Educating Others?

[Pisces24]

I was wondering what is your reply/reaction to others who talk about you both disparingly behind your back and at times directly to you.

Believe it or not, I had a good friend tell me she "shut down" a new young coworker who has been running me down to others in the department. She is jealous I had lymphoma and thinks I am getting special treatment since coming back from chemo (back 6 mos now) and geesh  I look ok to her!  I am just flabbergasted that anyone could be so ignorant!  Jealous I had lymphoma?      

The only "special treatment" I got when I came back was no overtime the 1st month and that was dr's orders and that time, when I got home from work , I slept 2 hrs right away. I guess I could "whine" more, take off my wig and stop by her desk after I go up and down the stairs so she can see I am winded. I am just not that way.

I am STOIC like the rest of you here.  We are durn tough men and women here. But by being stoic, everyone thinks you are peachy. How do you reflect a balance?

[Cassi307]

Pisces
I am amazed that anyone could be jealous of anyone who has had lymphoma and chemo. That is total immaturity and ignorance.

You owe her NO explanations. Your health issues are none of her business. Your other co worker is a good friend who put her in her place. If it continues you should approach your supervisor or HR about this continued treatment. You are covered by the ADA and she is creating a difficult work environment for you. You do not need this kind of stress.

My hat is off to you. You are an amazing person who has overcome a serious health issue and has gone back to work. Best of luck.

[finallyadx]

Pisces - I totally agree with and support the previous poster.

You are an amazing person who has battled with and overcome such a huge health issue.  For someone to feel jealous of you for having been so sick, how sick is that of them?  I do not envy anyone who has had cancer but I admire you and so many others (my sister included) that has battled cancer and survived to tell about it.

Good for you for being back and work and trying to move on with your life - but shame on those who are talking behind your back.  Keep your chin up and keep looking forward as you are.

Your friend at work had your back - sounds like you surround yourself with supportive, good people, do not let the few that talk behind your back or do not support you get you down.  Be proud of what you have been through and survived. 

I also wholeheartedly support the previous poster in stating if the "talking behind the back" does not stop - go to a superior or HR - there is no need for someone who has already been through so much to have to worry about someone talking about them and creating an unhealthy work environment.

Best of luck to you - praying for continued health.

[Sleepy In Seattle]

Wow - what a jerk! (I was thinking another descriptive word there, but shouldn't type it on the forum, LOL...).

Definitely go to a supervisor if this continues. Or just give this ignorant person a nicely-wrapped carton of cigarettes when her birthday rolls around, with a card that says "I heard you were jealous of my cancer - here's something to help you toward your goal! Best of luck...". (kidding - KIDDING! Sorry - I've got a dark sense of humor. I'd never actually DO that to somebody...but somehow, imagining it lets some steam off!  )

Actually her comment is so outrageous that I actually feel kinda sorry for her - how shallow and awful does your life have to be, to be JEALOUS of somebody's cancer?! 

I am not sure that ANY amount of education will make a significant difference for somebody like that. Joking and anger aside, I guess that really the best you can do is do your job, be nice to everybody, and just be a better person than she is. I love the quote "Be the kind of person where - if somebody heard an ugly rumor about you - nobody would ever believe it". Sounds like you already have a friend/ally who knows better and is willing to stick up for you....this new person is just clueless.

So frustrating!!!!

[susanep]

My gosh!! People never cease to amaze me. You are a wonderful person doing the best of everything. She has serious issues, but they are not yours.

No stress for you. None!! lol....She is not worth it. You have enough on your plate to just get through your job, and be happy.

It is easy for anyone to tell you though. I went through issues at work before I retired that were unbelievable, and though I didn't have what you did, they acted similar. Hard as I tried not too, it bothered me.

But, the people here helped me a bunch, and we are here for you. NO STRESS! yes I am yelling. lol....

You take care girl
You are so worth it.

susanep