When does it ever end? On Monday, I informed the human resource person that I might have to take some time off of work, depending how I react to my chemo therapy. I assured her take I had some to cover me in my absence. She was very sympathetic and said, no problem, I am sure that it is a scary time for you.
This empathy was frightening, I always call these people in this position, Inhuman Resources, maybe I was wrong?
After work I went to see my Dad at the hospice, when I entered his room, I found him dead. Now I was prepared for his inevitable demise, that's what a hospice is for, but seeing his corps was something I was not prepare for. This was a vision that took several days to get out of my head, kind of like walking in on your parents while they're having sex, that never happened to me, but I can imagine the trauma, not a good visual.
Now the guy was 87 and I am OK with it now, no need for folks to say I am sorry for you loss, as my Dad would say, at my age every day is a good day when you wake up in the morning.
What I was unprepared for happened yesterday, at the end of the day I was told that the Human Resource manager wanted to see my, this could only mean one thing!
They would have to let me got because my condition means that I might miss work and being part time, I didn't have enough time to qualify for FML. In plain speak, you have cancer please leave now. They don't even pay part timers for sick days, I think it is because several people have been off of work due to life threatening illnesses.
Now I will be all right financially, well given the economy I guess no one can say that, not even Donald Trump, but what blows the wind out of my sails is how anyone could do that job, you have to be one cold hearted bitch :(
No matter his age the loss of ones parent is a terrible loss,My heart goes out to you.It must have been a very surreal experience to walk in and find out that way.As for your job,talk about hitting someone when they're down.Shame on them!It's the way of the world now isn't it?Used to be people were more important then the almighty dollar but not anymore.Showing my age I guess but it's just not right to be so unfeeling.So sorry Epson I hope for luck anytime soon.
Ruby
Epson,
So sorry. :(
I know what you mean about inhumane resources. We have medical facilities in our area called "Mercy medical" when I am unhappy with them, I call them "NO Mercy medical" Some times life just ain't fare.
My favorite scene in the movie Forrest Gump, is when the young women is throwing rocks at the home she was raised in. (she was abused in the home)
Forrest Gump says..."sometimes there is just not enough rocks"....... I think there is something to be said about the therapy of rock throwing. It has to be better than hitting a wall with your fist. As some of you guys do ;D.
I hope you have lots of memories of your father to replace in the corpse memory. Push it out with good stuff. :)
kimbo
Oh boy - 2009 is getting no better for you. :(
I am sorry for your loss. It must have been awful to walk in and be the one that found him.
I think being asked to leave your job stinks. Really bad. I hope you can use all your energy to fight your way through the coming weeks and months. I can't imagine you just doing nothing somehow. Do you have a blog? It would make good reading.
Take care - Scottie :)
Holy Freaking Cow!
What you've described doesn't even happen in the movies! Geeze!
Epson, my dear friend, there are no words to cover these topics appropriately.
The thing with your dad must have been...for lack of a better word....STUNNING, MIND NUMBING, HEART BREAKING. He wasn't afforded that privacy we all imagine for ourselves and you had something taken from you in that moment that I cannot imagine. I understand your analogy perfectly, as I felt a jolt of adrenaline when I read your post.
As to the HR lady. There is a special place in He** for her. She'll be right near the health insurance people.
I wish I could write about this better. I wish I could express my very sincere feelings of empathy, amazement and concern for you, sir.
I am both enraged and so very sorry that your week has been thus.
Janna
Epson, I have nothing to say that hasn't already been said. I know that sinking feeling you got in your gut when you found your Dad, I felt it when I found my Mother in the ICU unit. There are no words to describe that feeling. :(
Hang in there, and know that all of us here are praying for you and rooting for better luck down the road.
Pooh
Epson, i cannot add any more to what has been said already, except for my son's favorite saying "MEAN PEOPLE SUCK !!!!"
Collie
Epson,
I am sorry for the loss of your father, any time we lose our parents is a tough time, whether we are expecting their passing or not. When my mother passed away almost four years ago under hospice care we were expecting it, yet you're never "ready" for it once it happens. I also know what it's like to walk in and find a loved one deceased - my sister passed away seven yrs. ago and I was the one to discover this. It's never easy. My thoughts are with you. Cherish your happy memories of your Dad.
I'm also sorry for your job loss. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I doubt it was JUST the Human Resource Manager that made the decision. It was probably made by upper management and the HRM was the "messenger" to give the news to you. Any way you look at it, it was a bum deal. :(
Hang in there Epson . . . we're all here for ya.
Bucky
Bucky,
You're probably right about the Human Resources just following orders, I think that's what the Nazis at Buchenwald said. Who wants a job screwing their fellow worker, not me.
Epson-
Those lousy, scumbag <bleeping> creeps! HR people claim that "it's a business decision". Bull pucky >:( How about a humanitarian decision? I'm so angry that you were dealt that low blow on top of everything else.
How these idiots sleep at night is beyond me!
Epson:
As Pooh says, there is nothing left to add to what has been said. My heart goes out to you.
Genko
Epson, I'm so moved by this post! Also, I am sorry even though you said not to say it. I can relate to the vision being in your head. My partner (previous) passed away a few years back and I was home alone with him. The memory that sticks with me is when they came to take him away and the last sight was seeing him zipped up in a body bag. Memories like that stick with you. I wish you had a better ending experience.
Steve
Epson, It seems as though you have had enough happen in the past few weeks to last a long, long time. You will miss your Dad, what more can I say. Even when they are old and ill and you are expecting it they are still your parents. When they are gone we are the Old generation.
Now, regarding human resources, that is a job that I would not like to have. She is the companies bearer of bad news. And, the bad news is always related to the almighty dollar!!! As far as getting along, we are all going to be in the same boat. None of us will have much of anything at the rate it is going. However, I seem to remember this to be the case as I was growing up. We were all poor but didn't know it cause everybody else was also. Problem is we have all gotten so that we expect so much more out of life, things, medical care included. It is going to take some adjustment.
When do you start your chemo??? I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Irish ;D
Great wisdom Irish.
kimbo
Hi Epson,
I cant say anything more than has been said except that I will also keep you in my thoughts and prayers....you have been through enough and you deserve a break! I hope it comes soon for you!
epson
karma is what karma does,when it all comes around, im glad that im no them all i can say, beggars belief that in this day and age ppl can legally treat ppl this way , happens here too, my first husband left me with a little boy, pregnant, and homeless on the monday, i missed my 2 night shifts in a nursing home on the wednesday thursday, and made it back the next week, i was pulled in, i told them what had happened, they said no more sick time or we will have to let you go , first espisode in a year !
well i left there not long after that left a bad taste in my mouth.5 years later there was an incident in the home, son claimed neglect of his mother, won the case, nursing home was closed, no one wanted to buy it over due to locals having in their head , bad home .Owners bankrupt, their house was on the grounds, so while they didnt lose that, they did have to live daily looking at their misery everyday, i tell you karma is as karma does, take heart it goes around.
Epson your dad had a long life, he seemed to have a great attitude " at my age waking up is a good day" , he was a good age, and sounds like the kind of man yous want to know, but it will still hurt, and you ll still miss him, even if part of you is truly glad to see him in peace now,no matter how prepared you are , your never fuly prepared ever, i know from personal experience ,how could you be?? your in all our thoughts, your dad must have been quite a man , for he raised you and your an inspiration , a humour that lifts us all, an honest manner, a hard working man, someone who empathises even in pain, id say your dad had done a great job in his life
T x
Mc Haggis,
I want to believe in Karma and I do to a certain extent, it just takes too darn long! The worst part is being played for a sucker, every day going above and beyond what your job calls for, never being late for work, always early and what does it give you, a kick in the groan.
This is why I stopped giving two weeks notice when I leave a job, they can fire you for what ever reason they want, It's employment at will and you can quit for any reason at any time.
I am glad that I don't need this job to pay the bill, but I will miss the extra money and having something to do so I don't dwell on my illnesses, maybe I will volenter at the animal shelter.
Maybe my former employer will get unionized, that's Karma.
Epson,
I had a similar experience of seeing my Dad moments after he died. The hard part to try to forget is him being wheeled out of the house in a black body bag. Time has lessened the sight.
There seems to be a lack of compassion these days. I'm still dealing with the coldness from the church I was employed with when they "eliminated my job" last week. It's all about them (the company) not about the little guy.
I don't know if you are a Christian but if you are be reassured that you Dad is in a much better place where the pain and suffering are gone. I am sorry for the lack of caring and compassion you were shown by your employer. Chele and I will continue to keep you in our prayers.
God's blessings,
Mark....
Dearest Epson
You must be punch drunk, dear friend. My heart goes out to you - all I can send is love and kind thoughts.
I hope you can take some time to talk about your Dad, happy memories and all those odd moments that make up a life. It is so, so wrong that you found him that way but I hope you can salvage what you can and reclaim the memories.
It would definitely be justice if your former employer was unionised! I wonder how we can make that happen?! These days we are all having our values reassessed and it seems some people are in for a rude shock. Maybe it will include the HR people in your old company? I think you've always known what really matters, and how we should treat each other. That's why you've never been an HR yes-man, or a company man.
Your plan of volunteering with the animal rescue people sounds perfect - animals won't let you down or say one thing/mean another.
Take care
Epson,
What a rotten week for you. I'm just sending a hug.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Epson))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Cheryl
Cheryl,
After being clubbed, I need to be hugged ;D
Epson,
Your father sounded a lot like my own, when I ask him how he is he tells me well I woke up this
morning so I must be doing fine...I do not know how I would feel about finding my Pops as you
did yours...I do know with everything else it has really had to just thrown you on the edge. Along
with everyone else I hope you know I am here...and I apologize if in any way I have caused you to
feel worse, I always want my SJS family to feel better. Hugs and prayers to you!
JJ
epson
my gran used to say the good lord is slow, but he is thorough . I like that one :)
I dont get consciences of thse ppl i truly dont. I am glad we dont, for to truly understand that thinking youd need to be one of them * shudders* , makes you laugh life does, and some of the ppl you encounter, must be a miserable life being so money orientated, glad im a hippy at heart, ppl should always come first.im also glad i have deep faith in karma, ive seen it in my own life , my motto is i dont mind laughing last, ive always laughed the longest :)
T x
Oh, I thought that he who laughs last, doesn't get the joke ;D
Hi Epson
Reading your post was jaw dropping (even with TMJ!) I can't imagine how you are staying so strong - what a horrendous story. I echo what everyone above has said.
I have read a few stories about people being 'let go' on this site (mostly US companies I guess) and I am very shocked. The callous way in which these dismissals are taking place is inconceivable. I think that they are getting away with far too much because they think they can blame it on the recession!
I am surprised that they are allowed to get away with it. I don't think that would be allowed in the UK - you must have a law against someone being 'let go' because their illness is going to mean too much time off work!
You must either be entitled to a job or state assistance...surely?
I am horrified. Lots of love to you x
Jaws'
There are loop holes in ever law in the States, we live in an age where people are seen as liabilities and machines are assets, so it's the people that are thrown into the trash pile.
What is found amusing is the fact that I said I might need time off, so this was a preemptive firing.
My Mom died at 92; yes like your Dad that's a long, great life but we only have one mother or father in this life and when they go it hurts no matter what age; my thoughts are with you
Epson,
I, too, am sorry to hear of your father's passing and that you had to be the one to find him.
As for Human Resources? I came to the conclusion 18 years ago when I injured my back while working in advertising in a large family-owned manufacturing company that when it comes to certain issues, you don't work for people, you work for a corporation. And corporations don't have hearts. Corporations don't care that you have bills to be paid and medicine that you can't afford to buy without their benefit package. They also don't care if your kids need counseling or your husband suddenly realizes that he didn't really mean "In sickness" and in health.
I've come to strongly dislike a number of HR people over the years, but I suppose they didn't like me and the problems I brought to them all that much either.
Take care, Epson
I guess what it all comes down to is even those HR people have families and lives
full of difficulties we aren't aware of and they need their job to take care of those
things just as much as us...following rules they may not even agree with...we are
all in a rat trap..created by big business and the desires of those big wigs to get
their bonus even though they are the ones who put all of us in the situation we
are in now...I don't know maybe I'm crazy...okay I know I am...but the American
society which I am apart of has over spent from the ground up..not just corporate
but the rest of us buying into the keeping up with the Jones's mentality.. sorry my
spelling sucks and I'm just a bit frustrated...Epson..I hate what you are going through
as I hate what my daughter is going through and my SJS family goes through, I hate
what I go through!
But giving up and giving in is NOT an option...sorry I yell typed...then again maybe I'm not.
I guess I just feel the need to Cowboy up!
JJ
Quote from: Epson on February 23, 2009, 12:29:03 PM
Oh, I thought that he who laughs last, doesn't get the joke ;D
darn did you have to bring my brain fog up ?? lolololololol :D
Epson the only thing that i have to add to what has been said is THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!
I did happen to walk in on my parents having sex when i was a kid and up until today had been able to put it out of my mind. Tonight i will go to sleep with unwanted visions to keep me warm (translated highly nauseated)
Mate the coin tosses certainly arent going your way. I can only imagine how it feels right now.
All i can say is try to look on the bright side search for the positives and keep fighting the good fight. KNow that your friends are here whenever you need them. And if you start to get down. Well......think of my parents having sex and it will hasten the process ;D
Am thinkin of ya buddy
Pud
Ha ha! I remember doing that once......my Mother just pulled up the covers and had a chat with me as if nothing had happened, whilst my Father, realising that his fun had been interrupted gave me a look that said "well thanks a bunch, great bl**dy timing!"
How on earth did we digress to this....?!!!
You've got to laugh.
:D :o
Dpson
I'm joining this subject late, as I've been on holiday for a week. This might make you laugh though:
Years ago, my beloved worked shifts. He arrived home around 10.30 pm and, as was his habit, jumped in the shower. I sorted out his evening meal and went to bed, as I started work very early in the morning. Anyway, beloved comes out of shower and decides to keep me company in bed ::) We were having a very pleasant time when our 15 year old son pops his head around the door to give his dad the rugby results. He took in the situation (hard not to!) and, staring at the ceiling, proceeded to give out the results, before running down the stairs to put his brothers in the picture. By, were we embarrassed! Over a decade has passed, and we can laugh now but at the time, his face was a picture, and I guess, so were ours ;)
Kathyx