Sjogrens World Forums

Sjogrens Topics => Living Life In Spite of Sjogren's => Topic started by: Poochie on July 18, 2009, 12:24:40 PM

Title: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: Poochie on July 18, 2009, 12:24:40 PM
 Theft Problem - IMPORTANT MESSAGE:

You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs.  Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans.  And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear-end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original!  I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arm swing to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary ? my body was being replaced one s ection at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee! Those 'plastic' surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me! The next time someone you know has something 'lifted', look again - was it lifted from you?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS!

P. S. Last year I thought someone had stolen my Boobs. I was lying in bed and they were gone! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

These same thieves come in my closet and shrink my clothes! How do they do it? ::)

Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: tomsmom on July 18, 2009, 12:27:28 PM
LOL!!!! ;D
Thank you.  I needed that laugh!
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: lynnmarie219 on July 18, 2009, 08:39:26 PM
(http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-laughing021.gif) (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Oh Pooh....You still have that sense of humor! That's part of what we love about you!

Thanks for posting this...as I have been a victim of this terrible crime too!  ;)

Good job at hiding your boobs....that will keep them safe!
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: yodeb on July 19, 2009, 10:37:28 AM
Love it!  Hysterical... :)
Thanks for the laugh!!!

~deb
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: kimbo on July 19, 2009, 12:38:57 PM
Oh Pooh I am soooo glad you have figured out this great mystery.

Now I have yet another reason to stay awake all nite long.

Thank you very much     ;D  kimbo
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: Bucky on July 19, 2009, 12:51:02 PM
Good one Pooh!!   ;D
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: Patze on July 19, 2009, 06:48:23 PM
Ah Pooh, thanks for the "heads up", and for the good laugh, I sure needed it tonight!


Patze
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: nursenoor on July 19, 2009, 08:11:51 PM
ROFL :D
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: irish on July 19, 2009, 09:00:16 PM
Poochie, You are either feeling better or getting worse cause you are started to have delusions. That is just about the funniest thing I have heard in a long time. Too much time on your hand Poochie!!!! More! More! I need more like that to lift my spirits. Now I know what happened to all my "parts" that I know didn't come with the original package. Irish ;D
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: Bonnie on July 20, 2009, 03:07:14 AM
Ha Ha, today I was needing a good laugh  ;D Thanks Pooh
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: Dolly Dimples on July 21, 2009, 09:30:23 AM
  Tee Hee,  Thank's Pooh,
                                   Your right tho'.  Every day I look in the mirror and say, where is that girl gone,that I used to know ?

                                    Guess its an old age problem!
                                                                                Great stuff, Dolly. x
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: Jules48cats on July 21, 2009, 06:56:06 PM
Thanks Pooh  That was way too funny and I needed a good laugh!
Jules
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: beverly jane on July 21, 2009, 08:09:53 PM
just what I needed . Thanks for the laugh. even though it is the sad truth lol
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: Bobbie on July 22, 2009, 02:31:34 PM
OMG!!!!!  That was hilarious.  Thanks, I needed that today.
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: jaygee on July 22, 2009, 02:41:56 PM
Oh my!  It happened to you, too !!!!!     xx
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: BonusMom on August 20, 2009, 07:00:51 AM
I, Too, have been abducted!  At least I FINALLY know what happened :)
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: Bernice on August 20, 2009, 03:38:14 PM
They didn't steal anything from me. Guess those dirty dogs musta brought fat from somebody's liposuction and disposed of it in my butt and thighs! Now I know why I woke up one day and found more than I went to bed with. It has been a great puzzlement for me. Thanks I keep a night vigil from here on out to be sure they don't come with more!

Good looking out!

Bernice
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: pocahontas_1960 on August 21, 2009, 04:42:11 PM
This was too funny Pooh, Thank you for making my day.  It was my first smile in awhile.     lol
Title: Re: WARNING!!! New Problem------
Post by: ericswifey27 on August 24, 2009, 12:54:53 AM
I totally needed that! LOL!