Hi - With the upcoming Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's celebrations in the not too far off future, I wanted to give you a little insiders perspective of dining out.
I, by no means, am not an expert in this subject - however, I DO work in the restaurant industry.
These tips not only apply to holiday celebrations, but any time you might be dining out at a restaurant vs. a fast food place.
* If you have more than 4 people in your party - please make a reservation. In my restaurant, we mostly have round tables. Many times we do not have two empty tables close together to push together. You cannot fit 10 people around a table designed for 6.
* We do have a few "high tops" (tables that sit higher than others with higher chairs) - again, they are designed for 8 people, not 12. If we know in advance that you are coming, we can "reserve" tables and make arrangements to accommodate your size group.
* If you see the parking lot is full (ours holds 275+) and you are driving around to find a spot to park, that means we are very busy and it will take your order a little longer to get to your table. Please be patient. Again, remember, we are NOT a fast food place. It takes at least 20 minutes for your chicken to cook, 30 minutes for your steak. When you have a large party it takes a bit for ALL the dinners to be ready to come to your table at the same time.
* If you leave a message on the answering machine for reservations, please let us know that Grandma has difficulty walking and we will seat you closer to the front of the restaurant. If we "reserve" a table for you and are busy when you come in, it might be very difficult to squeeze you in another spot. If we know your needs in advance, we can allow and plan for it.
* (Not to offend anyone with this tip, just stating the facts.) Please do not let your young children run all around the restaurant - jumping on furniture, running, yelling, picking up things, etc. It's not our job to watch your children. It's never too young to teach children about using "indoor" voices and manners when dining out. Packing a little "dining out" bag to bring with you with quiet activities to keep the children occupied while waiting for your meal would be a good idea. (I work in an upscale Country Club and we don't have coloring pages or crayons.)
Case in point - last year we had a family of 10 come in. There were five young (under 6) children. They were so loud and running around that no other guests wanted to sit in the same area as this family. Unfortunately, this (the spot this family was sitting in) is one of our most popular places to dine in, in our restaurant. Six of our tables in this section sat empty while this family dined for 1-1/2 hrs. Sorry to say, we were glad when they left!
Topic continued in Part 2 ........................
Continuing on with this post . . . .
* Please be mindful of the hours of operation of the restaurant you are dining at. If they close at 9 p.m. and you are still lingering around at 11:30 p.m. (and you got there at 7:00 p.m.) - it's time to leave. Not only are you keeping staff around until you leave - they also have cleaning up to do once you leave. It's one thing if you are eating or drinking, but if you're just sitting there talking - go to someones house.
* If you go to a buffet - make reservations if you have a group of 5 or more. Again, it's hard to combine tables when there are none available. Upstairs in our banquet hall we have round tables that seat 8. When you have a party of 11 and all want to sit together at one table - it's not going to happen. It is what it is - you're going to have to split up between two tables.
* When you are seated by the Hostess, please don't switch tables without checking with us first. The seat you move to may already be "reserved" on our books. Plus, when you switch seats you might also be switching servers.
* Servers have "sections" that they cover. If you have a friend/relative that works at the restaurant and want to be seated in their section, please let us know BEFORE we seat you. We'll be happy to accommodate you, if we can.
* Please remember Servers are paid less than minimum wage and rely on the "tips" they make serving you. (I'm not a Server - just speaking on their behalf.) If you have a problem with your service or meal, please let us know and we will try to rectify the situation. If you don't tell us, we don't know.
* If you need something at your table and you can't find your Server, by all means, ask any of the staff or other Servers walking past for assistance. Don't just get up and leave in a huff because you haven't said anything to anyone.
* If part of your meal is cold when it gets to your table (that should be hot), please let us know and don't just eat it and complain about it all the way out the front door to the other people in your group. If we are unaware of the problem, we can't fix it.
Okay - these are just some tips I've learned while working in the restaurant business. The objective is for our guests to be comfortable, fed in a reasonable amount of time, enjoy their dining experience and leave happy. :D
If we work together - guests vs. staff - it makes it an enjoyable experience for everyone. ;D
Happy dining out! Don't forget . . . make your Thanksgiving reservations NOW (it might already be too late).
Bucky
Small children and upscale restaurants don't mix, or at least I don't think so anyway. Now, I know I will catch a lot of flak for this, but I don't care. I am in my mid twenties now and 2/3 of my high school and junior college friends have kids. I have got to where I just won't go out to dinner with them anymore because I despise the snot slinging, whining, screaming, tantrums, nagging, and chasing that goes along with them.
I really wish that restaurant management would encourage parties with uncontrollable children to leave, or at least take the kid outside until he/she cools off. Now don't get me wrong. I have no problem with children. In fact, I sometimes watch my friends' kids, pick them up for school, go with them to ball games, etc. I might even have some of my own in the future. HOWEVER, I just don't think that upscale dining facilities are for children.
Case in point, if I am at McDonalds and there is a kid crying, it's not a big deal. The huge hamster tubes stuck to the side tell you the place is meant for children before you even park the car. Conversely, a steak house that costs ~$50-$150 a person, contains a prominent bar in the waiting area, and lacks a child appropriate menu, should tell you they don't really want your little angels there.
I post this not to complain, but to see what everyone else thinks, especially those who may work in restaurants. 100% of my friends with children disagree with me on this, so I know I am in the minority.
The point they make is, children are the most important thing in their life and they aren't going to abandon them so they can eat without being bothered. The point I make is, if you want to take them with you, let's go somewhere appropriate for them so they will be happy and we can talk, or leave them with grandma for a couple hours so they won't be miserable.
That being said, appropriate is decided on a child by child basis. Some seem content to sit in a booth and color at a casual dining type place. And of course, a few would skewer Chuck E. Cheese with a plastic butter knife if you gave them a chance :o
I agree with this, Anthony. I can do so because I don't have any grandchildren! Parents often will not pay any attention to what their kids are doing. One time we were at Applebys having dinner. A dad and 2 year old sat directly behind my husband. The kid had a balloon in his hand and kept hitting my husband in the head with it. The kid was obviously standing up on the bench of the booth and looking our way and decided to play drums on hubby's head. The parents DID NOT ONCE look up and see what the child was doing. This went on for a couple of minutes. Finally, my husband turned around and said "will you watch your kid, he keeps hitting me on the head."
The man was not pleased with my husband's less than pleasant announcement. He said "perhaps you should go to a fine dining establishment, there is one down the street. (country club) Well, gee, we thought we were in a fine dining establishment. The other adults in the restaurant did too, especially the ones at the bar. Many times when we are out and I see a family with well behaved children, I will praise them for their good manners if I'm walking by. Some kids are well mannered. It's really the parents who are mis-behaving because they are not watching what their kids are doing. Makes you wonder who watches the kids when they play in the front yard near the street. Lucy
I agree, too, and I DO have grandchildren! I love them dearly of course, but I do not want to sit with them, in an "upscale" dining area that doesn't have any menu options for them, or booster seats, or even enough light that they don't imagine monsters in the shadows. Not that I don't enjoy dining out! I do, very much, and if I choose an upper end establishment, it's when I'm not with the little angels, and I thouroughly enjoy the grownup time.
It's my personal failing probably, but I also don't enjoy watching young children acting sophisticated and grown up, and (as in a recent case) gallantly and obviously not willingly eating raw oysters (like the other grownups) then being humiliated when the oysters make their return (if you get my drift) and the so called parent blames the establishment for serving bad oysters!
There are so many places that welcome children, and they love going there, why punish everyone by putting them in such a foreign surrounding?
As to the child playing drums on your husband's head, Lucy, I'm with you on who is the mis- behaver.....I feel badly for the families of parents who don't do their children the kindness of teaching them to behave in public.
I have to take the kid's side on this one. Last time I checked I was a grownup, but I might do the same thing if I have to eat oysters. I have tried them three different times while traveling on the east coast and my reaction isn't much better than theirs.
Now I'm getting sidetracked but I unfortunately had a flashback of when my friends took me to this restaurant that served dark beer and oysters on a bed of sour kraut, sausage, onions, and asparagus...the place honestly sold mouthwash at the register in case you didn't really want to ward off members of the opposite sex for the rest of the day.
Bucky, thank you for explaining the other side of the "table" when we go to a restaurant on those special holidays with the whole family in tow for dinner. Good tips to consider.
The following is not precisely on topic, but since there was some talk about kids running around at public places.....
Recently, I took my bulldog to a Orthopedic Vet surgeon and a there was a large sign that was posted just inside the reception area in a manner to be clearly visible to clients.
The sign said, " Any unattended children will be given a strong cup of coffee and a free kitten".
Made me laugh.
As a parent, and a grandmother, I am in total agreement with Anthony! Go someplace appropriate for your 'group' or stay home. I was at a wonderful restaurant not long ago, was seated near a table with 3 children. 2 were wonderful, one was a NIGHTMARE. The manager came out and said something. The tab for the two of us was 219.00 - It was quite the splurge... no alcohol in that either. I love that manager who got the parents to do their JOB!
Sadly, I agree with both sides - parents don't realize that "parent" is a VERB....
This applies not just to restaurants, but shops, museums, parks, etc.
Our daughter has traveled all over the world and eaten in plenty of fine dining restaurants since she was 6 months old. As a result, by the time she was 4 years old she understood how to behave with respect and courtesy toward other people, and that certain kinds of behaviors were "outside" behaviors, and others were "inside" behaviors (though consideration and respect are required EVERYWHERE). Until she was capable of controlling her own behavior, we did that for her.
The problem is NOT THE CHILDREN - IT'S THE PARENTS.
Our kid was a kid like every other one - she'd get fussy, get bored, etc. The difference is that we didn't EXPECT her to act like an adult, and so we always had a bag of stuff to keep her quiet and occupied. We carried small utensils she could use, and a damp cloth in a ziplock bag to clean up any mess. We attended her closely - and until she could do so neatly herself, we fed her when we were in public (at home she could make a glorious mess with her food like any other kid). We did not try to go to a nice place when she was tired or already starving and fussy. If she became restless despite our best efforts, one of us would get up from the table and take her for a walk around the lobby or outside until she was able to sit quietly again.
We did not expect she would learn good behavior by some magic feat - we TAUGHT it to her, with a reasonable understanding of what she was capable of at each age - it's ridiculous to expect a 6-year-old to sit quietly with adults for 3 hours over dinner - it only leads to disaster and frustration. And we SURE didn't expect staff or other patrons to take care of her for us!!! In fact - recognizing the extra effort families often require, we were always careful to leave a generous tip.
I cannot tell you the number of times we walked into a nice place when she was very young and encountered obvious eyerolls and groans and even "warnings" from staff and patrons - even other customers asking to be moved. It was annoying, but I also understand that people are used to bad situations. We'd just sit down, order our food, and DO OUR FREAKIN' JOBS AS PARENTS, and several times had our bills payed by somebody ELSE because they so appreciated how pleasant things turned out to be.
My husband and I both spent many years working in food service - from busboy all the way up through manager, and we know how things go. It's a heck of a hard way to make a living. So - we have worked very hard to make sure our kid is a pleasure, not a burden.
She's almost 15 now, and is often embarrassed to go out with her friends because they never learned decent behavior - many of them because their parents never brought them anywhere!!! YES, it's WORK to take a kid out for dinner - but how the heck else are they supposed to learn?
I'd encourage anybody encountering a polite family working to make dining (or shopping, or whatever) a pleasant experience to please THANK THEM and acknowledge their hard work. It really feels good.
And if you encounter the other kind - SPEAK UP....to the parents OR the kid (SOMEbody needs to...). I think it's fair to speak directly to the kid if the kid is interacting with you....I have a really cool client right now who's in her 70's and a pistol...a few months ago she was at brunch at a family restaurant and some little terror came over and took food off her PLATE (!) - the kid came back a few minutes later and reached up there again - she grabbed his and and said "If you stick that hand in my food again you're going to lose it..." - HAHAHAHA!!! She was totally within her rights. And the kid went away!
Anyway - the parents are at fault, but we'll all benefit of the kids aren't allowed to carry on like animals - and sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
As a parent, I apologize for all the bad behavior of other parents. Kids are great....it's not really their fault.
And TIP WELL - if you can't stand an hour in a room with the public and their screaming hordes, just imagine what it's like pulling 14-hour shifts with them and having to clean up after them, all on sub-minimum-wage pay.
(http://farm4.staticflickr.com/3001/2914618866_d19eabd933.jpg) (http://www.flickr.com/photos/aloveletteraway/2914618866/)
Sleepy, this sign is identical to one in a beer bar/pool hall that is directly across the street from my college. A lot of parents take their kids in there for lunch as their burgers are awesome and sized right for kids. Also, the kids enjoy playing pool, and the owner doesn't mind as long as they are gentle with the equipment, in fact he will play with them and give them pointers if its slow.
However, I have witnessed the old man grab a spatula and chase out of the building an obnoxious parent screaming at her crying child. You can do that in small town America if you are 65 years old and running a family business that has been around since 1890. Being primarily a bar and pool hall at night, it can get rowdy in there.
I have also seen him go over to parents with small kids and say something along the lines of,"hey you are certainly welcome here, but I noticed you have some young-uns and there is a billiards tournament starting so you might want to get them out of here before people start getting their buzz on get a little coarse." If they agree to leave, he doesn't charge them for the meal.
Oh I agree. My first real job was in fast food. I'd like to add.
Don't give your babies and tiny ones crackers to munch on. Have you ever tried to get wet crackers out of carpeting. You have to wait until it dries in about 1/2 hr or so and it looks like heck to the other patrons.
Love the sign where misbehaving children are sold as slaves. At least it wakes the parents up to do some actual parenting and control their kids.
It REALLY makes you wonder how messy some people's homes are when you see the mess they leave at restaurants! ::) >:(