FMLA question....

[Autoimmunity]

Long story hopefully short.  I was off on fmla for a month.  Have been back about a month, not doing well.  I took one day fmla leave (have intermittent leave) maybe 2 weeks ago because I hadn't slept for 2 months (from medication??) and that night was particularly bad, slept maybe an hour and a half.  Was very weak that day, dizzy, etc.  I normally email my managers "friend" who is just a coworker to me as she handles the bosses calander suposedly, and I email another coworker who was once upon a time a pretty good friend..the same girl who told me to stop taking my medication because it is expensive and costing all of us.  So that day neither one even acknowledged my email, normally I get a response that indicates they got my email.
I saw my rheumy last week, he took me off the xeljanz due to neurologic symptoms, I'm waiting for him to decide if he is going to send me to a neurologist.
Our manager sent out an email NO vacation days off this month (they always push everyone to flex because we aren't bringing in enough money), but now, pushing o/t and no days off.  Of course the exception is her good friend who is off this week.  So I felt like crap this morning, totally exhausted, could barely get up, had to force myself to go in to work.  I really wanted to take an fmla day, but decided to go in.  When I was getting out of my car, I had a severe pain in my left knee, it totally gave out and I fell.  I was fine, but having pain in both knees, shoulders all day, swollen lymph nodes, generally feeling unwell on top of taking vicodin for pain which makes me sick.  Around 7:30am I sent an email to the manager (as she was in a different location for the day) that I was in a lot of pain today, I did not say I fell and did not feel I needed to share info. like that, said I would like to take 1/2 day FMLA.  NO response period!  I know she got it as she responded to the email I sent after that about an account.  I am so pissed and very hurt.  I am so invisible to everyone.  Spent 1/2 the day crying.  I didn't leave as I didn't have permission, but skipped lunch and left 1/2 hour early.  I am sure I will be in big trouble for that.
I want to know if it's ok to just ignore my FMLA requests?  It's not like I am some lazy girl who felt like slacking 1/2 day and was headed to the beach.  I am very ill.  Just because I look ok or my doctor released me back to work (had to practically beg for the leave in the first place), does not mean I am ok.  I didn't want to just leave as I felt like I would be written up or they were setting me up to fire me, which honestly would be the biggest blessing.  I am getting very close to just being done working and trying for disability.  I can't do this anymore.  I am sick, they give me the biggest workload, my boss has mocked my forgetfulness to my face before, just can't continue, regardless of what my doctor thinks.
So I guess that was long story long    Thanks for letting me rant.  Have had a very painful week and I am emotionally exhausted.

[lori]

Auto-

I am so sorry you had such a horrible day- people can be so mean- especially those who have never had an helath problems...

I wish I had answers for you and could make you feel better but just wanted to tell you I am lifting you in prayer.

try to get some rest and do something nice for yourself... a nice soak in the tub?

prayers for you

lori

[Autoimmunity]

That is so sweet, thank you Lori.

[Cassi307]

Autoimmunity
By law they can't deny your Fmla request and can't discipline you for taking it. Unfortunately it does not stop people from being rude and inconsiderate. Under Fmla you are not required to explain yourself. Sometimes our health issues make us feel less than adequate and even threatened by the way people treat us in the work environment. I remember my old job threatening to discipline me because I had taken too many days off to care for my seriously ill mom. Really now, what if it was their mother??? I was covered by Fmla and they could not do anything.
I know it is hard and you have my sincere sympathy. Stay strong and take care of yourself.

[Autoimmunity]

Yes, I was already out on medical leave for a month, it seems like everyone expects me to come back (and many coworkers knew that I have rheumatoid arthritis) and be miraculously cured and when I am not happy, smiling, jovial it seems like they are thinking what a b...., what's wrong with her???  Nobody gets it.  I am getting worse, not better.  I may or may not have std.  I signed up, but this was around the time I started getting symptoms, so might be pre-existing.  It doesn't help I just got my drs renewal for my intermittent fmla and he wrote down initially dx back in either 2001 or 2007, I can't tell, but I didn't see him (get dx) until the end of 2010, beginning of 2011.  He also put down I was seen twice in 2010 and then four times this year.  Skipped entirely the six visits last year.  I suspect he was drinking??  Seriously.
Yes, I think they are subtly trying to nudge me out the door.  Hey, I've only been there 14 years.  Believe me, I am happy to go.  I need to get my testing done with the neurologist as I will have no insurance, no money (I am single), need to get dental issues fixed.  I will have no insurance once I leave as no way I can afford ...can't think of the word...paying for insurance once you leave the job.
I do have LTD only 40% through my work so I am going to try to get my doctor to put me out on std and then continue into ltd.  I was dx with RA a little over 2 years ago and have tried 5 different medications that haven't worked.  I don't think my doctor thinks I am so bad I should stop working and I have guilt knowing there are others so much worse off than me, but the job is killing me. 
Going to call an attorney next week and see if they will review my case to see if I even have a shot, don't want to gamble my 401k and then have to look for a new job in a year and a half because I don't qualify.  Then I will be worse off making half of what I do now assuming I could even find a job.  Huge risk.  I see some people approved right off that don't seem all that ill (not judging, just my impression), others who are desperately ill where ssd denies and it drags on for years.  No offense, but when do they realize that we didn't choose this?  I know of people who have made a career off ssdi or more likely is it ssi? who are totally drug addicts or alcoholics.  That was a choice.  Sorry, I am very down in the dumps this week.
And thanks, I will call the EEOC next week about the FMLA, probably not tomorrow as I doubt I am feeling any better since I didn't get to rest today, so it's unlikely I will be feeling better tomorrow.  Not going in again if I don't feel well on the hopes of working part day.  Seems they kind of shot themselves in the foot when I was trying to do the right thing.  Wouldn't they rather have me 1/2 day then call in sick altogether?
Thanks everyone for the advice and encouragement and just allowing me to rant.  It is truly appreciated.

[slccom]

I'm so sorry you are going through this! Know that you are supported here. And Karma will get them someday!
Hugs, Sharon

[Autoimmunity]

Autoimmunity

Your concerns about insurance and such are valid. When I retired, thankfully I had done my time in h*ll long enough to be eligible for full benefits, so I could keep my insurance. However, I had no income so my only source was draw from my 401K. I waited a year before applying for SSDI. Then it was a year plus months before it was approved. I went thru two disability representatives that wasted my time and did not even to get ALL my medical stuff to SSA. I was at the hearing level when I called SSA who referred me to my congressman. At that point? I was a hare's breath from having zip of my 401K. Thankfully, that got my claim approved (congressional intervention) without a hearing.

However, my 401K was depleted. Medicare kicked in that same year (kicks in 2 years from date of disability), and SSA retro'd my benefits to original date of disability. However, as you shared about your situ, COBRA (which is diff than what I had when I retired, I got retiree insurance which is less costly than COBRA)...is extraordinarily expensive. Yet reality is, when you reach the point of not being able to work any longer (and it sounds like you are fast approaching that turning point), you've got to have insurance else your medical costs will be over the top. Medicaid would be an option, but the trend is less doctors are accepting Medicaid patients.

One thing that comes to mind is find a new doctor if possible. Try to get into neuro for testing asap. Whatever you can get done medically while you still have insurance, get it done.

Document, document document...

In prep for that inevitable day of applying for disability, start keeping a journal of your symptoms, how they prevent you from working and limits you in other aspects of your life - yep SSA will need that info to, as well as location of every medical record out there on you, all the dates you were seen, all the tests, scans, rx's and so on. So when you have a reasonably "good" day and are not scheduled to work, start putting all of that together a little bit at a time.

Back to FMLA, my understanding on that remains that all you have to tell your employer when you need time off for FMLA is that you are calling in sick AND it's FMLA leave. My understanding is you are not required to explain all the details of your medical condition on any given day you need FMLA. The FMLA paperwork ITSELF is reason enough. Your medical situation is not supposed to be discussed by your manager with other co-workers.

Litli Wlowa

Cobra, thank you!!  That was driving me nuts last night and I work with insurance every day.  Ugg!
I think my problem was I was waiting for "approval" to go home, which I never got.  I am going in today as I feel alright this morning, but if I need to leave I guess I just say I am leaving and don't ask??  It is just so against my personality, I need to explain myself to death.  Well, my doctor took me off my meds..yada, yada..I just need people to believe me.  Guess it's time to get over that.  Boss is there today , guess I will just have to tell her to her face if I am not feeling well I'm sick, I'm leaving today.  YIKES, my personality doesn't match my illness!! 

[Autoimmunity]

Oh, and as far as cobra goes, I couldn't afford to pay that if I was working full-time so that is out of the question entirely.  If I had something catastrophic and was hospitalized, if it is a big bill, the hospital usually pays the cobra as it is cheaper than writing off the bill (I know, I work there).  Or since I wouldn't be working, I could apply to have it written off.  Embarrassing as these people are my coworkers, but hey, that's life.
I thought about medicaid and again, embarrassing and will apply, but I think I disqualify because I have a house???.
So I am guessing I will be off RA meds for a while, they don't seem to be doing much for me anyway.  I guess I will have to manage for a while with pain meds and pred through my pcp.
I just pray God will see me through somehow.

[Belsey1]

So much good advice from many.  Next time you are having a really bad day don't go in at all.  I used to try to do the half day things or would try to go to work and have to leave and then would feel so guilty.  The guilt made it almost impossible to truly rest when I got home.  I was on intermittent leave last year and I never once felt guilty because it is there for a reason and is granted to people who need it, so use it and don't give them a second thought.  They would be in a lot of legal trouble if they fired you while on FMLA. 

Best of luck to you.  Hold your head high and don't let them think they have beat you down.  That is when they have you where they want you and make things harder on you.

[Reanne]

I thought about medicaid and again, embarrassing and will apply, but I think I disqualify because I have a house???.

So I am guessing I will be off RA meds for a while, they don't seem to be doing much for me anyway. 



That is so frustrating to me!!!  Why do we have to not have anything decent in order to apply for assistance.  It was your hard work to buy a house. So many people abuse the system.  They get benefits and then sell food stamps for cash or work for cash and don't report it.  I won't rant on this forever (although I could). 

I just don't understand why people who work all their lives end up in the same boat with those who don't. 

As far as the meds, could you apply to the drug companies to get them?

I wish you well autoimmunity.  If my post is inappropriate, send me a message and I will delete it.

[Reanne]

I agree litliwlowa.  I don't think people should have to sell their house or decent to qualify for benefits.  It doesn't seem fair that those of us who work (sick or not) don't qualify because we have worked. 

We did apply for benefits when my husband was hurt once.   At the time we didn't have a newer car or a house worth much. 

Auto, I encourage you to apply for anything that may help if you have to quit work.