Although this is not concerning me specifically I thought perhaps someone here would know the answers to my questions. My son's girlfriend is on SSI disability (and has been since about the age of 15 if I understood correctly)
She is only 21 and didn't even know she was ON SSI disability all that time as her mother had been getting her checks and just keeping them. She was only made aware about a year ago by her older brother and began taking her own checks to get out away from her mom. She has several physical health problems but also was in a severe car accdient at the age of 15 that left permanant injuries to her back and both shoulders. I feel so awful for this kid.
She doesn't have her license and probably can't get it because of of her problems is a seizure disorder. My son takes her to all her appointments and everywhere else she needs to go. He also takes care of her when she just can't do for herself. She of course had a very limited income due to being on disability alone.My son and her decided it would be best all the way around if she just moves in with him at the house. Easier for him to take care of when she is in to much pain or sick and of course cheaper for her because she wouldn't be paying the high rent she is paying at the apartment.
Her mother told her she cannot move in with him because she will lose her disability if she does. Is that even possible? How could they justify that? She is on it because of all her health problems, they aren't going to suddenly go away because she lives with someone else. He cannot afford to take over her personal bills right now and DEFINATELY cannot afford her very high medical bills and meds.
Maremma,
I'm not totally sure about this, but I seem to remember something about "care giver" status. Please have him or her look into him being declared her "care giver". This might allow him to have her move in with him.
I hope someone here can help you with this. Your son sounds like a very loving and giving person. You should be very proud of him.
Pooh
Her mother could be her court appointed guardian. If this is so, she could petition the court to have this changed. There are too many variations to know what to do about this. Looking into a court advocate is somethiing that might help.
Lucy
Indeed my son is a very unique and sensitive young man and I am very proud of him. Even growing up he was a very compassionate and forgiving person but he also has an agressive protective streak in him that keeps me very concerned about this whole situation. He and I have a very close relationship and I am his best friend.He is counting on me to help him.
I need to learn very quickly all about disability SSI and special needs trust funds to be able to help him help her the right way. He is very aggitated with her mother and is finding it harder and harder to 'be nice" to her and not give her a royal tongue lashing.
Every time his girlfriend has to deal with her mother her mother delibrately tries to provoke, antagonize, intimindate and manipulate the daughter. ( I have witnessed this myself and it is no exaggeration) It usually works and the daughter winds up either a hysterical crying mess that cuts herself because of the episodes or a raging mess that breaks her own personal belongings and then cuts herself. (her mother has her own set of health and mental health problems and is also on disability because of them)
My son is very effective in preventing the cutting episodes and she has not had any new wounds since he has been with her but the risk is always there any time she has to deal with the mother. The difference in this girl when she has avoided her mother for an entire day and when she has had to deal with her is like night and day. The daughter has been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. I know where that came from!
To be quite frank I am in shock that any court would find the mother a fitting guardian for her disability. Her older brother was appointed the guardian of her special needs trust fund because of the mothers past abuse of the daughters funds. If indeed she "needs" someon to be her guardian of her disability we ultimately would like to see her older (very stable) brother in control of that as well.
Can you tell me how do we get her a court advocate?