Hi
My eyes aren't as dry as many of yours are. They improved with hot compresses, massage and Plaquenil - and maybe fish oil too. Sometimes I wonder if I have Lupus rather than SjS. That's what my bloodwork used to say but my eyes felt gritty and my mouth is dry.
Well my eyes may have improved but I could have done with crying today and they just wouldn't. I don't cry often, never have, so I don't get the opportunity very often to see whether I have real tears or not.
I went to work today to be met with the news that a friend's son had died the previous night. She's a colleague as well as a friend - but a friend first. Her son has been scizophrenic for a number of years now. He was in a secure unit at a local hospital. They've tried loads of medication but none of it has helped.
After tying up a few loose ends at work I went to see the family to see if there was anything I could do - like shopping - or giving anyone a lift. Anything. I wanted to be able to cry with them too. they don't even know what's happened yet. The police told them he'd suffocated himself with a pillow but that sounds incredibly implausible. The hospital won't speak to them. I just hope they find out soon, because it's tearing them apart.
Thanks for listening - Scottie
Scottie
I am so sorry for your friend and you. It hurts us when we have to see our friends to through such hurts. I also had a friend of my daughters 9 weeks baby die this past week.
You are a good friend to offer to help. I will keep you and them in my prayers
Cricket
Aww Scottie, it's so terrible anytime to lose a child, but this doesn't sound good. I hope your friend gets some answers real soon and have a resolution.
She may not realize it right now, but she has a great friend in you. I will keep them and you in my thoughts and prayers.
Hugs, Pooh
Scottie
I'm so sorry to hear your news.
I can't imagine what the family are going through. When Michael was 18 he decided he was going to travel 300 miles to live with my sister whilel he 'sorted his head out'. He had had a lot going on his his life. Anyway, he only stayed a couple of weeks and then,much to our relief he came home. Only then did I find out that he had actually gone to end his life. Thank God, he didn't. It's so tough being young, without having mental health issues too.
I will remember you friends family, and you, in my prayers.
Kathyx
Scottie darling,
Your news is heartbreakingly tragic. I am deeply sorry for the family and the young man who was plagued by mental health disease.
It is a real sad day.
Janna
scottie, This is just soo sad. As much as I hate cancer I think I hate schizophrenia more as it robs us of so many intelligent people at such a young age. I can just imagine that you friend and family are really looking to answers to this situation. I hope they find the truth soon. I think that no matter what the truth is it needs to be known so they can go on with their lives.
Know that I am thinking and sending up some prayers for them in their grief. Irish
I'm so sorry to hear such sad news (((HUGS)))
Skylar
What a sad situation. It is incrediably hard to lose a child, but then not knowing the why and hows, would make it so much worse. Prayers coming for you and that family. Stay strong for them and know we will support you here.
Scottie,
I'm so sorry to hear such sad news. I hope they get some answers soon because that I sure is just adding to their grief. My thoughts are with you and your friend. *hugs*
-Lauren
Thanks to everybody. It is so good to be able to come here and just unload. It's much appreciated.
So sorry to hear such sad and tragic news Scottie. You are such a wonderful friend, regardless of the lack of tears. So many times people unintentionally neglect friends when tragedy hits because they don't know what to say. But, you are doing exactly what they need just by being there for them. They are facing some difficult times ahead and they are fortunate to have you.
I sure hope they get some answers soon.
quig
I'm so sorry to hear this news Scottie...its bad enough with the loss of this young mans life, but not having answers to the questions is just added on top of it.....I hope that the answers come soon so that the healing can begin. You and your friend as well as the rest of his family are in my thoughts and prayers!
I'm very sorry.....((((((((((Scottie))))))))))
I am so so sorry Scottie! Words really do fail one at such a time...sorry seems so benign doesnt it?
Dear Scottie:
That is heartbreaking news. My thoughts and deepest sympathies to you and your good friend.
Sue
Scottie,
I'd like to add my sympathy. What shocking news for a parent to receive! Thank you for being there for your friend.
Cheryl
Scottie,
Losing someone you love, regardless of how, is the worse thing one must endure. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and your friend.
Sue
(((((((((( gentle hugs ))))))))))) :'(
Rania
How sad, can't even make sense out of it. Mental illness is the crulest. I lost a cousin to suicide. He was a lovley young man he used to come play shinny/hockey or "hackey" as my hubby and his gang called it on our pond. He had schizo as well and had started meds and tried real hard but couldn't handle the way they made him feel he struggled so til finally one day he couldn't hold on anymore. I still see his bright toothy smile, and so polite. What we all knew was only the tip of the iceburg I suppose and I think sometimes God works in mysterious ways. I bid these young fellows both the peace in death they never recieved in life and acceptance for the family. Sandra
Aw Scottie, I am so sorry to hear of your devastating news. It seems all the more heartbreaking that he was in a hospital to get the help he needed. I hope you all get answers know that your are remembered in all of our prayers.
Scottie.
I am so sorry for your friend and her family. I am sure your hugs and friendship will mean a lot to her at this time of confusion and sadness.
kim
Scottie I truly understand your heartbreak. My good friend lost her only son through suicide. A wonderful man in his late thirties with a daughter and two young sons left to be raised. It is truly a sadness that rocks your soul. I also understand the struggle of schizophrenia as my first cousin has struggled for years with this disease. His adult life has been between his fathers home and treatment homes.
We will probably never understand the struggle they go through. Please be there for your friend and listen when she needs to talk. That is the biggest help you can provide. My friend tells me all the time how many people get really uncomfortable when she brings up her son's name. How sad.
I will keep you all in my prayers for peace of heart most especially for your friend's son that he is now finding peace.
Hi
Thank you all so much for your replies. They have been very comforting.
Meanwhile the heartbreak for the family goes on. A post mortem was inconclusive but did not think that asphyxiation had been the cause of death. They are still waiting for toxicology results. Basically it was not a suicide.
They won't issue a death certificate until the cause can be better established so there can be no funeral yet.
My friend and her family are busy painting the house. It keeps them busy and keeps people out because they are not dealing too well with visitors. I felt privileged because I was allowed in although I would have left in a heartbeat if I'd been asked to.
At the moment - it looks like the hospital's screwed up on medication and the police are a bit worried about having tasered him the previous week too. His parents just want answers and a funeral and the beginning of closure. They don't want a court case or compensation or anything.
Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers.
Scottie
Dear Scottie:
Sorry I'm coming so late to this - I've been away for the week, just back this morning. My heart goes out to your friend as she is going through a triple grief, losing her son to schizophrenia and then death, and now to have no closure on the reasons. Hopefully soon she will be able to bury him ("Tuck him in," as my friend says) and honor his life and memory.
You are a good friend to her.
Genko
Scottie
That is shocking. His poor family must begoing through h**l. I'm so glad you are there for them. I hope they are able to 'tuck' their son in soon.
Kathyx
Scottie,
I'm late with this. Had lots of problems and been missing. I'm so sorry to hear of this. We lost a young friend thru a needless death and it is just so hard. I pray for closure for the family and for you.
Billye