Mum is normally a very fit and active 74 year old - in fact she can usually walk and do things much faster than me. Yesterday, she was in the queue at the bank and when the person in front moved, mum tried to follow and fell over. The result is a badly broken ankle, and an emerald green plaster caste up to her knee. As a consequence, she has been given a zimmer frame to walk with - and she is absolutely mortified, at being treated like an 'old lady!
To be honest, she was pretty scared when it happened, and wouldn't allow my sister to call an ambulance. Instead, she got herself home in a taxi, before calling another sister to take her to be checked out. The break seems pretty bad. There was talk at one point about surgery to put pins in, but that was discounted for now. She refused to be kept in the hospital, as she said 'her girls' would look after her.
She lives in a very old two storey cottage and can't get upstairs, so we have re-arranged her kitchen to put in a folding bed for her. She also has a downstairs toilet, so that helps a lot. Today she has felt battered and bruised, and can't put her foot to the ground. She has had lots of visitors today, so that has helped. She can't come to stay with us, as our house has lots of stairs, and no downstairs bathroom, so now my siblings and I are trying to draw up a rota to look after her - and keep her out of mischief!
I may need to consult with some of you nurses about some practicalities - such as, how do I shower her with a plaster caste? Also, ideas about her carrying things while using the walker? I'm sure you will have lots of practical tips. We are still trying to work out how to keep her reasonably independent while we are at work during the day.
One good thing has come out of this accident, as my youngest sister, whom I haven't seen for 2 years, was at mum's last night, and we had a hug. This was wonderful as, although we live only a few miles away, we had not spoken for 2 years due to a family trouble maker. In that two years the SJS has made a real impact on my life, which I don't want to go into too much detail about with my sister just now, as she has commented to others in the past that I am too pre-occupied with my health. This has caused me a problem thoughas tonight, when she called and suggested we get a wheelchair to take mum out, she was a bit put out when I said there is no way I can push one. To be honest, this past couple of days, I've had all on to put one foot in front of the other, let alone push someone around.
Anyway, I'm sure we will get to know each other again, and hopefully learn to work with each other's limitations in time. Mum has been concerned about the rift in the family, and when she saw the two of us hugging, she looked overwhelmed. She's probably thinking, every cloud has a silver lining.
I don't know why I'm telling you all this really, as it sounds confusing, but I know you will understand.
Hugs
Kathyx
I have some advise for you, keeping older folks out of mischief is near impossible when they get hurt. I suggest hand cuffing her to the toilet if she is to be left alone, I'm speaking from experience. As far as showering with a plaster cast, cover it with a garbage bag, just make sure you remove the garbage, or use a clean one, it worked great for me and my wife when we had plaster casts on our foot.
Awww, Kathy, sorry to hear about poor Mum, hope it won't be too long before she is up & about again... Good job this diden't happen before your lovely week in Rome with Mum...
Nice tale about your sister tho'. This thing about other people not understanding about SS is always cropping up!
Maybe it's time we found a way of getting it made more aware of! tho' how is the age old question.. I have often thought about writing to Dr Chris on This Morning about SS, but I'm not really the lime light seeker!! (coward)
Sorry I can't give advice on dealing with Mum in her incapacity, but am sure you will get some ..
Coulden't social workers come round to help? A lady in our street who uses a zimmer has them bringing meals and washing & dressing her in the morning and evening.. If you are all working I am sure they could advise....
Of course you want to talk about Mum, and all that has happened, so why not here? We certainly dont mind!
Hope things come right soon.. Dolly x
HAHA... WHAT are you like Epsom!
You can always make us smile through the gloom...
Dolly
Sorry to hear of your Mum's fall, but she sounds like a gal who can handle it, for sure!
Showering with a cast can be a challenge, but the easiest way if to pull a plastic bag over the cast and tape it securely to the skin above the cast, with no gaps between the tapes, then sit in a waterproof chair (like the plastic garden chairs) and use a hand held shower nozzle (you can get one to replace a regular shower head and install it easily).
Carrying things with a walker can be pretty easy if you hook a small basket or cloth bag over the frame, or, if it has a seat, sit a box or basket on that. Using a shoulder bag is handy, too, and I found, when I was on crutches, that I could carry my cuppa (addicted to my tea ;)) if i used a travel mug with a cover, so I didn't have to worry about sloshing over.
Sorry to hear about your mum's accident...but it sounds like she will be fine with all of the company and family to help her out! She must be special and well loved!
We use all kinds of ideas to help with carrying things with walkers....the bags and baskets like Linda mentioned work very well. You can buy them or make them very easily if you or someone you know can do a quick little sewing job! A fanny pack or waist pack or whatever they are called can also work pretty good too if the person doesn't have a lot to tote around.!
I hope your mum heals fast and you and your sister can start fresh with your relationship! It sounds like you are all off to a good start!
Hi Kathy
I think it's wonderful that you came here to share your worries. That's why we're your Sjoggie 'family' - we're here when you need us, and you're there when we need you.
So sorry to hear about your Mum's accident. It sounds as though the strong spirit of hers that meant she got a taxi home is what will keep her going. And how lovely to hear about your hug with your sister. It could be a real breakthrough although it sounds as though she's got a little way to go in understanding quite how SjS affects your life. Maybe you could tell her that you got disability advice from your friends here so she understands that some of us here use wheelchairs, walkers, and other disability aids. And what that implies about SjS.
I'd like to echo the advice the others gave you although it had never occurred to me to empty the rubbish out of the bin bags before using them. Thanks Epson - you've shown me where I've been going wrong all these years and changed my life! No more mouldy tea bags on my knees for me ...
After my accident a couple of months ago I showered just as Linda said, although it was my head I had to protect. I found using a series of sponges or face cloths for washing and rinsing was gentler than relying on the force of water. If she doesn't have a separate shower cubicle you may need to find a little stool to put in her bath, something like the little steps toddlers use to reach the washbasin?
I use a walker all the time and both of mine have little baskets, but I also hang a bag round my neck/shoulders for extra things I want to carry or for the stairs. Does she have a mobile phone? If so, that should be in a shoulder bag as well as a list of phone numbers. Or maybe now is the time for one of those personal alarms to alert a call centre if she needs help? Do you own a wheelchair? If not, you can hire them from the Red Cross or from any disability support centre. Most local councils have them and you'll find them on the council's web site or c/o hospital physios or OTs. You should all be aware of the strain on your backs from lifting her and also from pushing the wheelchair, but OTs should be able to advise on that too. If she doesn't have a Blue Badge now might be the time to apply for one.
Hope you're coping ok with this extra stress. Haven't you got appointments coming up soon?
Thinking of you - Chickpea
Hi Kathy :)
Your Mum sounds quite amazing for her age. Now - what services are there in your area that can help you out here? Where I live there is a service called "Integrated Community Equipment Service". I didn't get in touch with them but the hospital must have when I was going in for a knee operation, which is a lot simpler than a badly broken ankle. They came to the house and assessed my needs before the op. They fitted my stairs with a second hand rail so there is a rail on both sides and its made life a lot easier!! They provided me with a bath board so I could sit on it to have a shower. I'm quite sure they would have provided a shower seat if that is what was necessary.
I'd get in touch with your health visitior and ask about services like that. It's great when families rally around but if there is also help at hand - why not use it!! The number on the back of my form is 0845 111 1155. I don't know if that's national or local but they may give advice or another number if contacted.
A wheelchair is a good idea too. Someone else can push it! Your Mum sounds spry enough to give a mobility scooter a go once she's recovered a bit!
You look after yourself too. You don't want stress making things worse.
Take care - Scottie :)
Hi Folks
Thank you for your words of wisdom and kind thoughts. I knew you would be helpful. I will be looking into the basket for the walker as soon as possible. By the way, the walker is just a basic frame, so it doesn't have a seat. Maybe we need to look into something a little more useful. Also, I've just realized, plastic bag or not, there is no way we could get mum up her very steep staircase for a shower, so I guess a hose pipe in the yard will have to do :)
Epson, going to find some cuffs - seen a beautiful pair with pink fur linings ;)
Chickpea, yes, I see the surgeon next Wednesday, with a view to sorting out a date for the prolapse surgery. I don't really want to delay it, as I need to be 'done'. However,I also need to do my share for mum, so I will have to take that into consideration. I'll just see how it goes.
Kathyx
Kathy, Sorry about your mum. The baskets that are for children's bikes might work well for the walker. The hose pipe in the yard creates quite a pic in the hear. Good luck Roxanne
kathy
youve been given great advice, no more i can add to that.
Sorry to hear your mums had the accident, but i know from expereince with my gran, you just cant keep a good yorkshire woman down long, and im sure she will heal soon, as for the bruising and swelling, arnica homeopathic tablets, you can get them in health food stores and boots chemist, speed up the healing of bruising and swelling immensely and takes inflammation down, might be an idea to help her along the road to recovery.Also zinc supplement as zinc is what the body uses to heal.
if she cant get upstairs for a wash i guess it will be a basin , sit he ron a chair, and give her a good soap down over a towel on floor,it will do till she can get upstairs. The basic zimmer frames are kind of clumbsy, the ones with wheels relators are better for them to manage, unless the carpet is really deep piled.
take care of you as wel, all this wont help you and sure your ssiter doesnt understand, but that doesnt take away from the fact your ill too.I know you want to take your share in mum`s care, but same token your not entirely fit to take too much on, so please try not to over do it, youve already been having a falre up , so allowances have to be made for your health too, and prolapse surgery is needed, your ssiters will have to understand that, even if that doesnt suit everyone.
take care of you and your mum, thought with you both
T x
Thoughts with you both Kathy - hope you are getting chance to rest too. My mum has been in a wheelchair since a stroke 4 years ago and I know exactly what you mean about the wheelchair-pushing; it's really hard work!
I think with all this, keeping a sense of humour will help no end. One day my mum decided she wouldn't bother my dad to put the lowering seat mechanism back in the bath, she'd just get in and manage. Well, she got in but there was no way she could get out. She shouted for dad and he came to 'help'. By chance, I called in and found dad paddling at the end of the bath, trousers rolled up and trying to heave her up and out! It hadn't occurred to either of them to let the water out 1st!!
Mum's arthritis is really bad in her hands at the moment and she can't manage to put on her elastic surgical stocking that she needs. Has anyone ever tried to put them on someone else? It shouls be an olympic sport! I was completely worn out by the time we'd got them past her knees.
Hope between you all, you're managing Kathy. Let us know how you go on, but remember to say when it's too much xx Ailsa
Ailsa, the story of your mum and dad in the bath really made me laugh. Who ever said you can be too old to bathe together eh :)
Mum lives in Tradesmens Homes. There are four terraces of houses around a quadrangle, with an amazing garden in the middle. She's only been there since October, but she loves it, and has made some new friends. When I went down to get her organised for overnight, she told me there was a 'communal' wheelchair in the little community centre attached to the houses. I went and wheeled it up to her house, and my sister is going to give her a trial run in it tomorrow.We were laughing tonight about borrowing mobility scooters from the supermarket at the weekend, and having races around the store ;D
Wenesday, you are very sweet. Thank you for your tips and kindness. I feel so much better after reading everyone's posts.
Epson, mum refused to be cuffed to the toilet, so I'll have to think of some other way of containing her!
Hugs
Kathyx
Kathy
My mom had a walker and bought a tray that fit the walker from handle to handle. it was great. sorry to hear of her fall and pray that she will heal fast.
Cricket
Kathyx,
Slip her a sedative in a stiff drink, when she wakes up, she'll thank you for the soft pink fur on her cuffs, all kidding aside I have purchased several walkers for family members and have found the the 3 wheeled ones with hand breaks are the best. They can manoeuvr in tight spots and have smother movement.
harrigan
as a nurse in elderly for many years im a gold medalist now lol but yes not easy!!
T x
Cricket - Thank you! We firmly believe in the power of prayer.
Epson - yes, a couple of whiskies and she should sleep soundly ;D
We are going to my aunties 70 birthday party tonight. Not decided whether the walker or wheelchair will be the mode of transport for when we get there, but I think we will have a really good time. I love meeting the older relatives, who still have discos at their parties, and hopefully 50s and 60s music. I just love to watch them dancing.
Will let you know how it goes.
Kathyx
Kathy, will your Mum be "break dancing"?
Kathy - hope you all have a great time at the family party. Dance the night away!
Thinking of you - Chickpea
ps lol @ Linda!
kathy
have a great time!! i recon take both the chair and the zimmer, that way your bases are covered, but the chair means she can take the weight off her leg as well.
hope you all have a great time!!
T x
Kathy,
I'm thinking of you and more than a little worried you will overdo~
Be so careful of yourself, honey.
Janna
Kathy, Sorry to read of your Mom's ankle episode and glad that she has family and a good place to live. It is a good thing that she did this now instead of in the dead of winter. At least she can get outside some and life won't be as boring.
Linda---that was a really good one. I'm proud of you cause you pulled that one out of the hat just like that!!!!! Irish ;D
Hu Lovely people
Mum had a good time last night. I think just getting out of her home was a tonic for her. It was lovely to see 7 of her siblings, including two of her brothers, who she doesnt see very often.
I called for her this morning and took her to the hairdresser. It was a bit tricky, but a combination of hopping and the zimmer got her there. That cheered her up no end. My sister has worked the rota out so someone will visit and 'do' for her each day. I have a couple of days off work now, so will try to pacwe myself with my jobs and mum's.
I have another water infection, but think I have caught it early enough, so the Trimethoprim is lessening the symptoms. This si the second one inthree weeks, so hopefully the surgeon will take that into consideration and give me an early date for the surgery.
Hoping everyone is well and happy.
Kathy
PS MUm loved the joke abo0ut break dancing.
kathy
awww lovely :)
On the water front, cranberry juice is really good for this, if you dont like the juice, you can get cranberry tablets at health food store, might keep them at bay till the op , i know it really helps a lot of ppl, even gaive it out on the wards here for ppl with cystitis and repeated infection
T x
Well, spoke too soon! I was in agony this morning with abdominal pain. I could'nt stand upright and and had some blood on underwear. As I don't have monthlies as longer, that was a bit of a shock. I booked in with an urgent care doctor. He examined me and suggested that the Trimethoprim I was given on Friday was not doing anything.He thought the blood was related to the infection. Now I have keflex and co-codamol to add to my pharmacy.
I'm resting up now, but feel really guiilty at not being on the rota to look after mum. I just hope this does not queer the relationship with my youngest sister again.
Speak soon,
Kathyx
Hope they work quickly Kathy - nothing worse than that feeling. Have lots of warm baths and try not to feel bad about letting others take the strain for a few days. Rest up xx Ailsa
Hi Kathy :)
The very last thing your Mum would want would be for you to make yourself more unwell because you were looking after her! You know that's so. Siblings may be less understanding - well hard cheese!
You rest up and get yourself evened out. Your Mum's going to need help for a while. I'm sure you'll get your turn.
Take care - Scottie :)
Katy Honey,
I was afraid this would happen!
Sending you love and support,
Janna
Hi folks
Thank you for your thoughts and kind words.
I've been resting today, and feel less sore. Can't wait to have the appointment with the consultant tomorrow and get a date to get things fixed.
Had a text message and then an email from my youngest sister last night. She has drawn up another rota of helpers for mum, including people who are not usually asked to do things for mum, such as my brother in law and a couple of nephews. Mum also has some good neighbours, who would be happy to draw her curtains and make her a cup of tea. My niece is going to approach them tonight, which means that non of the relatives will have to drive miles just to do the basics like that. Of course, one of us will go and spend more time with her each day, and do shopping etc. I'm off the rota for this week, but willcall her each day, and once I'm feeling better, I will give her bonus visits :)
Thanks for caring.
Kathyx
Kathy,
Prayers and hugs for you and Mum and family.
I hope you find resolve that may really keep you well from this pain. The phone calls to your mum will mean a lot to her and you too.
I hope and pray your family (lil sis) is able to understand, also that they develop understanding for your health issues.
blessings kimbo