New member, how to deal with the guilt of being ill?

[Kristina09]

Unbelievable how I have been doing this this whole time alone, I was feeling a little crazy because I thought no one could relate, and in a few days of being on here I feel more empowered and stronger to get through the bad days when I?m stuck in bed alone, before I didn?t  talk to anyone because I don?t want to burden them. Didn?t  ask for help or honest about my symptoms or how I?m doing mentally. I now have people to talk to and that is healing in itself. I thank you all.

[susanep]

All of the others have given great advice/comments. I have been down the guilty road plenty, and still struggle, but mine now is mostly when I think back to my dad. Both of my parents are gonenow, but in 2016 my dad passed away in the nursing home. He was 84, but I felt so guilty with this disease and not able to do all I wanted to for my father. My mother had passed away in 2012 so dad already felt alone.

Well, that is how it has affected me the most. I would be so sick I couldn't visit as much as I wanted. I stayed with him all night when we were told his kidneys were failing him. The hardest part was not being well enough to have my father live with us until he passed away. I was too sick to take care of dad in how he needed 24/7 care.

I don't want to pass on my issues, but yes we all have had to deal with different guilt issues.
It is a journey we work through day by day, and it gets better.

You will make it, but yes, you do have to take care of yourself or you can  become sicker.
It is becoming somewhat a new you. I have learned to appreciate simple things now that I probably took for granted before.

Don't ever worry about coming here to release your feelings or share something with us or ask for help. We all need each other.

Thank you for sharing a blessing with all of us today.
Hugs, susanep

[Kristina09]

I?m so sorry for your loss, I can relate to losing a loved one and the guilt you feel when they are gone, like you could have done more.  Thank you for sharing that experience. I lost my dad 5 yrs ago. He suddenly got ill at 66 yrs old and died within 4 days. If I can pass on any comfort to your experience is that life never goes back to normal you just learn to live with that missing piece.  It does get easier. Don?t be too hard on yourself. You did what you could considering the circumstances. I?m sure he wouldn?t want u to feel guilty when thinking of him. You have to forgive yourself for things you can?t control.  Easier said than done I know.  I appreciate you.

[susanep]

Thank you Kristina,
That is very sweet and kind of you. I told you that you are a blessing. 

susanep

[twilite]

Your job defined you...  I know what you mean.  Use those skills to help you physicians diagnose and treat you. Research, research and research because the memory goes.  Use ur phone calendar to chart meds, symptoms and appts.

When I go to Dr I can never remember what I wanted to talk about.  I now list those this vs as an event on the day of my appt. That helps me.  Use this sight often it was a blessing and a knowledge base to help me cope when I was diagnosed.

I don't post much cause my typing skills and my vocabulary are not what they used to be.  Just wanted to say your gonna be ok as long as you are involved in your treatments and do your research.

Best to you
Pat

[Ohiocat]

Look up "spoon theory". And share it with your family.  Even the kids if they are old enough

Both you and them need to understand how you need to learn to manage with less spoons on a daily basis