Well, the view out my bedroom window is finally turning to a dusky gray. Dawn approaches and I made it thru the night. Please forgive me for being melodramatic. I just didn't get much sleep and it tends to bring out the hack writer in me. I promise to stop writing before doggerel starts oozing too thickly into my post.
For several days I could feel a flare nipping at my heels but I hoped that if I ignored it, it would just wander away to bother someone else. No one here, of course! I like all of you! Some nasty person. Or a criminal. Yes, I would sic my flare on a nasty criminal who deserves the suffering! But, alas...the flare didn't care (sorry, unintentional rhyme there) and struck in the middle of the night with coughing, choking on a throat gone bone dry, mouth burning, nose stuffed. Such a rude awakening gnaws at my nerves and prays on my fears until it is impossible to face the darkness of sleep.
Thus, here I sit, propped up on a mountain of, let's see, one, two, three, four, five pillows to await the sun. I am surrounded by my SjS arsenal of bottled water, Biotene and Halls Refresh drops. Pffft. They look like such puny weapons on my nightstand.
Every time a flare strikes I fear that it will never go away. Maybe THIS will be the time that it doesn't stop. Maybe THIS time is won't fade back to the chronic level that has become my new "norm". So far, every bad flare has only lasted a few days before gradually loosening its grip on my throat. But maybe THIS time, the inflammation will overcome me and --
No, that train of thought needs nipped in the bud. The sky continues to brighten and my tiny weapons have seen me through the night. With the dawn, I feel that I can now close my eyes and nap a bit before facing the day. Maybe it will be a good day. Maybe tonight will be easier. Maybe the flare will quickly go away. Maybe.
Thanks for letting me vent poetic. I promise to mop up all the whine after I wake up.
Dee
Hi Dee :)
You wax poetic any time you want to!
I saw the dawn this morning too and I really wasn't expecting to.
I got woken up by a mixture of hubby's cell phone getting a text message and I couldn't find his phone, him snoring and sore legs. I did try to get back to sleep but it was a lost battle. I think I got about three and a half hours sleep last night so am feeling exceedingly 'lazy' today.
I hope you have a short flare. I hope it is not one that stays. They have passed off before - so hopefully this one will too.
Take care - Scottie :)
I liked your poetic rant, because I love poetry. lol.....Yes, feel free to say what you need to.
susanep :)
gosh, my night stand of 'weapons' sounds just like yours !
bless 'yer heart....we're right there with you..
Hi Dee, from a gal that used to write poetry (just need to get back to it) I appreciate your words.
And I understand just being so MISERABLE and I also understand the worry.
This past week, I tried some music therapy. Between ER visits for my back, then the chest pains then the every day stuff, I could see my mind being trapped by the what ifs and those dark sad thoughts. I shut the tv off, and I put on some nice calming music and I did what my mom called "puttering." When I don't feel really well enough for a good cleaning and I LOVE a clean home ...I putter around, wiping this or that, taking my time and after I pull a shade, let the sun in for a bit and enjoy how pretty things look. I used to buy myself a vase of flowers (I am overdue) and that helped.. Then there are those times and I have them more and more lately where it feels like even that is too much effort! We need one another. I can see that in the short time I have been here on this site. We need to know that we matter as much as anyone else and that others care. And I do think sharing our stories and hope and support gets us feeling better. I hope you feel better soon Dee......sorry about your bad night.
Dee!
I will let you write my biography anytime... you are living my life too! I hope you get some rest, keep your weapons close at hand and know your not alone! I use only 4 pillows but ordered one that arrived yesterday to add to the stack... Just need the energy to open the box. Gentle hugs for a good day and a sleep filled night! This flare to wil pass.
Gayle
Vent away dear Dee!
That's what this board is all about and you definitely have a style of writing that makes people want to read your words....it's a talent!
I'm sorry that you had such a bad night and hope your day and tonight are better! :)
I enjoyed the vent and the poem. You can wax anything you want to on this site. lol HOpefully, this scourge of symptoms will leave as quickly as they came.
It is too darn hot to have to deal with these symptoms. Please know that I am thinking of you. I was glad that you took time to post even if you thought your mood was a little dicey. I miss seeing your posts. Hope all is well with you otherwise. irish
So sorry you had a bad night! Why does it seem everything is always worse at night?
Hoping your night last night was better and you are feeling better today.
Keeping you in thought and prayer!
Cricket
I'll bring the cheese! How about some delicious smoked gouda....
Feel better soon!
Hugs, Sharon
Feel better soon!
I hear you!!! everytime I get woke in the middle of the night, with a strange headache, and then the joint pain starts, I know a flare is coming and what Im about to deal with. Im also having some depression with it, which i never had before. Then, its a chronic nightmare for the next week. Hang in there...
Gursie
Sorry for the bad night~ but that was the most awesome venting I have read in awhile. Vent away ~anytime ~ as we all feel that way sometimes. Hmmm.....Now I will worry that my venting will not sound as poetic as yours. ;) Sweet dreams tonight~
I have absolutely no poetic talent, or artistic talent! I can write a goofey story, but rhyme, I cannot. I appreciate when others take the time to wax poetic on the board. It also helps those of us who cannot vent via the rhyme a little fresh air.
I'm sorry some people are having such stressful and painful times and hope everything gets better with time. Lucy
i love your way with words