What if?

[sixty]

I have a rather strong fear of dying and it going un-noticed for a long time.  That wouldn't be so bad, but I live alone, I have very few friends and family and there are days and even weeks that can go by without me talking to any of them.  My fear is the animals I live with could end up starving to death if that were to happen.  What can I do to prevent that?  Are there any organizations that will check up with you, making sure you're alive?  This probably sounds ridiculous to some of you but it's very real to me.  I also don't want to ask any family or friends to take on that responsibility because it just seems like a hassle to me.  Does anyone have an idea or suggestion?  I'm really sort of embarrassed by the whole thing and don't want to bring it up to anyone. 

[kimberly64]

If you are a religious person your local church is there for help.  My father in law is a pastor and visits people at home regularly. Also if you have a family member or friend you can text on a weekly basis just to check in.  It takes no time to just to check on one another.
Kim

[araminta]

In the UK we have some voluntary organisations such as Age UK which offer to phone people regularly if they feel isolated.   I think you are in the US - maybe there's something similar there?

[Liz D.]

sixty,

Depending on where you live or if you are old enough, you may be eligible for Meals on Wheels where volunteers deliver lunch everyday.  My aunt had that and the volunteers were to notify others if the person didn't answer the door for their meal.

Just a thought.

Liz D.

[warmwaters]

I'm so sorry this fear is haunting you. If you do have friends and family, may the thing for you to do is to set up a schedule to call them on a regular basis. Wed is Aunt Mary, Friday is Cousin Trudy, etc. Have a brief conversation, and then sign off.  If this become routine, then if you were not to call at your "usual" time, they might become concerned and check in.

I don't know how realistic your concerns about dying suddenly are, but if this is an idea that's gotten stuck in your head and isn't terribly likely in the near term you might want to talk with your primary care doctor or possibly a psychologist or social worker about how to reduce this anxiety.

There may be services that can do a daily checkin, but I don't know much about them.

[Jasper]

I don't think your "fear" is unfounded. In fact, I don't really consider it a "fear." I would rephrase it and call it a well founded concern.

I also live alone. I have cats. I see friends and family, but not on a regular basis. I, too, could be dead or injured for awhile before someone might miss me.

My sister and I are in the process of setting up a system whereby I will call her every day or M-W-F and let her know I am fine. We don't have to talk a lot each time, just let her know that I am fine. If she does not get a call on the appointed dates, then she will know I am not okay.

Some people have a system where they call daily but do not talk. They let the phone ring twice or 3 times and then hang up, but the person on the other end of the line knows it is them calling and they are okay.

I think these systems are more common than we think they are. There are many people living alone and many do set up some sort of check in.

Also, you may want to have something in place, a plan, for your animals if something happens to you.

I don't think it is irrational fear. I think it is wise planning.

[mikew]

Systems like "Life assist" have sensors that detect activity in your household. 

lifeassistusa-medical-alarm-system.com/medical-alert-motion-detector/

[sixty]

Wow, I sure do appreciate the responses.  I think maybe I should set up an email correspondence with my son.  Maybe everyday just email that I'm ok.  Then if he doesn't get it for a day or 2 he should call me or act in some other way.  Jasper, thanks for your kind words and it's nice to know you can relate.

[jazzlover]

Yes, emailing would be good .. or as someone said, texting.

[warmwaters]

One of the answers reminded me that perhaps I was being insensitive to how you are feeling.  I didn't mean that your concerns weren't real, I was just trying to cover a range of possibilities.

Your latest comment about contacting your son sound very sensible, and if I've strayed from what makes sense for you, my apologies.

[sixty]

Warmwaters, you haven't offended me nor has anyone else.  Thank you all for the replies.

[katie1111]

If you live in the USA check with the Red Cross.  Our local one at least a few years ago had a service where someone called people who lived alone once a day.

Katie1111

[irish]

I think the smart phones are the best thing invented. It can be done more cheaply by having a family member purchase one through the company that they get their smart phones or cell phones from. It is much cheaper that way to purchase the phone. My phone was a gift and didn't cost much as it was part of a 3 person cell phone account renewal and I was added on. I pay my son 20$ a month for my share of the monthly cost.

I usually text a family member or they text me everyday. This way they know I am still up and about. I always carry my phone with me and I always wear my house key on a long key chain around my neck when I leave my house. This way I won't get locked out or left in an unsafe situation. It is work trying to keep oneself safe and accounted for as we age and as we suffer from chronic illness. Good luck. Irish

[SunshineDaydream]

My dad set up a system with his buddy where each has the other's house key and they call each other by a certain time each day and talk briefly just to check in. No phone call by the established time is cause for concern and either stop by the other's house for a welfare check or call the out of contact person's family member to do so.

My grandmother lived in an assisted living facility where the only monitoring or requirement was the residents had to retrieve their mail by a certain time of day. Failure to do so would result in a welfare check.

There are also electronic monitoring monitoring services you can check out. You would wear something around your neck that monitors movement and can detect a fall which alerts the service provider. I don't have any experience with one and don't know anyone who does, so I don't have a particular one to recommend.

Also, depending on what conditions or allergies you have and medications you take or shouldn't take, you may want to consider getting a medical bracelet if you don't already have one.
.