Not moving

[ashewoman]

Okay... I've been keeping you guys abreast of the situation as it was unfolding with my possible move.  I thought I was going to have to move.  I found out 2.5 hours ago that I still can if I want to but I don't have to.  Part of me was really mad.  I wanted to until I thought of the trouble and expense it was going to cause.  But I'm not one who takes all this yanking around well and I've been known to cut off my nose to spite my face in similar situations before.  Now that I've had time to calm down I wish I was happy about it.  But I'm not.  My brain just can't catch up with the ups and downs.  Maybe it is the brain fog they talk about.  But I just thought that was being forgetful.  This is more like my brain is stuck in the idea of when I had to move and can't seem to wake up to the reality that I don't have to so I should be able to relax now.  I'm still in hyperdrive or something... like I keep obcessing about what I've got to do next and then I realize "duh" I don't have to do that but instead of being relieved I'm just pissed that I'm not thinking clear.  It's frustrating as all get out and I'm sure when I've had time to readjust in a day or two I'll be in a better mood but right now I just want to scream or hit something.  I want my peace of mind back and the month that I spent frazzled... okay enough whining from me.  It's just stressful even when you get what you want to accept the changes.  GG

[Katybarstool]

Ashe

It sounds like you're in a horrible pickle today. As Joe says, just breathe ... relax and get yourself rested. It sounds like you have had a horrible month, and now you need some 'me' time.

Hugs
Kathyx

[ashewoman]

thanks Kathy!  I am feeling better after I've had some time to absorb it all.  Stress just makes all my symptoms worse.  GG

[slccom]

I'd rather have surgery than move. Knowing that you don't have to should do a lot to reduce stress!

Congratulations!
Sharon

[ashewoman]

Thanks sharon!  I'm starting to gear down from the whole AHHHH shock of the change.  I really wish the world worked so that transitions were a little less dramatic.  Not OH you gotta go! or Oh you're not going anywhere!  LOL  GG

[slccom]

I hate the transitions! I would rather have a sudden one than one that dragged on for years.

I'm glad you don't have to move.
Sharon

[iraisin]

This goes on about the positive things for not having to move:
No electric transfer fees and deposits for your energy
No physical stress of moving
No mental stress of moving
No transfer of phone service
No transfer of internet service
No transfer of mail service
No learning a new neighborhood and neighbors
No pings on your credit for changing addresses or credit checks
No packing
no unpacking
No initial cleaning of new place
no post move cleaning of old place
your plants won't go into shock and possibly die
no wearing out your friends and family with the sofa and mattress moving
No hiring of movers if the above listed item isn't an option

There are so many things to be happy about not having to do.

I am happy for you, and glad things are settled for you.

Rejoice!!!

[ashewoman]

Thanks Iraisin for putting it in perspective with a great gratitude list.  I've decided to put my energy into maybe making this place more aesthetically pleasing for me to live in.  I'm sewing some cute little curtains for the living room.  Found a really good sale on material for $2.49 a yard.  Next up is the bedroom curtains.  Lastly I may paint this ugly wood paneling one wall at a time.  Sounds like I've got a year until anyone will be coming back into my apt and the way I see it if she's not giving me my deposit back ever which she kinda proved to me this time, I can paint it all beige and not feel like I'm in a cave.  She can huff and puff all she wants to later about damages but my kitchen cabinets have holes chewed in them from whoever lived here before's dog so I hardly think I could "damage" this place by slapping a neutral paint color on and hanging curtains.  Good grief I may get real energetic and cover the hole that goes clear up into my attic with insulation hanging out in the entry way LOL.  IF I ever do have to move this place will be so much more rentable.  And since I'm not moving I'd kind of like to lighten up this dark hole.

And thanks slccom for sympathizing.  It's terrible to feel like you are sort of a big whining baby throwing a tantrum sometimes but its impossible to be a grown up all the time.  Sometimes, I wonder if faking like everything is okay isn't what made me sick in the first place.  Whether it did or didn't I can't fake it anymore.  I've lost the ability to pretend like everything is okay when its not.  Maybe that is for the best.  WHo knows?  GG

[Katybarstool]

GG, sounds like a good plan. You shouldn't have to live in a miserable environment. Get those paint cans out and stamp your mark on the place! What colour are the curtains?

Kathyx 

[ashewoman]

Boring-- lol beige flowers on beige but I wanted something I could ignore that let in light and was dirt cheap so it works.  Thanks Katy

[Katybarstool]

It doesn't sound boring to me. Are you making scatter cushions too? I'm useless at craft type things, but I love pottering in bargain basements for bits and bats to furnish the house. I'm in my 'bright's phse' just now, with lots of red, black and white. It's very cheerful, so long are you are wearing sun glasses

Kathyx