Forever keeping my promise . . . .

[Bucky]

To our members who have been here for a while, please bear with me yet again as I uphold my promise to Josh.
                 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have a nephew named Josh.  I have to give you a little background on Josh before I get to my promise.  Josh l-o-v-e-s souped up trucks.  The trucks with big wheels, loud mufflers, loud music, all the shiny chrome and flashy "extras".  With that being said, he also loves to take his trucks through the mud . . . literally!!  His truck would be covered from roof to wheels in mud and then he would turn around and detail it until it looked brand new.  When Josh isn't working, he's out with his buddies and their trucks and the mud.  Josh's chosen profession is landscaping - being in his early 20's, he is very good at it.

In the spring of 2004 Josh complained of pain in his chest area.  The doctor at the walk-in clinic chalked it up to a pulled muscle.  In June when I was visiting, Josh still complained of pain.  More time passed and they went to another doctor as things just didn't seem right that he would still be in pain months and months later.  To make a long story short, when the new doctor ran some blood work on Josh it came back that Josh had a rare liver cancer.  He had been misdiagnosed back in the spring and it was now early fall.  A whirlwind of doctor appointments followed and he was given the grim news that his cancer was too advanced for the medicines to work or for him to go into a clinical trial.  Six weeks from the time of Josh's new diagnose, he passed away at the age of 22.

I was fortunate to be a part of Josh's hospice team to be with him 24/7 for his last few days.  I made a promise to Josh that I would share his story to help save others from having to go through what he did.  IF you feel things in your body are not quite right and you are not getting any answers from the doctors . . . keep pursuing it. You have to be your own health advocate. Had they done some blood work in the very beginning, back in the spring, they would have found the cancer.  Because of Josh's age and his profession, the "pulled muscle" seemed like an acceptable diagnose.  It wasn't.  When you are explaining aches and pains to the doctors be as descriptive as you can be.  Is it throbbing, dull, sharp, intense, etc.?  Guys tend to downgrade the pain scale.  It was my SIL who noticed the grimace in Josh's face while he was dealing with the pain - it hurt a lot more than he was letting on.  We'll never know if Josh could have beaten this cancer had it been found earlier.

Josh's motto was:  "I will be heard!"

Josh - in every souped up truck, loud stereo, beautiful landscaped yard or business I think of you.  Every time I go to the doctor - I think of you.

Josh - today is your 31st Birthday!!  It just doesn't seem possible.  I've seen a lot of "Josh trucks" the last few days.  You're never far from my mind buddy.  Especially, since your cousin looks so much like you did when you were his age.  I love you, miss you, and hear you. (I've kept my promise to you too, and always will . . . love you forever!)  xoxoxo  Happy Birthday, Josh!!

Aunt Bucky

P.S.  To those of you who have a cancer history in your families - please, make sure and get regular screenings.  (In Josh's case, no one in our family had any history of liver cancer.)  It is my hope and prayer that someday researchers will find a cause and cure for all cancers.  Way too many lives are taken by this awful disease.  To our members who are dealing with a dx of cancer right now - keep the faith and know we are here to support you in your journey.

As I read our members stories here on this site, I have to emphasize that if you are not happy with the treatment (or non treatment) you are receiving from your current doctor(s) - find another doctor!  Don't let weeks, months and years go by not getting proper treatment - we know there is no cure for Sjogren's, but it can be managed.  You HAVE to be your own health advocate - nobody else can do it for you!

[Cassi307]

I am so sorry for your loss Bucky. Josh sounds like a wonderful young man.

Sometimes we all need to remember to not excuse those odd symptoms that give us pain or to allow doctors to give a vague diagnosis because they don't really know what something is. That is how I went untreated for years for Sjogren's. you are so right. We need to be our own advocates.

Thank you for the reminder.

[Cheryl]

Bucky,
What a loving tribute to Josh!  I wish you could go back in time and intervene for him. 

Thank you for reminding us again about the importance of paying attention to symptoms and seeking answers.   

[Ark mom]

Thank you for sharing your story, Bucky.  I am sorry for the loss of your beloved Josh, so young and full of life.  Hugs.  Thank you for using the painful reminder of his birthday to remind us to take better care of our health.

[odie]

With tears in my eyes upon reading about Josh, I do thank you for sharing his story and reminding us not to give up searching for answers.

[Carebear]

Bucky,

Thank you for the lovely tribute to Josh.  And for the important reminder.

Happy birthday, Josh.

[ellenkerr]

What an inspiring tribute to Josh.   Thank you for keeping the promise Bucky , that he will be heard. 

Josh, I heard you loud and clear....thank you,  I am calling to follow up with my doctor. 

[CMNK12]

Thanks Bucky for sharing your tribute with us. I cried as I read it.

Happy Birthday Josh.  You have an amazing Aunt. CK

[A66eyroad]

Happy birthday. Josh.  You were -- and are -- quite an inspiration.

Thank you, Bucky, for sharing Josh with us again.  I can see him smiling at you as you keep your promise to him.

And we're all the better for having heard his story.

[slccom]

Aww, Bucky! What a remarkable young man. There is nothing to make it better, but the chances that he would have survived with earlier diagnosis are pretty small. He may have had a better summer than he would have had he been treated earlier.

His love of life, and your love of him will make him live forever!

Hugs, Sharon

[engy]

Thanks for keeping your promise Bucky, Bless you & Josh.

[powderpuff]

Thank you for sharing Bucky Josh's story gives me renewed strength and vigilance.

Happy Birthday Josh!

[Meld256]

Bucky,

Each year you keep your promise, and each year it makes me cry and gives me a renewed vow to myself to be an advocate-for myself, my loved ones, my friends.

Josh will always be such an inspiration to all of us.

Thank you for sharing his story.
Hugs,
Melinda

[aussie mum]

Bucky,

Thank you so much for keeping your promise.

I have had virtually the same experience as you. My cousin Jeff passed away due to liver & pancreas cancer  three years ago aged 49. He was morbidly obese and his doctors put all his pain down to his weight. By the time anyone actually bothered to check, he was full of cancer and only lasted 2 months after diagnosis.

He had EXACTLY the same message - IF you feel things in your body are not quite right and you are not getting any answers from the doctors . . . keep pursuing it. You have to be your own health advocate.

I hope you all don't mind if I share my personal experiences after receiving this advice.

Thanks to Jeff, I pursued my own 'gut' feeling and insisted further testing be done on my Thyroid, despite a normal TSH. I ended up requiring a total Thyroidectomy with pre cancerous cells.

Lately, Jeff's advice has come through again for me. Years of Chronic back pain have now been found to be caused by Ankylosing Spondilitis. Yet again my body does not test positive for the gene, but hey, let's just get the disease anyway.

Thanks again Bucky,
Thinking of Josh & Jeff.

[Katybarstool]

Dear Mrs Bucky

It's a pleasure to read your tribute to Josh again, despite the sad story. What a lucky young man he was to have you for his auntie.

Kathyx