of alot of personal pain too.

Thankyou for posting this it is a good reminder not to accept things when your body is telling you different.


so sorry youve had this deep loss in your family and wish you all wel in your grief which must be considerable.

while my grandmother as dying with cancer, my uncle had a persistant cough, never drank never smoked, doctor said it was a chest infection gave him anti biotics, but it got worse, more anti biotics, till we finally said demand a chest x ray this sint on, my gran died on the thursday, he had his chest xray on the friday, on the monday we went to his home he was 56 years old, to take him for lunch and he had passed away in his room,we were told heart attack,  chest x ray revealed massive lung tumour on both lungs, which pressed on his heart.  We only wish we had pushed it more earlier, but we were all taken up with my grans condition.wee all left that Gp1s practise and what a flea he got in his ear let me tell you !

two years ago my mums friend had a lump on her neck, doctors  said it was a cyst worry not,  3 months later she found a breast lump and it was removed and was told, book a holiday your going to be fine, again she asked about her neck lump, oh its a sebaceous cyst go home, 3 month later she found another lump in her tummy, she was told it was fatty tissue.

finally she went to her GP demanding a refferal, she was sent to a surgeon , who examine dher ahd said " oh if it keeps you happy we will remove them and test them" she was treated like some kind of hypochondriac paranoid person, well the results came back cancer, MRI scans showed it was everywhere by then and 6 weeks later she passed over.


   Bucky you are so right GET IT CHECKED OUT, dont take a quick examination and doctors who think they has x ray visions advice!!

get proper tests and biopsies done, thnakyou for reminding us all of this, and so sorry for the personal pain that led to the post  *hug*

T x

[Linda196]

Thank you for sharing this very important message, and touching story.

Unfortunately, even with doctors who jump all over a problem, check every possible avenue and look under every rock for a diagnosis, some forms of cancer just elude diagnosis until it's too late. My sister, who had routine abdominal ultrasounds yearly, as do I, because of our mother's ovarian cancer, and who had had a gastric scope in February of 2007 for recheck of a previous condition, and had clear scans at that time, developed gastric cancer in April of that year, which was exceedingly fast spreading and invasive, and resulted in her death in August that year, despite very aggressive treatment.

My promise would be, to continue to promote awareness and research of all cancers, and encourage routine screening, so that the ones that can be found and treated, are.

[Victoria05202000]

Very touching story. Very true.

Josh...You have been heard!


Take Care!
Vicky

[Chickpea]

Bucky, sweetie - thank you so much for posting about this.  My sons are 25 and 27, precious as the day they were born.

You're right: they always downplay any pain or problem.  I worry that they're even more likely to do that because they know I'm not well. 

Thinking of you and all your family - Chickpea

[KYMOM]

Bucky, Thank you for sharing.  I will give my boys an extra hug this evening.  Roxanne

[harrigan]

Me too Bucky - I can see you are very proud of all that Josh achieved in his all too short time and he would also be very proud of you for all that you are doing in his memory.  Thoughts with you and your family xx Ailsa

[Scottietottie]

Hi Bucky

That must have been sooo hard. Thanks for sharing. You are a credit to him.

Take care - Scottie

[Dolly Dimples]

  Dear Bucky,  so sad.. sooooo sweet. Thank's for the caring warnings..   and Happy Birthday Josh,
                               God Bless   Dollyx
                                                       
                                                         

[Katybarstool]

Dear Bucky

My heart goes out to you at the loss of a wonderful nephew. Thank you for sharing his story. You are absolutely right, if we feel there is a problem, there usually is. It just takes a lot of confidence to make people listen.

Prayers and hugs are being sent to you and Josh, and his parents.

Wednesday, thank you for sharing too. Life can be so unfair.

Kathyx

[Bucky]

Just wanted to say thanks to those who posted yesterday in reference to my promise to Josh.  We can't help but wonder what Josh would be doing now . . . would he be married, have a family, have a business with his Dad (my brother) like they had planned, or still be pulling his truck out of the mud - beaming from ear to ear.     In a bittersweet way it's as if I see Josh every day . . my son looks very much like him.

To McT and Linda . . I'm sorry for your losses.

Bucky

[Redetha]

   My prayers are with you and your family.  This is an all too often story.  My neice, Brandy, died at the age of 20, leaving an 18 month old daughter.  Same story, except with her, after her surgery, she was told everything was fine.  But the doctor did not follow through with the pathology report and she did have a rare form of cancer.  So I can understand exactly where you are coming from.   Happy Birthday to Josh !! Hope you are in heaven with Brandy and you are both having a ball.

[lynnmarie219]

Hi Bucky,

I'm sorry that I missed this post yesterday....thank you so much for sharing your very personal feelings and Josh's story here with us....he would be proud to know that you are carrying on with the promise that you made to him.

And you are so right....trust your feelings....you know your body the best....go with your gut and insist on the doctor pursuing an ongoing problem!

Lots of hugs to you and your family!

Happy Birthday to Josh!

[ktfabian]

Hi Bucky

I'm So sorry to hear of how you lost your precious nephew.  His story is a critical one to share, and I thank you for sharing it with us.

We here have to be especially sure we follow up on things that don't seem quite right.  It's so easy to blame a new pain or discomfort on our sjogren's.  When in doubt, have it checked out.  And if you don't think your doctor is giving it the attention they should, find a new doctor!

My prayers are with your family, Bucky,
Tracy