3 yrs of work to resolve estate (plus 4month doing Hospice) the end is almost here.
Home sold to a wonderful family with children.
For a healthy person this would have been daunting. For us here is was physically and emotionally devastating. Stress, stress and more stress.
The original will had been lost and we only had a certified copy. Required going thorough Surrogate Court, estate attorney, etc. papers, notarized documentations, etc. A quagmire.
Hurricane Sandy had occurred. One result was that Home Inspection reports along the shore areas were now 'off the wall'. Last one being 86 pages.
The roof was original to home. One buyer wanted new roof @ $27,000. (buyer had structural changes to roof)
I got 3 estimates and put new roof on with reputable, established outfit plus warranty for
$11,000. Issue resolved.
Learned businesses pay fee to join Better Business Bureau.. so researched including putting company name in search with "lawsuit'. Why not?
Some other issues came up and I met with some contractors.
Sad that they see a female and estate and think you are not informed.
One contractor gave me an estimate for work $27,000 (must be the going number).
I looked at him and said, " That is not going to happen."
Then he says discounts are coming up maybe he can get them for me. Talks on cell and then says $17,000, but you have to sign now. I glared at him and said "Why doesn't that make me feel better.. this meeting is over." Got an estimate for $8,500.. with a walk around and talked to contractor and let him know I had researched the issue extensively and was familiar with the engineering terms. He was honest and forthright.
Buyer beware. Especially female/estate.
Painting one contractor regarding crackling of paint on walls commented.. Oh wow .. this could be a big job, is that lead paint. The home is not old enough for LEAD PAINT. I said to him: : What f%*^king planet do you think I am from?" BUYER BEWARE!!!
I am sharing these examples because you can search any issues that may come up, videos on remediation. I used the National Home Builders Association site as a springboard https://www.nahb.org/en/consumers/homeownership/home-maintenance-and-repair.aspx
Had gotten rid of original real estate agent who basically did nothing.
Research and found a true gem. Highly professional and physically helped with home.. WOW!!!
Got rid of estate attorney in regards to home sale. Firm charged by the hour.. so phone calls, etc
Researched, interviewed and found attorney who charged by the 'closing' .. there were 3 contracts on the home this summer.. Attorney charged for one that 'closed'. Huge difference.
Plus she was on board with me. Counter offers has 24 hr. timeline or off the table. Shore market it the summer.. so time was of the essence.
Well I never thought I would learn so much about autoimmune issues..
And now I leaned a lot about home construction and contractors, lawyers, realtors, etc... and now I want the majority of them OUT of our lives. Cell contacts---> delete.
We did make great contacts.
Love the realtor and Real estate Attorney, Ins Agent and will be writing reviews. And I will be sending out personal Thank You cards to the many others who were so supportive and professional, and a letter to their supervisors.
Now hoping to just finish up with the accounting aspect.
( long for post max.. so cont')
Due to this experience we have a lot to think about regarding how we want to proceed with our future. Both having chronic medical realities.
DH just had another surgery this past Friday and more will be coming. Angioplasty in his left leg, right was done 3 yrs ago and needs to be re-evaluated. Possibly more work on left. Diabetes/Neuropathy/loss of circulation.
On top of DH cardiac event last June.
My lab work just came back with a number of abnormalities so waiting to hear.
And honestly.. it is a relief to be out from under home issues .. things out of my control; such as when heat went out during winter and concerns over pipes. Stuff and Stuff that when I would drive down to home I would feel nauseous, headaches. Then come home and crash for 2-3 days, not even able to eat.
All of this stress has not been good at all for us.
And my goal is to never have this happen to my offspring upon my/our passing.. ever.
I know we need to move to a single floor dwelling. So we need to prepare this home for market.. but, hey.. I now know the 'lingo' and how to deal with contractors. ~.~
I did take all the ashes, my parents and their pets.
I put some in the the four corners of their home and into the soil of their favorite Weeping Japanese Maple.
I went to the beach were we spent our vacations in 'lighter times' and release the ashes into the sea with a single white tea rose.
It was beautiful beyond belief.. and I exhaled... finally.
For a moment I could hear in heart my parents teasing and playing on the sandbar in "lighter times".
It felt good to smile.. for them.
So it was a long summer .. I did read some posts on cell .. I did not have laptop with me. And when I would come home it was into the 'void zone' as much as possible. Turning off cell, etc.
Quietdynamics is not in service.. lol.
Hi :)
You have certainly had a long, eventful, stressful summer. Stress sometimes catches up just when we feel we can relax so I hope you can really just take things easy for awhile.
I lost both my parents in my 30s and contribute the stress felt them to the beginning of my autoimmune problems. A trigger at least.
It gives me an inkling of what you have been going through.
I hope the winter is kind to you.
Take care - Scottie :)
QD,
Congratulations for making it through all of that! Selling any property (even when well) can be daunting. I wouldn't call myself a die-hard feminist, but I love to see empowered women. I love
that you did your research & knew your stuff. It is interesting how those "discounts" pop up when you are ready to walk away from a deal.
I know you are glad to have that off of your plate.
Deep soothing breath.
SjoDry
You deserve some peace.....who knows what you will get, of course.
But one great 'effort' is finally put away.
And the ceremony to release your parents to their joyful places sounds marvelous and healing.
In all probability the next move and the health issues will be less complex than this past estate process.
Float, if you can, QD, and I hope your new 'abnormalities' will be figured out and dealt with.
Hugs, Elaine
I am so glad to hear this one past thing is behind you as far as the process of it all. Now to concentrate more on the two of you.
Hugs,
susanep
Thank you for your kind words and support ~.~
Still wishing I could have remembered how to do excel to keep tabs on 3 years of out of pocket expenses. And hoping this is not going to an issue in the final accounting. I need to reimburse myself for expenses and I do not believe other party understands all the expenses. We will see. I did leave a paper trail with a dedicated bank account.
Trying to get DH scheduled so that "his high probability" of more leg surgeries will be done since high deductible was met. Sad that we are managed by deduction/tax timelines.
With changes and the Cardio event DH had in June we are going to review our will, and other issues.
SjoDry.. I am not a feminist at all. I have witnessed males with custody of their children not being treated equally within the judicial system nor with basic civility/equality.
There are simply predators out there and they have to be fettered out.
I am estimating it is going to take us 6month to a year to our lives and our own home (yes, we have been truly exhausted) back in shape so we can move forward.
I had just moved in with DH before I physically/mentally crashed with SJS and then got help via Neruologist.. back to be able to drive. Then Mom sick, terminal... I have not even unpacked my own boxes in basement.
So this has really been a whirlwind adventure (uninvited, but ours) and we are making it to the other end.
The estate home was so streamlines and immaculate, clutter-less. That is our goal.
Ease of use home. I want to put organizers in closets and even get rid of furniture... lol.
Keep what we use ---> out with everything else. Yeah.