Dearest Sjogren's Angels,
So I am having aches and pains (like the flu), I'm exhausted, and I'm depressed.
Recovering from my compression fracture of the Lumbar Spine (L-2) had me dazed and confused. Add to that some changes in my medications (all good, but...) and I missed that fact that I am having a FLARE.
I haven't had flare in a while, since I take Medrol to tolerate my IVIG...but I've also been reducing the amount of Medrol I take (very low dose, 2 mg every other day), so a flare snuck in.
I have joint pain, muscle pain, stabbing pains in my fingers and toes.....and I'm exhausted and doing nothing to speak of. And sad, just sad, which is depression, also I think things are never going to feel better for me, since I don't know what's wrong.
I am not a depressed person usually, so I don't think of depression caused by a flare, I think it's 'just me' failing to accept 'whatever'....and I try to figure it out.
Nothing to figure out!
I can use breathing and relaxation to ease the pain, and that works until I stop and then the misery is back. Otherwise I distract myself with my computer, but even that doesn't work well.
Flares pass.
whisper:(or I could be coming down with the bad cold my husband has had for three weeks, but I hope not)
Thanks for listening, Angels.
Hugs, Elaine
We always listen to you. You are a woman with so much care and knowledge. Just to go over many of your messages so eloquently written warms all of our hearts.
It is definitely not the end of the world but another chapter in this long book. Someone said I should write a book about what I have been through. Well it hurts to write and type so I do very little of it now. LOL!
Your flare is our flare. As I read your post I was thinking about posting about this dreadful pain and burning in my feet and toes. Trying to figure out which pill should help with that symptom.
Depression clinically is one thing and getting down because of what we live through is something else. I have been a a part of a counseling group for years and I realize my flares cause me to be harder on my mind and spirit. That's when I have to pray and sometimes cry harder. I have this saying that I know what it is like to be Job in the bible. It sucks but...
I don't know if you can take high doses of Vitamin C when folks around you have colds. I am doing that right now since my two main partners around here has very bad colds.
Just seeing what I am doing can help you out. I guess since I am exhausted all the time I don't even call it a flare anymore. But I got to push or I won't see the couple of things on my bucket list since I didn't put much.
May God relieve some of this stuff you are going through and give you days of reprieve.
Peace and Blessings,
angel dancer
Thanks, angeldancer,
For me, the base of a flare is inflammation, and the depression is part of the unholy trio: Pain, Fatigue and Depression.
We all have things that get is down in our lives, for sure. But only depression causes me to have the pain of feeling sad, and the sense of hopelessness.
Usually, once I experience RAIN for a thing that's getting me down, I can move on. But when I'm having the inflammation of a flare, my brain can't seem to move off sadness.
R - Recognition of what I'm feeling.
A - Acceptance of what I'm feeling
I - Investigation of what I'm feeling (cause and effect)
N - Not 'attaching' myself to the feeling....letting it go.
This is usually very effective. But not when I'm in a Flare. I get 'stuck' because my brain, which is part of my body of course, is suffering the effects of inflammation.
It is really a physical thing, not life experiences or even brain chemistry, per se.
When I was having weekly infusions of Gamma Globulin (for my Immune Deficiency) my body reacted at exactly the 48 hour mark with inflammation....and I would begin to feel pain, fatigue, and depression settled like a cloud. This went on for weeks, until the reaction at 48 hours last until the next weekly infusion and I was in a constant state of misery.
This was the experience that truly opened my eyes to the fact that depression can be truly a physical event. Not related to my early childhood, or my current events, but only to the inflammation of a Flare.
The horror of any depression is that it seems 'my fault', and then it lies to me with the sense that it is 'real'. So when it came and went every week like clock work, I could see that it wasn't my fault any more than the pain and fatigue.
My heart goes out to those who suffer depression. It is an actual emotional pain, and seems to be lodged in my chest and throat.
Last night I took more Medrol (methylprednisolone), creating my own Taper burst. I slept well for the first time in a while, for 11 hours, and woke with less fatigue and the pain and depression seem to be gone.
I might be willing now to undertake the 6 hour drive each way for our Thanksgiving trip by car to Atlanta.
Yesterday I could barely tolerate sitting at lunch in the restaurant because of the fatigue, body pain and the pain of my depression. I couldn't imagine sitting in a car for 6 hours to spend with my husband's family (which is really my own by now, of course, after 55 years of marriage!).
My compression fracture has healed and didn't worsen. I knew it probably wouldn't worsen, since I have very strong bones. But the X-ray yesterday showed that it was stable and now that my pain level has receded, I feel that my back is fine.
My husband has been very gentle with me through this, which is also a blessing.
Hugs, Elaine
PS I'm glad you're posting, angel, and I hope you are bearing up with your life events, which have been such a challenge.
I'm so sorry Elaine.
I hope you feel better asap.
When I'm not feeling well and I think there is a chance it might be respiratory related, I take an Oil of Oregano capsule (broken record...apologies) and drink a hot tea...sometimes have my hubby get me some "Mom's Chicken Soup," from Whole Foods. I also really enjoy a good magazine or movie on TV. Often times, a little extra tender loving care and rest, will bring me around.
Rubbing Aspercream or something for nerve issues (depending) on extra sore spots can be a good idea.
Blessings. :)