Can I unload?

[LenV]

Urker,
I certainly understand unloading.  You are welcome to unload all your little heart desires.  Wish I could do more than just "listen".

I understand your fears.  It might help you to make plans for what you will do if ..heaven forbid..your fears should have grounds.  I've found in my life that if I know what I'm facing, I handle it much better.  I seem to get thru things if I plan for them.  It might make your husband feel better too.

In the meantime, unload away!  I'll try to keep my ears open and my arms sending hugs.

Billye

[salsen]

Uker my prayers are with you and your husband.  I am sure your husband knows without you saying the worries and fears you have.  Just go day by day and take care of the needs as they arise.  Forget projecting into the future  --  just share your days with your husband with as much joy as possible.  If your children are grown, please consider letting them know what the doctor has discussed with you.  Only great love can come from helping each other. 

We all are here if you need to let some of the fears out.  Just writing them down and seeing them helps to make you stronger and more able to cope.  You know everyone here is always willing to listen. 

Take care of yourself.  Wishing you a peaceful heart!

[Dolly Dimples]

 UKer, please do as Scottie advises and see your practise nurse about getting help from the Macmillan nurse .. They are absolutely brilliant.. My Bro in Law died with lung cancer at New Year, these nurses were there for him and his wife who would never have got through it with out them.. No problem is too great for them, they help not only the illness, but with everything, you won't regret it... This would also help your poor hubby from worrying how all this is affecting YOU ! and he will be!!.  Blessing you all. Dolly..
               

                 

[irish]

uker, You ideas and plans sound good. I am sure that both of you are more or less in a "holding pattern" with the chemo taking time and energy out of both of you.  Hopefully, he will perk up when he doesn't have to do the chemo and you both can have a chance to relax and just nap and talk.

I can relate to some of what you are going through as my hubby was really sick about 5 years ago with meningitis following back surgery plus infection in the blood, the bones in his back and the discs. He spent a total of 75 days in the hospital both out of town and in town. When he came home we both spent about 3 days in our jammies and just rested. Being sick if physically exhausting just from all the stuff they put you through to get you better. It overflows onto the spouse also. My thoughts and prayers are with you both. Irish

[ktfabian]

Uker-

I am SO sorry to hear of all that you, your husband and family are going through.  My prayers are with all of you.

I can understand your fear of how you will handle all that Sjs brings should the time come that you are on your own, and also your desire to keep a stiff upper lip around your husband. 

You can't ask for a better place to come and unload that here where there are so many supportive people who understand what you are going through with your Sjs.

That said, you have so many other issues to deal with these days.  Is it possible to find a therapist, especially one who works with spouses of cancer patients?  Having someone to talk to face to face, to call in time of crisis, may be a big help through this difficult time, especially when the time comes to talk to your children.

I've seen a therapist for more than 12 years, ever since a back injury changed my life and that of my family forever.  He's been  a lifesaver for me at times.

It's just something to think about.  In the meantime, you know we will all be with you, to give whatever support we can, or just to listen when you need an understanding ear,
Tracy