This has been a very very hard week for me already. Last week I slept in my husband's worn out recliner (they all are aren't they?). He had eye surgery and I had to get up during the night, every night for a week to put antibiotic drops in his eyes and re-bandage him. So I couldn't let myself get sound asleep. I now walk like a bent over recliner. Good news is he's recovering well. Things started looking up and then this morning my housekeeper calls and cancels her appt for this week. Her grandfather has had a stroke and isn't doing well.
This is certainly excusable and we re-schedule for next week. Then I pick up the paper and there is a name in the obits of a young man with the same name as a dear friend of the family's son. He grew up with my son and was in my son's wedding. They have remained close for all these years. Surely I think, this isn't the same person. I call the funeral home and ask the name of the young man's mother. ...it is the same as our young man's mother. So then I start trying to call my son. I call him 4 times and start panicking. Surely they aren't together. Then he calls me back. He already knows of his friend's death. Small towns network fast.
It seems his life was overwhelming for him and he has killed himself. My grief for his mother and my son is huge. She raised the boys (2) of them as a single mother. She has worked herself thru nursing school and runs our local emergency room nursing staff. Life just isn't fair. Please remember all of us in your prayers. It has been a hard year already.
Billye
I am so sorry. Prayers coming for that family. As for life not being fair - you're right it isn't. But, we were never told it was going to be. I would like to tell you it will get better, but I don't know that. I will also pray that it will get a bit better and easier for you.
Oh Billye...I'm so sorry for you and your son and especially for that young mans mother! You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
You just seem to have one thing after another to deal with this year.....its time you have some good things happen in your life....you are overdue!
Lots and lots of hugs to you......(((((((((((((Billye)))))))))))
Hi Billye
Things just HAVE to get better for you soon. You are being sorely tried! I'm sorry to hear of your son's friend's death. Suicide is always sad as it always seems like such a total waste. They have no idea the grief they leave behind, yet when they go I'm sure their minds tell them that eeryone will be better off without them. So untrue.
Thoughts are with you. Try to take care of yourself.
Take care - Scottie
Dear Billye,
I am so so sorry for you and your son and the mother who raised that young man.
We are in agreement, life just isn't fair.
Janna
Oh No, that is just awful sad news :'(
Sending many sympathy hugs and wishes.
Billye I'm sooo sorry! Sending lots of *hugs* your, your son's, and his friend's families way! I hope everyone effected by his death get the help and support they need to get through this extra difficult grieving process.
-Lauren
My husband and I attended the funeral. The funeral home's chapel was completely filled and there was standing room only. This boy had so many friends and had touched so many lives and didn't even know it. I just wanted to make a statement about suicide and pain.
Suicide is permanent, pain sometimes isn't or can be helped whether it's mental or physical. Suicide affects so many people. It is grief for your families with questions that can't be answered. It is grief for your friends because they feel guilty and feel that they failed you in some way. And it's a loss to the world when it takes away a shining beautiful young man like this one.
I thank you all for your prayers and messages.
Billye
Billye I am so sorry to hear this. I said a prayer for all of you. Life isnt fair. Each day is precious. Things like this tend to make us stop, and think about how precious life is. Please take care.
susanep :(
Billye, my prayers and sympathy go out to you and yours. Most especially I will keep this young man's family in my prayers. A close friend of mine lost her some in the same manner three years ago. His family continues to struggle with the why and could I have done something different. They all know in their head that they did their best to help but their hearts still can't understand why he made this decision.
There is little I can do to help but listen when my friend needs to talk. So many tell her she needs to move on - How do you do that? I understand your grief and confusion, and yes anger that they didn't fight more against their demons. We can only pray that God will receive them with open arms and take away all their torment.
Keep him in your heart and in your conversation. That is the one thing my friend comments about. Since so many feel awkward about what to say, they do not bring his name up. I think this makes it even harder for her.
Take care.
(((((HUGS)))))
oh Billye, you have had so much going on with everything.
Suicide is such a sad horrible thing. The County I live in has had so many suicides in the past few years, its seems to be an epidemic.
You will be in my prayers
Debora
Hi Billye~~ I'm sorry that I am late on this thread. I hope that the support and Love of family and friends help you all through this difficult time.
I'm so sorry ~~Shari~~
Thanks all of you. I developed a severe upper respritory infection right after the funeral. I guess my poor body had experienced all it could stand. I was terribly run down from lack of sleep during my husband's surgery. And then my littlest chihuahua developed separation anxiety when I tried to crawl in the bed and stay there. So this has been a bad time for us. Seems that nothing has gone right. Then finally a break in the mess. My husband got a good report on his eye surgery and we were able to stop the nightime meds and can drive again which takes a huge load off me.
I received the sweetest note from Brian's Mom about my impromptu grocery shopping and delivery. She said she was overwhelmed and so grateful by what I had done and the card I included with the groceries. That makes it all worthwhile. We'll never forget Brian, he was so much a part of our lives.
Thank you all for your understanding.
Billye
Billye, It's really good to hear there is some respite from the series of difficulties you have been facing. And good just to hear from you.
Genko
Hi Billye :)
I hope the little bit of respite is a turn in the way things have been going. You deserve a change of fortune.
Take care - Scottie :)
Hi Billye,
I'm sorry that your body is just not giving you much of a break! I sure hope you feel better soon and give that precious pup a scratch for me, will you?
Take care -
Patze
Billye,
I am very sad to hear you've been sick on top of careworn over the loss of this lovely boy.
It is not hard to imagine a flare + infection coming out of all that happened. Your husband's surgery alone was enough to do it. It is absolutely wonderful that he has had such a good report!
So now you will heal and move on carrying with you some exceedingly raw hurt places.
Janna
PS Put me down for a snuggle with your little pup!
At this point I will give you the pup!! ;D
Last night at 1:30 she woke me up and insisted I sleep with her. I have a new daybed bought just so I can sleep with her during thunderstorms. She has storm phobia. But it is high off the floor and I've not found steps that look sturdy enough for her yet. She will jump and think nothing about it. But it's really too high for her to safely do that. I don't need a dog with a broken bone. I've got that base covered myself. ::) So I spent the night in the recliner again. She just got so spoiled when I was having to sleep in the recliner during my husband's recovery. Her hair is so wiry that we can't let her sleep with us in our bed. We have a memory foam mattress and her hair would thread it's way into the mattress, so we sleep with her and the other two in the den.
So I'm back to base one until Weds when we are going to another town to one of the supper pet stores. Maybe I can find a good step for her there.
If not, I'm having one custom built. I want a mattress at night.
Thanks all for he incredibly kind messages. You have really helped me get thru this. And....Janna Lee, you are right, I'll always have a little hole in my heart for this precious boy who is so missed by so many.
Billye
billye, I want to apologize to you for not posting on this thread. As I stop and think now I think I did post and then I lost it and forgot again!!!
I am so sorry about the loss of this boy. I raised 3 sons and I know how it is to have others boys around so much that they seem like part of the family. It is something that will hurt for a long time. Suicide is a terrible thing as it is so hard on those left behind. I can certainly commiserate with you about the stress of your hubbys health issues, then the dog issues, no sleep issues and this funeral stress. It is no wonder that you have gotten ill. Please rest and take good care of yourself. I miss you a lot on the site. Come back when you are up to it. Hugs Irish ;D
Billye, sorry I have been away, but I just wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of this wonderful young boy. I'm sure he will be missed greatly by all who knew him.
I hope you are feeling better soon and your little pup gets over it's storm "allergy". ;D Have you tried the "Rescue Remedy" when a storm is coming. You can find it in WalMart's vitamin section or at GNC. It's a natural soothing drops to calm humans and animals. We use it for our dogs when it's time to go to the vets. Works wonders.
Take care and I do hope to see you back on the boards real soon.
Hugs and God Bless,
Pooh
Sorry you are having such a hard time. Fatigue overwhelms all of us. Getting rest needs to be a priority. Without rest all things seem worse. Get those ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZs
Hello all,
Finally some good news to report. I took my husband to the eye doctor this morning and he got a good report. Now if his tear function starts up again, we will be on the way to a great surgery result. The doctor says it usually kicks in about 4-6 weeks after surgery. So soon hopefully.
Then I deserted him and had lunch with a friend. My respiriatory infection seems to be abating after the trusty Z pack. Just left with all the breaking up post infection coughing.
Pooh, I haven't tried Rescue Remedy. But you can believe I'll be getting some tomorrow. Thanks for the suggestion.
Irish,
Thank you for the message. I still tear up when I think of him. I suspect I will for a very long time. He was just one of mine and it hurts. It will heal, it always does.
Billye
Billye, if you try the drops, just put 3 drops on the puppies tongue. It takes about 15 minutes to work, but it helps with the anxiety and fears when storms come.
Hope you are feeling better. Have a great lunch and enjoy your time out.
Hugs, Pooh
Billye, I'm so sorry to hear about your troubles. But thankful that you are doing better. I too would like to sign up for a cuddle with your puppy. LOL Our dog developed a fear later in life about storms - oh boy it was awful. Talk to your vet about it, they may have something to help your pup.
Oh Dear Lord, will it ever end???!!! I got a phone call late last night from my Mom's oldest Sister (my Aunt) telling me that the youngest Sister (my Aunt also) had a heart attack last Friday. They put her in the hospital in Columbus, Miss to stabilize her. While they had her there they did a heart cath and she has 4 veins almost 100% blocked. They decided to send her to the University of Alabama to a good heart specialist for surgery. Last night she crashed and flatlined. But they were able to get her back. Then the doctor told us she didn't have as good a chance of surviving the surgery since the crash last night and asked the family what they wanted to do. He said without the surgery she had no chance. So my cousin's husband asked the doctor "If it were your mother, what would you do?". The doctor told him, I'd give it a shot, at least she would have a chance.
So they did the surgery and we've all been hanging by the phone all day since we can't be there. 7 & 1/2 hours surgery and now 3 days on a ventilator in CCU . It's been a long day. Just wish I could have been there.
My husband tells me I just thrive on the drama in my life. I'm thinking of giving him so drama with a baseball bat applied to his noggin.
Anyway, please pray for my Aunt Floyce in Alabama. We all love her so much.
Pooh, I got rescue drops for Miss Cami today. We're trying them. Pray for me...I need sleep and less worry. I'm in a flare. Trying to work during all of this. Got to do the windows at the shop tomorrow in preparation for a big downtown festival. Downtown is re-opening and we will have street activities, sidewallk sales, etc. going on so I need festive windows with classy clothes and jewelry. Somewher I have to find time to complely fall apart. Does falling sleep when you are sitting still, falling asleep over the breakfast table and dinner table mean something is worng ? So far I haven't fallen asleep driving. 'm still 2 weeks away from having the next bloodwork done for my rheumatologist .
Thanks for letting me ramble. My poor old head is on overload again. So is the body.
Love you all and hope to get caught up sooon.
Billye
Hi Billye, Take care. At some point things will have to get better or slower or something different, don't they?
Genko
((((((( Billye ))))))) You're in my thoughts - as is your aunt.
Please don't fall asleep driving. It can be done unfortunately. My daughter went to sleep riding a bicycle once. She got away with it.
Take care - Scottie
Bill honey, sometimes boys just don't get it about us. We are the "feelers" who are loaded with empathy and nurture and what not. We cannot help but feel deeply distressed when awful things happen to others.
Because of your ability to thrive on drama, he will live longer...it's a proven fact!
You are the dearest!
Janna
PS I hope Mistress Cami is snoring away now!
Hi Billye,
I know how you try to take care of everyone, but please, please take time for BILLYE. There won't be much you can do if you get sick and need to be in bed.
I'm so sorry about your aunt. I pray all goes well for her and the family.
Hugs and God Bless,
Pooh
Billye so sorry for all you have gone through and are going through. There will be better days. There just has to be . We are all thinking of you, and all that has been going on. Life is strange to say the least. Please get rest when you can. You wont be able to help others without some rest yourself. I am guilty of that myself. Some things are so tragic. We live in an imperfect world. We all just do the best we can and go on. As bad as you have felt and with all going on , you have done a good job. We are proud of you.
susanep
Dear Billye, my thoughts are with you and your aunt.
Think how much better it is that she "crashed" while in medical care, not at home, possibly alone. That in itself gives her a better chance. Think of the doctor who, because of your cousin's husband's question will now think of his own mother whenever he makes a decision regarding your aunt's care, and possibly give that little extra bit of caring. Think of how you are supporting her family, and how much they appreciate you, even if you can't be right there.
I wouldn't think of you "thriving on drama", but you definitely "shine through stress".
Everything Linda said!!! hee hee
Billye~~It seems that stressful things come in lumps~~~then everything gets all smooth and creamy for a bit. I hope you have a LONG smooth time coming your way. I'll give up mine to you~~
Unfortunately a young man who's folks live near me took his own life on Wed. night. The day and time of the service has not been decided and I do not look forward to going of course. His Mom has had such a hard time in the last couple of years and now this.
I think maybe suicide either needs to be talked about in high school like one would have a health class. Get real about it etc.
Billye~~bless you ~~Shari~~
(((((((((((Billye)))))))))) You, your aunt, the rest of your family, and of course your little scared doggie are all in my thoughts and prayers. I hope things get better for you soon....your long overdue for some "better times" and some peaceful rest and quiet!
Please take of yourself......
I can't believe you all let me unload like you did and still support me! It has been hard. But for some reason I just keep ticking along like the energizer bunny.
I'm calling my family tomorrow to see how my Aunt is doing. I have felt today that no news is good news. Linda ... you are right, I'm so glad she was at the hospital when this happened.
I made it thru the window dressings, did not stay for the downtown celebration but I know it will be good because everyone has waited on this for a very long time. My husband slept with Cami last night and I got a full night's sleep. Tonight it's my turn.
Pooh..the drops don't seem to be doing much good. Monday, I'm taking her to the vet. Time for medical intervention. She just will not be by herself without an anxiety attack.
Shari..I'm so sorry to hear of another suicide in a young person. I just don't think our world prepares our young ones for life any more. And I don't know what can be done to make their lives better. The world is in such a turmoil now.
Thanks all of you for your incouraging posts. You sure helped me get thru this one. Sometimes you just need to vent. I hope I can help some of you thru your difficult periods.
Billye