It's a brand new year, time to start another new thread of "Laughter is the Best Medicine". ;D
I really think that laughter is important. Something to cheer us up and bring a smile to our face.
So let the laughter begin . . . . .
I saw this on youtube and loved it - you could spend hours and hours (okay, days) on that site - here you go, enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zq-EK5bZASI
It's your turn to keep the laughter coming - share your jokes, true stories, one liners, etc.
Bucky
Bucky, that was soooo funny!!! Thanks for sharing that with us. Those boys were really good.
Jennifer
I thought this was appropriate due the weather we are having.
What do eskimos get from sitting on a block of ice?
Polaroids!
Found on the web:
A little kid opens a box of Animal Crackers. The mom leaves him alone in the kitchen for a couple of minutes and then returns to see a giant pile of crackers on the kitchen table. She asks "What are you doing?"
The little kid responds "The box said 'do not eat if seal is broken'. I am looking for the seal." :D
Found in my files from 2007:
Pharmacist
A calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy and walked right up to the pharmacist,
looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide".
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband".
The pharmacist's eyes got big, and he exclaimed, "Lord, have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I would lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen!"
"Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, now. That's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription."
;D ;D ;D
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!
This is just what I needed this evening~ with all the nasty weather we are having, it is good to have a good laugh!
What did one eye say to the other eye? ;) Don't look now, but something between us smells.
Sorry that is the best I could do~ :-\
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=irSC4-j_NjY
Dog in trouble. Hilarious!
Sharon
Ha ha! I love that one! This one has been going around too and it just cracks me up!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCRDskZrUMU
Ha - poor Tank, he knew he'd been "b-u-s-t-e-d"!!
Poor kennel dog - I've seen my own animals through the years be so stubborn when they don't want to do something.
Come to think of it, I've seen kids be that stubborn too! ;)
Bucky
And spouses!
Sharon
I just spent the last 30 minutes watching funny animal videos, laughing so hard I was crying. Time well spent!
Found in my files:
"I'm retired . . . . I was tired yesterday, and I'm tired again today." :D
"The economy is so bad, if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds", you call and ask if they meant you or them . . . . "
Here's one for Spring!!
What's Irish and comes out in the spring? Paddy O'Furniture!
;D ;D ;D
"Spring is here. I am so excited, I wet my plants."
Love this little guy!! I have watched this over and over. Just makes me laugh!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZ7aLyfWkc0
However, I am glad he is Linda's child and not mine! hahaha
Jennifer
This one has had me giggling all day ...
Want to know what the major cause of dry skin is?
Bath towels ;D
http://poemsbyshelsilverstein.blogspot.com/2009_01_01_archive.html
Really funny poems!
Sharon
I said to my mate, "I just met a doctor who claims he can cure my illness."
"Which doctor?"
I replied, "No, he's legal."
Have a great day! Jennifer
Quote from: slccom on April 02, 2014, 11:09:53 AM
http://poemsbyshelsilverstein.blogspot.com/2009_01_01_archive.html
Really funny poems!
Sharon
Shel Silverstein is one of the greats!
I just got off the home phone with a telemarketer, so this caught my attention as I was web surfing this afternoon. I realize these people are just trying to do their job, but . . . they are so annoying.
10 Ways to Annoy a Telemarketer
10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked
because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my
arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."
9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name.
Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located.
Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as
long as necessary.
8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?"
Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to
figure out where she could know you from.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan,
reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would
you be my friend?"
6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and
you could sure use some money.
5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could
bring you a case of beer and some chips
4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When
they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit
card number to a complete stranger.
3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will
give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the
telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I
guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!" Say good by - and Hang up.
2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on
Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your mom?"
And first and foremost:
1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.
tensionnot(dot)com
I got another one to add.
11. Pretend like you don't understand English very well. Mispronounce words, spout a bunch
of gibberish at them. It'll really fluster them.
LOVE THESE.
My husband is a contractor and gets calls all the time from payroll services, finance companies, yellow pages (BIG RIPOFF) etc. The payroll companies always get flustered when he explains that he doesn't have any employees.
Bucky,
That is sooo funny!! I just got off the phone with one. Wish I had read it earlier.
Thanks for always sharing!
Jennifer
Hey guys, I made a cartoon today about dismissive doctors who decorate their offices in gaudy colors and keep their back turned to you during appointments. lol It's the story of my life. Hope you like it.
http://i.imgur.com/JaFCsYb.png (http://i.imgur.com/JaFCsYb.png)
Like it? I love it!!!! It is so true. Great cartoon for the day.
Jennifer
Thanks Jennifer. Hugs :)
Quote from: stephL on May 24, 2014, 01:26:31 PM
Hey guys, I made a cartoon today about dismissive doctors who decorate their offices in gaudy colors and keep their back turned to you during appointments. lol It's the story of my life. Hope you like it.
http://i.imgur.com/JaFCsYb.png (http://i.imgur.com/JaFCsYb.png)
I couldn't see it. The site is blocked at my work for Adult Content ??? LOL, what on earth did you post? ;D
I could add a #12: "Oooh you said this call may be monitored for quality and recorded? This is the NSA isn't it? Admit it...you are saying you're selling something but you really are just monitoring my transmissions....I know you are....you are sneaky devils working for the government that wants to infiltrate my brain cells and dig for personal information...."
Quote from: meow on May 29, 2014, 11:23:12 AM
Quote from: stephL on May 24, 2014, 01:26:31 PM
Hey guys, I made a cartoon today about dismissive doctors who decorate their offices in gaudy colors and keep their back turned to you during appointments. lol It's the story of my life. Hope you like it.
http://i.imgur.com/JaFCsYb.png (http://i.imgur.com/JaFCsYb.png)
I couldn't see it. The site is blocked at my work for Adult Content ??? LOL, what on earth did you post? ;D
It's a pic of a woman perched awkwardly on the edge of the examining table and a doc at the keyboard with his back to her. The caption reads: "Dry eyes and thinning hair? Have you thought about getting a dog? Here's a referral to for a Psych Eval down at the clinic." :D
Edit: The image hosting site I used (imgur.com) isn't particularly known for adult content. I wouldn't have used anything dodgy like that. Anyway, it's only a link to the cartoon itself and doesn't link to anything else.
As seen on Facebook:
" "Nothing is Impossible."
I disagree . . . . .
I've accomplished nothing plenty of times, it's totally possible." :D
Jamie Capria
This is a true story that my SIL posted on FB:
"my husband was craving a snack. He has run out "his" stuff and was scrounging the pantry. This is what he ate. . . MY chocolate and, unknowingly, Trailer's peanut butter cookies!"
I laughed so hard - her husband (my brother), is a very picky eater (as am I). You know how we women can be protective of our chocolate, but the really funny part is, Trailer is their dog!! My brother ate the dogs peanut butter treats!! LOL
I don't know if my SIL told him that was for the dog or not - I'm hoping she didn't. LOL
Bucky
We have been doing some major cleaning.
Worked on the upstairs hallway and landing carpeting for a full day (with rest breaks.. Resolve and machine work great to get out the ground in grim.. )
So.. Announcement.. "NO SHOES UPSTAIRS!"
This morning as I was about to get ready/dressed for errands, granddaughter 6, sees DH in office with shoes on?!!..."No shoes upstairs".
I get dressed and when I come down the stairs...
I see ALL of dear granddaughters shoes at the bottom of the stairs..
Yep.. "No Shoes Upstairs".. :)