Feedback on work issues needed

[MaryBee7]

I would greatly appreciate ideas as I'm rather worn out in the brain and body.  What was the statistic...that we only use some minimal percentage of our brains?  Well, my statistic is in the minus column at this point.

I have around 14 days to actually be IN the office, before job is officially over with and I can begin to rest...have sick days to use up though those are down to around 7.   I know that must sound like a Piece O Cake, but the rub is my "fears" of a supervisor and an administrator.  If I weren't affected as much mentally, maybe I could keep it together and just get through it.  And maybe if  my GI tract wasn't rebelling, I could better handle the work stuff.  I do know that when I "Just" had CFS, I had a rough enough time  handling work.   

I'm not giving notice until the last Friday of this month, though my retirement people said they will be notifying my HR department "within approximately 1 month prior".   I can't handle giving my bosses any more than the acceptable amount of notice because of the demands that would be put upon me if I did.   Am waiting because I have a bit of a bonus check that is due to me and is normally paid each January...but the way that our claims cycle is falling, this bonus won't be paid to me until February 8...and that is my last day.  If I leave before that, am afraid it will mean forfeiture and I do need the extra cash. 

At this point I "freeze up" with confrontation and stress.  I think it's a protective mechanism.  I could maybe just freak the crap out of both my superiors and start telling poorly designed Sjogren's jokes    or even dancing a jig but don't trust myself to do either.  I have The Wobblies pretty bad, they'd probably say I was drunk and fire me. 

I'm up to date with almost everything that needs doing in my job.  I am in charge of a lot of health education programs, so if they aren't taken care of, there's no one else to do the work.  I'm the only person in my entire department that works without co workers to help out. 

Oh, let me add, the administrator is the same who threatened to fire me in 2009 when I was having way-alot of CFS symptoms...out of control fog/forgetfulness.  It was the last time I tried to stand up for myself because it got ugly and yes, I really did almost get fired.  Back then I had no...reins on myself, as I had no idea why I was losing it, brain-wise. 

I've been told "lay low" but that is hard to do where I work.  I could just stay in the staff restroom (and would be coming by that one honestly), but there's only one of those and eventually someone would have to use it.   

I guess what I'm asking is just support from you all.  I can't wait in many ways to have this incredible aggravation out of my life, and hoping it will lift some of the illness impact.    Thanks and I Love You Guys!

[slccom]

What a mess! You certainly work for and with some real jerks. I can't say this works, but try building a really detailed image of how you will spend your retirement time and energy. Visualize yourself after having time to really rest, then the fun things you will do. Plan a vacation. Hold on to that image when you feel stressed.

Then visualize your supervisor and administrator after you are gone. Visualize them sick and getting fired. Visualize them deciding whom to pick on when you are gone. Visualize whatever gives you joy and satisfaction.

You CAN get through this. If they start getting obnoxious, be sure to carefully log everything they do. If they are bad enough,  you can see a lawyer and sue them and get lots of money. Be sure to smile when they are being mean. It will confuse the heck out of them.

After all, you are escaping soon. And if they fire you before the bonus comes, well, that is totally illegal!

Oh. I always ask myself "Will this matter in five years?" If the answer is no, I ignore it to the best of my ability.

Hang in there. Be sure to vent as needed.
Hugs, Sharon

[MaryBee7]

Thank you, Sharon.  It's about standing tall and keeping going, for all of us, and my situation is not worse than the next.  It does help to read about others issues here as it keeps our own in perspective.  I've decided to fade into the wallpaper there...oh wait the office has none     so back to hanging out in the bathroom until it's over! 

[iraisin]

MaryBee, so sorry to hear of your troubles, but elated that you are not far from freedom.

Since your limited on the sick days, perhaps use the sick time to shorten your remaining days?

Good luck and many blessings to you.

[grammad97]

I worked for a government agency(state) & when I gave my notice I felt elated and free. I still did my job but frankly I didn't care whatthe supervisor said that was derogatory.  I ignored comments and saved myself the stress. Just do what you can do and don't worry that you are the only one that can do the job. Its their problem to figure out when you are gone. I made a list and steps detailing how to do certain tasks on the computer program which was specific for the agency. Glad you are almost through with the job. It was the best thing I did for my health.

[THE BRIT]

  I completely understand you.  My brain fog has gotten to the point of forgetting who I work with at times and keeping up is a struggle.  My supervisor was promoted a short while ago and I don't know anyone that thought she only got it because she had been there so long, not for any merit.  She used to sit behind me and she would come into the office around 3pm and I would hear the jingle of her keys and completely freeze up.  People felt bad for me that she did become my boss.  I have never been treated so badly by anyone the sarcasm and just out and out rudeness is unbelievable.  I would never treat my worst enemy that way.  Other people have said she is bullying me.  I requested a change of supervisor to the head of HR who I don't like either, but she must have been away so I waiting for stuff to hit the fan tomorrow.  I honestly don't care if they fire me at this point as it is not worth it.  The QA person who works opposite me is getting more work given to her because I am struggling and I feel terrible about, but she is the only one in the office who knows what is going on.  I have also had the 2 witches at the front desk be nice to my face and then report all sorts of things to high ups who completely believed them even though one of them has a reputation for doing this and lying about people.
  I am desperate for a new job, but don't know how I would get through an interview or learn a new job.  You are lucky to just have 2 weeks left.  One thing we did in my last job with 1 member of staff who went for everyone, we felt sorry that she felt she had to behave that way.  People stopped responding to her nasty e mails and she was the one who ended up looking stupid.  I keep getting told that I give the people the power to do that to me and I have just have to stand up for myself. 
  Good luck for your last 2 weeks, I know you will be able to get through it.

[quietdynamics]

MaryBee7
You are stronger than you 'think', and we are witness to that fact...you have made it this far and you will make it through the the next 14 days.

Focus on the fact that it is  almost over. 

[MaryBee7]

Do those of you working have struggles, and what kind?  Brit, I am so with you and my heart goes out to you.  I will be jumping from the pan to the fire, financially but know, know know that I either leave now or be carried out.  I am just developing complications too quickly with this illness. 

I would be happy to hear other's stories about work, if anyone wants to share.  And thanks everyone!