I'll forever keep my promise . . . .

[Bucky]

To our members who have been here for a while, please bear with me yet again as I uphold my yearly promise to Josh.
                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have a nephew named Josh.  I have to give you a little background on Josh before I get to my promise.  Josh l-o-v-e-s souped up trucks.  The trucks with big wheels, loud mufflers, loud music, all the shiny chrome and flashy "extras".  With that being said, he also loves to take his trucks through the mud . . . literally!!  His truck would be covered from roof to wheels in mud and then he would turn around and detail it until it looked brand new.  When Josh isn't working, he's out with his buddies and their trucks and the mud.  Josh's chosen profession is landscaping - being in his early 20's, he is very good at it.

In the spring of 2004 Josh complained of pain in his chest area.  The doctor at the walk-in clinic chalked it up to a pulled muscle.  In June when I was visiting, Josh still complained of pain.  More time passed and they went to another doctor as things just didn't seem right that he would still be in pain months and months later.  To make a long story short, when the new doctor ran some blood work on Josh it came back that Josh had a rare liver cancer.  He had been misdiagnosed back in the spring and it was now early fall.  A whirlwind of doctor appointments followed and he was given the grim news that his cancer was too advanced for the medicines to work or for him to go into a clinical trial.  Six weeks from the time of Josh's new diagnose, he passed away at the age of 22.

I was fortunate to be a part of Josh's hospice team to be with him 24/7 for his last few days.  I made a promise to Josh that I would share his story to help save others from having to go through what he did. IF you feel things in your body are not quite right and you are not getting any answers from the doctors . . . keep pursuing it. You have to be your own health advocate. Had they done some blood work in the very beginning, back in the spring, they would have found the cancer.  Because of Josh's age and his profession, the "pulled muscle" seemed like an acceptable diagnose.  It wasn't.  When you are explaining aches and pains to the doctors be as descriptive as you can be.  Is it throbbing, dull, sharp, intense, etc.?  Guys tend to downgrade the pain scale.  It was my SIL who noticed the grimace in Josh's face while he was dealing with the pain - it hurt a lot more than he was letting on.  We'll never know if Josh could have beaten this cancer had it been found earlier.

Josh's motto was:  "I will be heard!"

Josh - in every souped up truck, loud stereo, beautiful landscaped yard or business I think of you.  Every time I go to the doctor - I think of you.

Josh - today is your birthday - you would be 32 yrs. old.  It's been 9-1/2 yrs. since you've been gone.  It just doesn't seem possible.  I see a lot of "Josh trucks" all the time.  You're never far from my mind buddy.  Especially, since your cousin looks so much like you did when you were his age.  I love you, miss you, and hear you. (I've kept my promise to you too, and always will . . . love you forever!)  xoxoxo   Happy Birthday Josh!

Aunt Bucky

P.S.  To those of you who have a cancer history in your families - please, make sure and get regular screenings.  (In Josh's case, no one in our family had any history of liver cancer.)  It is my hope and prayer that someday researchers will find a cause and cure for all cancers.  Way too many lives are taken by this awful disease.  To our members who are dealing with a dx of cancer right now - keep the faith and know we are here to support you in your journey.

As I read our members stories here on this site, I have to emphasize that if you are not happy with the treatment (or non treatment) you are receiving from your current doctor(s) - find another doctor!  Don't let weeks, months and years go by not getting proper treatment - we know there is no cure for Sjogren's, but it can be managed.  You HAVE to be your own health advocate - nobody else can do it for you!

[A66eyroad]

This never gets old, Bucky. Thanks for sharing, and thanks for being the kind of aunt who keeps her promises.

[Velcro]

  Wonderful every time!

[Ripvanann]

Thanks for sharing this Bucky. You were obviously a huge blessing to Josh.

Grace and peace

~Andrea

[gemini052377]

Thank you so very much for sharing this Bucky! Such a powerful message in the suffering of your nephew and the sadness his passing brought to your family.

It is so nice you were able to help your sister care for him during his final days. And keeping your promise to honor him each year by sharing his story. I am sure his message has touched so many lives in numerous ways.

Hugs, love and peace to you and Happy Birthday to Josh.

Take Care,
Mary

[Katybarstool]

Bucky

Thank you for your tribute to your nephew. I just can't believe another year has rolled round.

Hugs
Kathyx

[susanep]

Thank you Bucky for sharing the love for him.

susanep