surgeon

[Reanne]

Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to post that I'm going to see a surgeon on Wednesday.  I asked the local doctor why they were sending me there.  He said anytime the supraclavicular lymph node is swollen they suspect lymphoma.  He said not to worry about it for now, just wait until I see what the surgeon says.  I think it's much easier said than done.  After antibiotics and motrin, the lymph node hasn't gone down any.  I'm not sure why they didn't go ahead and order blood work here instead of waiting.  They did a chest x-ray and when I called to see if the results were back the receptionist just said, "He signed off on it."  It could have said anything and he signed off on it because I'm being sent somewhere else.  I have tried and tried to explain to my family how I feel (physically, emotionally).  It seems they just don't care or can't understand.  I'm to the point that if I do have cancer of some sort, I don't want to fight anymore.  I'm exhausted beyond measure. I can no longer fight this disease and the people around me.  I am ready to give up. 

Reanne

[Torsornin]

I am sorry. That is so tough *hug*

[Redetha1]

Reanne, the alone feeling is hard to deal with when you are worried.  You appear anxious just as I would be in your shoes.  Come here and vent your feelings because others know what you are feelings.  I am sending you a big HUG and will remember you in my prayers.  Please keep posting and let you know what happens.  I will be thinking of you each day and especially on Wednesday.  Hugs, Redetha

[lesmom]

Reanne,
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I completely understand the whole family thing not getting it. Don't give up. The good thing is Lymphoma is very curable. Everyone on this site gets you and wants to be here for you. hang in there and keep us posted.

A big hug for you,
Leslie

[wednesday mc haggis]

Reanne

im so sorry your family isnt being supportive, staggers me how families can be at times, including my own.

  Course your overwhelmed and yup all to easy to say dont worrry, but doing it and saying it being two different ball parks.

Lympoma is very treatable, if thats what it turns out to be, SJS in itself can cause exhaustion that can make you feel like road kill.

  Anxiety and depression are so closely links its hard to know where one begins and one ends, are you taking anything for your mood, be no shame in it at all honey, ive taken them myself at times over the years, if your not speak to your GP and get something to help with that.

Sure you want to give up, i mean who wouldnt ?? one curve ball after another is enough to test the toughest person, especially when feeling so lonely and isolated, but there are many ppl who have beat cancer, a few on this very forum, who can tell you they got through that stage , and theyre glad they did.

  speak it all out with us, there are ppl here who care, and families, well somedays they leave you scratching your head in dismay, and speak to your GP about your mood, i was once ill with post natal depression and i truly wanted to give up, but i got it treated, and im so very glad i didnt give up, id have missed some of the best moments of my life

T x

[Dolly Dimples]

  Hi Reanne, so sorry to hear of the worry you have right now.. Wednesday is right, see your Doc a.s.p,

tell him exactly how you feel and,  ask for some anti-depressants to tide you over ..

Praying and hoping the results next Wed are not as  bad as you fear ..

    Remember that  families don't like hearing that their loved ones are sick , so always they make light of it!
                        Sending you good vibes and blessings.. Hugs Dolly x

[Reanne]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement.

Reanne

[irish]

Reanne, I am sorry that you are so stressed out but that is certainly par for the course when we deal with autoimmune disease plus deal with our families. Sometimes I think the families can cause us more stress than the illness. Families just don't get it and don't want to get it because it forces them to have to face illness and all that goes with it. They don't like the thought of it and if you ignore something or someone's problems than it won't affect you/me. Right!!! Wrong!  But that is the way they think.

Just hang in there and be oh so thankful that you have a doc that is sharp enough to know what to do with you and your enlarged lymph node. It is good that he is sending you for a biopsy. Remember that many times the biopsy is negative and remember also that if it is lymphoma it is very treatable.

I have to also add that besides being sick and tired plus being sick of being sick and tired people with chronic disease get in a conundrum. Here we sit being ill and our health is like riding a rollar coaster. We have lots things we think about doing and wanting to do and planning on doing, but when push comes to shove we are too tired and just can't do it. We get so darn socially isolated that we really get in a funk!

I run into people up town and talk with them and tell them to call me and will go for coffee. Have to tell them that there are times that I am not able to go. No one calls cause I am basically no fun cause I can't keep up with the world. Makes a person feel like a grade schooler who doesn't fit in.

Therefore, we have to force ourselves to find ways to keep busy and find things to do to make the time pass. Soooo, when you are feeling just generally sick and tired of everything come here and let it all out. We have all been there and done that. Good luck and let us know how the biopsy goes. Irish

[Reanne]

Hi Everyone,

Just wanted to give you an update.  The surgeon thinks what I have is a lipoma.  He says we should leave it alone unless it causes me problems, like grows much bigger, becomes sore, or I want it off for cosmetic reasons.  He said if he removes it, there will be a huge scar.  Thanks again for the encouragement from this site.

Reanne

[Dolly Dimples]

  That Is great news Reanne,   I am so pleased  that it is nothing too sinisyter ..This will lighten your load a little..
       
    As for family, try getting them to read up about your condition, ask them to read a few of the threads here..
       
      Take care and try to stay positive , we are always here for you..
                                                                                                      Dolly
                                                                                                                               
             

[Chickpea]

Hi Reanne

Thanks for giving us an update.  You were in our thoughts and it's a relief to hear the diagnosis.  How are you feeling now after the emotional rollercoaster you've been on?

Take care - Chickpea