I need prayers

[Meld256]

susanep,

How very sweet of your husband to get you a little table and lamp; sounds as if it lifted your spirits a bit.

As Irish put so well, grief is an odd thing.  And you know, not many of us are taught how to deal with it. Seems strange when we will all experience it sometime, unfortunately.

It's very important to remember that your grief and however you grieve is all right; there is no wrong or right way. If it helps you to write your mother, for example, then go for it.  People do different things.  After my mother passed, my dad would get out the tons of pictures he had from over the years and we'd talk about Mom and tell stories. 

If you know the author, Max Lucado, he has some great books, and they are faith-based.  Just a thought for you.   I'll look to see if he has articles online.
Also, the people who work with Hospice are wonderful.  You may be able to call your local one and ask to speak to someone if you'd like or feel comfortable doing that. I don't think it matters if your family had them for support or not. 

Please remember that many of us here will continue to pray for you, and you can come to us at any time at all.  We're like family, right? 

Melinda

[Meld256]

susanep,

Just letting you know you are still in my prayers.  

We care about you.
Melinda

[susanep]

Thank you all, and yesss you are my family. I am doing a bit better, but at night it will hit me when I least expect it. I know it's all a process.

We have been helping my dad a lot, and that helps me. My youngest sister and her husband is taking dad out for dinner Friday, and to some place out of town that they know he would like.

My brother as I have probably said before, not sure with my ever worsening brain fog, well, he drives a truck across country, but when he comes in he has been seeing dad. He was always I think closest to mom, so it must be really hard on him, but he seems to be drawing closer to dad.

My sister that is 4 years younger than me, is dealing with it in a different way. She is having sudden health issues like passing out in stores etc. Always being rushed to the hospital until they did heart tests on her, but the Cardiologist himself called me and told me she is ok, but just worries a lot.

One really nice thing that would make my mother happy is since she passed away all of us that at one time wouldn't have been in as close contact with some are all in contact now and closer than we ever have been knowing what mom would have wanted. It's been a blessing. So she is still doing good as a result of her death. I hope that doesn't sound bad.

susanep

[Bucky]

Susan - thinking of you today.   

I don't remember if I mentioned this to you before or not, but it might help you feel a bit better if you would either get a sweater or something that belonged to your mom, and when you are feeling particularly sad for her, you could wrap up in her sweater and feel her with you.

Another thing I did was take my mom's clothes and had them made into memory quilts.  One for my dad, and one each for my brothers and one for me.  That way, I have a heirloom created from moms clothes.  Plus, I have several pictures of her wearing the various clothes within these quilts.  It makes me happy to see these quilts.  Although, I miss my mom, it reminds me of her love and the fun times we had together.

Back in a post from April you mentioned:  "All the way back in high-school, I loved writing poetry, but it has always come out the best when I am going through something emotional."  I wonder if you ever get out your paper and pen and try writing some poetry when you're sad?  It might be good therapy for you.

I hope with time that your heart won't feel so heavy and you can find peace and joy in remembering your mom and what she means to you, your dad, and your siblings. 

Sending a hug & prayers,
Bucky

[Cricket]

Susan

I also kept my mom's wedding ring, so I wear it when I feel the need to feel her with me, plus when I need my dad cause he designed it.

Hope you are feeling better.  Praying for you!

Cricket

[sass]

Susan,  What a terrible loss for you...My mom has been gone for 11 years now and I can say that time does help with the pain and healing..

I am sending those prayers for you and for you Dad....and also for that precious man that thought to do something special for his wife during her time of grief and need!! 

The thing with my Mom, when she passed I knew that is exactly what happened!!!

SHE PASSED..WITH AN A+...  An Ambassador for God she was able to leave her pain behind her and get to go on to a place that we could not imagine...

MY MOTHER, who did not finish the 8th grade and always felt inadequate because of it...accepted and completed HER ASSIGNED MISSION for GOD and SHE PASSED!!

I learned a lot about what the WILL of God Means and the Will of Me does not mean!!

I often like to think of her in heaven (Kinda like that dream vacation we all know we can't ever afford or just will never go) that is filled with flowers and waterfalls spilling over.  Running and skipping....And Laughing!  She throws her head back and laughs and laughs....When I see her like this, she is in her 30's or so.. Beautiful auburn hair and tinkling laughter..And they all play like little children...pain free, worry free,  everyone loving each other, no wars, no crime, no mosquitos, no calories!!  lol

Then sitting at the feet of God and listening to his wonderful voice..I do not believe that they are looking down on us..There are no tears or sorrow in heaven and if they did they would see our pain, instead of our joy for them..their time is spent in content and i think they look forward to the time when we get to join them, when our mission is complete..

My Dad is 85 and has been pondering for the last year...why him..why is he still here..he hurts, has health issues etc...he sleeps a lot and is often bored..has recurring,violent, scary horrible nightmares from wartimes...  and I tell him we just don't know what God's mission is for him next.  He scoffs and says there is no more mission for an old man like me.  But then I get this illness..I can lay beside him and cry like a baby in his arms if I need to, with no worry of being anything but loved..He holds me, strong as a young man and soothes me..he tells me that he is so glad that God has giving him the reason for his mission..He can help me a little bit financially with medications and such..HE KNOWS THAT I NEED HIM TO BE HERE WITH ME....But he knows now, what he has always taught me all along.  God is the only one who knows when the timing is right.  He knows what we do not.

I know this is long and hope I have not offended anyone, But my mission is out there too and I just wanted you to know that we all have much love for you and are holding our arms open to hold you...much love and affection     ~sass~

[sktaylor]

Keeping you in my prayers today.