friendships

[wednesday mc haggis]

confused....i think everyone here is just as wonderful, maybe one good thign that came from all this is we value things so much more now, good days, freindships and life , i think each person here is someone special *hug*
i wished we all lived closer, i think wed make the best group of friends the world ever seen *hug*

butterfly  thankyou so much , youve all made me bubble , i think the day we have no compassion within us, is day we might as well hang up our hats, god i miss nursing, so many ppl needing compassion and a good darn hug, which worked better than morphine most days, now i understand illness from the flip side, and i see that some kind words , understanding and a hug, was the best medecine anyone was ever offered, and i know that how i nursed , wasnt wrong, collegues telling me i was OTT, never did hear a patient say that!!


so HUGS to each and every one of you

T x

[lynnmarie219]

I also enjoyed reading about your grandmother...she was a wonderful and strong woman!

[harrigan]

Weds. sometime we HAVE  to meet up and share our granmothers!  You have clearly inherited all that made your special grandma a strong. patient, loyal and compassionate lady and I'm sure she woukd have been very proud of you.  Thanks for all you have shared and the precious memories you have invoked in so many of us xx Ailsa

[Katybarstool]

Hi Wednesday

I'm just catching up on all the threads, and I'm really sorry to hear about that 'individual'. How could she every be your friend, with an attitiude like that. I know you have had lots of advice, and people have shared their feelings with you. Well, I just want to get my hands on Trish and punch her very selfish nose

Sending you a big hug.

Kathyx

[Patze]

Hi WMH,

Now ain't that pitiful?  You can even count on that person to listen for just a few minutes, how sad is that?  What is it with this world where there are so many more turkeys than there used to be, or that they multiplied and didn't tell me!?

I too am sorry to see it as you have such a gentle soul and I'm glad to know you!  Too bad that "ex" of yours probably will never know how to be a true friend, and it will cost her in the long run as no one else is going to want to fill your former shoes.  Pity to be her I say!

Take care my friend and remember that the true friend is the one that when you're at your lowest point and you turn around to breath, they are there.


Patze

[TerriJ]

Wednesday,

I'm sorry to hear about your hurtful experience.  I don't know you well and don't have much chance to post, yet I can relate in so many ways.  I really believe that we have phases in our lives and things are constantly changing.  As other have said, try to let it go.  When one door closes another always opens.   If we keep looking back at the closed door with regret we might miss the door that is ready to be opened.  It still hurts though and it takes time to heal. 

My life has changed drastically since being diagnosed with SJS and fibro.  I haven't been able to be as active and doing things with friends is a challenge.  Especially if it's something like going hiking or the like.  I've always been the family member who planned things and did special things for kids.  I just don't have the energy or drive to do it now.  It's like I have just barely enough to keep myself going.  I've begun to feel isolated in some ways, but there are a few blessings that have come my way as well. 

Funny thing, I use coconut milk and oil some.  After reading that you use coconut oil I always think of you when I take the jar out of the cupboard.

Take care.

Terri

[Chickpea]

It's wonderful to read so much love and thoughtfulness.  I especially liked Terri's comment:  When one door closes another always opens.   If we keep looking back at the closed door with regret we might miss the door that is ready to be opened.

Next time I'm overcome with regrets about the things I've lost and the aspects of my life that have changed, I'm going to remember that.  Wise words.

Thanks to all - Chickpea

[wednesday mc haggis]

thankyou all so much for all the support and advice!! im reading all the posts and just feel blown away by all your answers, wise words indeed, feeling alot better, and relieved , not had one drama since, the rest has been great


  honestly cant say thanks enough for the advice, support and caring shown to me here,  by everyone, your all a blessing to know 

T x

[lurkernomore]

Oh Wednesday, you are so welcome. You know, I just don't get it, because someone with your heart, you are so easy to love-which means this is all totally her loss. Just keep looking ahead and smiling, (when you are not feeling bad, of course) and know that you are worthy and you are loved. There will always be people who don't understand. Those type of people do not deserve to be taking up space in either our heads or our hearts. Leave those open for people who truly love and appreciate you. Which, I feel sure, are many! Just look at all the responses you have gotten here! And I am sure that in real life, there are just as many, if not more.

[Rhonda]

I am finding that people I considered "friends" are abandoning me because I don't feel well enough to do the things they want to do.  Example:  I started a vanpool about 2 1/2 years ago.  The van is leased to me and there are 8 of us who ride in the vanpool and share expenses for the commute to and from work each day.  I have driven the van back and forth to work faithfully for these past 2 1/2years and only recently have had to ask for help with the driving due to my extreme fatigue, blurred vision and just generally not feeling well. 

I am a proud person and it was very hard for me to ask the girls to help me drive the van.  The excuse I gave was "I have been diagnosed with a disease that makes me very tired and achy all over."  Well, they do help drive in the afternoons but they push me to the back of the van where the seat is very hard to get into and is very uncomfortable once you get there.  I have said that it is very uncomfortable for me back there and it is aggravating my pain and stiffness- their reply- "we have to sit back there when you drive."  No one has asked me what is wrong, if I need anything or if they can do anything to help. In fact, they have stopped asking me to do any after work activities, stopped emailing me and have all but stopped talking to me unless it is commute or work related.

These are people I have ridden back and forth to work with for the past 2 1/2 years- we have shared lots in the 2 1/2 hours we spend together daily on the van.  I am very hurt that they are so shallow that they are mad because I am unable to continue driving the entire way.  It has made me realize that maybe they weren't such good friends in the first place. 

I am so uncomfortable in the van now, (both physically and emotionally) but I don't feel like I can give up the van to one of the others and drive my personal vehicle back and forth to work due to my not feeling well and the increased expense.  I keep hoping things will change, but I am not very hopeful.

This disease has affected so many areas of my life and I hate to think I am only 49 years old and have a long time to deal with this disease and all it has to "offer". 

[wednesday mc haggis]

Rhonda

  its a disgrace really it is! To thionk what youve done for them, and are now still the one who deals with the rental and any repairs etc, and to shove you in the back, knowing youve got an illness, well shocking really, must be devoid of conscience, sadly.

So sorry theyve treated you this way, and not even ask how your affected by it all, manners seems to be a scarce thing these days,  you as good as your last errand, but one day they shall have health problems and one day they will understand, i think fact we dont look sick just adds to it.

I did my reiki course recently and i was youngest there, was a lady who goes diving, running etc, and she had a slight cold, i was asked sinc ei am the youngest to do the setting up of tables etc, which at my first course i did and paid later for it, last time i just said no, they looked at me, i said listen, i took my turn last time and i was very sore doing so, now its someone esles turn, one said ..but your the youngest!! , i giggled and said nicely, on the surface i am yes, but when you go home and make supper and watch TV , i ll be popping painkillers and steeping in a bath for relief. im quickly learning the word no.

never knew how many ppl were offended by honesty and assertiveness until recently, but there are plenty,   and like you at 37 i can see that its something i ll be having to do alot over the years, sad there are so many ppl who are in things for what they can get from it, and how few pl appraoch something, what can i give to it.

  As  a nurse i defied a senior nursing sister when sent to a ward to help a few years back, was a rehab ward, and an old lady who was about to be discharged had been given a basin to wash herself with and told get on with it, no one will be helping you at home, she had diarrhoea, and since she had bad athritis had had an accident and couldnt get her legs washed by herself, she was crying, against what i had been told to do, i went in behind the curtain and helped her, gave her  a hug, and said i ll be finnishing soon, but i ll make you a wee cuppa before i go honey, i got the biggest smile, on being caught by the sister, i got pulled into the duty room and ranted at about it being a rehab ward and how i was doing her no favours, all i said was, id rather be ranted at by you as go home feeling guilty at not helping her, i was repremanded,  i said to the sister do what ya want, one day we`ll be that old lady and one day we will expect some digintiy and respect, i hope the ward sister is just like you !

what goes round comes back around  Rhonda, one day they ll be there and one day they ll understand that pain

T x

 

[Rhonda]

I think you are right- what goes around comes around.

I too, am a nurse- however I have not worked in nursing for the past 10 years.  I was not feeling well back then and made the decision to move into administration.  I am currently enrolled in the Bachelor's program for Health Services Administration- but it is increasingly hard for me to do the schoolwork.  I AM going to finish though - I should graduate in april 2011.  I hope I have my symptoms under control by then so I can continue working until I am 62 and can retire from my job.

thanks!

[kimbo]

McWensdeday,

Praise you for your love and care, administered in your sweet nursing. And for standing for what is right, going up stream and against the flow. The world is a better place for such kindness and gentleness.

Your grandma is very proud, I am sure that she contributed in your strength of charactor.

blessings kimbo