hello SJS folks.
As I have posted before, I work part-time...mon thru weds.
There is some infighting amongst the younger set (2 of which are fairly new).....and I was at home when it began. I was not aware of it until this past wednesday when I was drawn into it.
I resisted it....but one person in particular will not let it alone...the person has facebooked me and has left THREE messages on my home phone.
I am not involved with "the problem" but coworkers are wanting to get me involved.
Needless to say this is upsetting to me. My husband is upset for me..because I have spent the weekend dreading going to work tomorrow. I am going to have to tell the dr about the facebooking and phone messaging..which of course I did not respond to.
I am not involved with this pettiness but now am being forced to go into work tomorrow and have to put my foot down on this and I want left alone and do not want to work in an atmosphere thats hostile to one another.
I have my dr. respect and loyalty for 5 years but feel I am cheapening myself by what I am going to say tomorrow. I want to be above the fray.
My husband said to me that I have 2 chronic illnesses and you can't afford this office drama.
wish me luck..I know I am not going to sleep tonight.
eye2dry
Hi
I think you need to make it clear to your colleagues that you do not want to be drawn into any dispute and you have no intention of taking sides.
I think it is possible to do this.
I remember, many years ago - not a work situation admittedly - when I moved to a rural area to find that the local population was split about whether to build a harbour or not. The two sides really were daggers drawn and vitriolic towards each other. Both sides tried to 'recruit' me.
My attitude was that I had not lived there when the dispute had arisen and i had no intention of getting involved. I stayed out of it and befriended people on both sides.
I would actually ask the person who has been pestering you on Facebook, simply not to do it. Say you'll talk to her happily about anything other than work but that you don't want to take your work home with you - and its not your dispute.
nothing worse than dreading work. I did till I dropped my hours. Good luck!
Take care - Scottie :)
Gosh I can't believe you got Facebooked over this!!! I doubt you are that close to either of your coworkers.. My personal life and business are seperate. Put a block on your account. I only have certain people that can read or Facebook me. Facebook and phone calls can be construed as forms of Harrassment!!!!!!
I have monthy one-on-ones with my boss. It lets her know how things are doing, etc. Most of all it lets her know all the problems I solve and people I help. My 1on1s really helped on my yearly reviews too!! Talk to your boss about this discord. Companies are all about teamwork and working together for the benefit of the team. If there is discord, it is bad and affects the team. I finally had enough and told my boss about a coworker (long long story here) and Suprise she was driving others in the dept nuts too. AND boss had info from several sources too. So us together made a difference! I told her it just piled up and I didn't want to confront the coworker and upset the "team" which she said was quite right and was very very grateful I didn't do that. Make it out the it affects the TEAM, You may not be the only one getting all the "grief" from the coworker(s).
AS to my problem coworker, I would listen a short time politely - let it go in one ear and out the other, and tell her I was just sooo busy I HAD to get back to work "you know nose to the grindstone" and she'd leave me alone. Worked even better if I told her I wasn't feeling well and was just trying to stay away from everyone so they wouldn't catch something. LOL
I've had my share in the past of problem or toxic coworkers and bosses. ::)
Dear eye3dry
We don't get to choose when trouble comes knocking.
You will feel better once you make your position clear and take a stand.
Doing hard stuff like this is part of life, and no matter how we wish it wouldn't happen, it follows us everywhere.
My son who is a shrink recently posted this on HIS Facebook page:
"Working with obstacles is life's journey. The warrior is always coming up against dragons. Of course the warrior gets scared, particularly before the battle. It's frightening. But with a shaky, tender heart the warrior realizes that he or she is just about to step into the unknown, and then goes forth to meet the dragon. The warrior realizes that the dragon is nothing but unfinished business presenting itself, and that it's fear that really needs to be worked with." - The Wisdom of No Escape.
Doing this work will make you stronger, and you healthier.
Keep us posted.
Hugs
Elaine
I had some issues at work with a woman who kept trying to make everyone think I was having an affair with my immediate supervisor. She was jealous that he was prepping me for taking his position when he left and was determined to slander my name and shake the faith everyone had in me. I wouldn't stand for it and grabbed the big boss first thing the next morning, told him I didn't want any of this going on, and wanted to nip it in the bud immediately. I got his permission to call a meeting with all parties involved and confronted the woman in front of the big boss and my supervisor. I laid it all on the table and she stuttered and said it was just a joke. But prior to this, she wouldn't let up and was trying to get everyone on board with her vicious rumor. I could have lost my marriage and my home over this. I said so in front of her, my boss, and my big boss. It stopped that day. Any time she started her crap again, we were quick to nip it. I no longer work there, but she is on her last straw there. They are tired of her trouble making ways. But I had to call attention to it first. Maybe you could talk to your boss and call a meeting first thing in the morning to hash it all out? Maybe a few of these and they'll either make the troublemakers stop or find suitable replacements. It's sad how they will let bullies do this in an adult workplace and just let it go until someone puts their foot down.
I hope you can sleep, I know how worse I am without my sleep!
Good luck on Monday, I don't have great advice. I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you & praying the situation improves!
I hope you can sleep, it will make you feel better. I have had something like this happen at work recently myself. I let the coworkers bicker it out and then when the asked for my input/tried to pull me into it, I told them what I thought and put my foot down and that was the end of it. I think that it helps that I am pregnant because people just chalk up my no-nonsense style to me being a B----, but really I love my coworkers but I dont need the added stress either. Once I made it clear that was how I felt about the situation it didnt involve me anymore and that is how I like it.
But I would talk to the boss about the Facebooking and calls at home that is really uncalled for.
keep us posted-hootyhu
I guess what I would do is block your account and maybe just not say much about the texting at this point. After all you can just ignore it.
What I would point out is that "I wasn't here when all this started and I am not going to be involved in the middle and end of it. That is up to those of you who are involved."Maybe sounds like a cop out, but I found that using a soft voice, kindness and a non threatening demeanor saves a lot of hardship. "I don't know" is also a very good phrase, cause you weren't there and you don't know!! Good luck. Irish
You might want to subscribe to the "crucial conversations" blog. And post your problem; they have great, great suggestions for dealing with such delightful situations.
Ugh. What a really ugly situations. If you can stay above the fray, it will be very helpful for your stress levels.
Sharon
Ungh! This kind of stuff makes my stomach turn. Obviously, these people don't have enough to do.
I don't have any advice for you except to tell your co-workers something like, "You girls know that I've got these two chronic illnesses, and stress only makes them worse. I don't mind if you all want to fight about something, but I really don't have the energy or the inclination."
Your so-called "friend" who's trying to draw you in is no friend, my friend! ::) I would tell her to stop sending negative messages and, if she doesn't stop, de-friend her on Facebook. Do NOT let her engage you. You have control of your life.
If your doctor (is that who you work for?) has a pair, he'll put an end to the bitch fest pronto. Or his office manager will. Whatever happens, the only side you should be on is YOURS.
Good luck!
UPDATE>
As you know I dreaded last weekend going to work monday d/t office infighting. Unknown to me..apparently the crap hit the fan on friday (my scheduled day off).
It escalated and the office manager and dr. had a emergency meeting for 45 min and "the fur flew".....tears and recriminations...shouting. The dr. got control of the meeting after complaints were launched...employee handbook was dragged out...page dealing with these type of "office situations" was reviewed especially the consequences part...dr. dictated what was going to be what......no more to be said.....FINISHED......."the instigator" said she couldn't take the stress and just left.
All of above was told to me today by office manager.
Today "the main instigator" did not come to work . She called in ill. I still have to face her tomorrow.
So.....I guess it's over.
thanks for everyones input...I didn't get a chance to use anyones suggestion.
eye2dryy
Things have a way of working out sometimes, hopefully tomorrow will be better!
Quote from: engy on March 12, 2012, 05:42:24 PM
Things have a way of working out sometimes, hopefully tomorrow will be better!
I completely agree!
Sounds like your boss, the doc, put his foot down just as he should! There is no reason, in my book, for this kind of nonsense in a workplace, and still the crap happens so often.
Please try not to worry about "the instigator." It seems she will taken care of accordingly, because I'm sure you're not the only one she's stressing out.
Hope you can relax a bit and get some sleep; I think it will all be sorted out. ;)