This is a subject that is hard to discuss without getting into faith, religion and so on, but I am really struggling with something that is really stressing me out. I would welcome a personal message if you have anything that would help me out.
I don't have anyone to talk to. My husband sees me cry but he doesn't know what to say in the way of comfort.
How do you justify a wrong?
How do you get past a bad thing happening? How do you put the bad thing aside and keep on living?
Please try to reach out to a therapist or councilor for this issue what ever it may be.
How do you justify a wrong?
Bad things happen to good people. Often we have no control over these events. The hurts can linger for years.
How do you get past a bad thing happening?
Time will help you heal. Working through the stages of Grief with the exercises in "Feeling Good" by David Burns may also help.
How do you put the bad thing aside and keep on living?
I find that forgiveness helps me. I have to forgive my self and I have to forgive the others involved. To truly forgive I must also forget. One book that has helped me to keep going is "Tough times never last but tough people do".
I hope that what ever the challenge is that you are facing, You will receive the help and healing that you need.
Season, I have tried to forgive and forget. Most of the times it works.
However, if the bad/negative thing keeps popping up with same situation or the same person continously....I just have to cut ties.
not sure in your case what the situation is but your well being..mentally and physically nearly always comes first.
my heart goes out to you and I hope you find your peace your seekinng.
eye2dry
I remember listening to Dr. Laura on the radio many years ago. She had a caller who called in about the relationship she had with her mother. Dr. Laura's advice was that you have to cut "tocic people" out of your life.
Since then I followd her advice. I didn't invite any of my cousins to my wedding. They were abusive when we were children and it continued into adulthood. I have totally cut my sister out of my life. All she does is cause trouble.
Stress to autoimmune people is like kryptonite is to Superman. It causes our illness to be so much worse.
lighthouse 33 you are so right. Toxic people should be shut out of our lives. My husband wanted me to go to my 40th class reunion last year but I kept telling him no. I was not very well liked in school and was teased constantly. Who wants to see people like that again. Not me! He kept telling me that they had grown up and had problems too. But I stucked to what I wanted to do and did not go. I've kind of had to do the same thing with my brothers too. Only see them when we both show up at our parent's house. Which is not very often because they don't seem to want to see our parents very often.
Dearest Season,
I'm sorry to hear that you are in such a bad place right now.
I agree with exorcising the toxic people from your life. I refer to some of these people as energy vampires.
But back to you, Season. I have learned that harbouring negative feelings towards others, only impacts you. Their lives go merrily on, while your soul becomes bruised and battered by these feelings. We need to forgive, in order to help ourselves. That doesn't mean you agree. I just means you let go, for your own sake.
Be gentle to yourself.
Season .not sure what you are going through but feel free to PM me if you need to.. sometimes it is good to talk with someone.i have a lot of issues i cannot speak about with my family. esp about my health.hang in there.
I have a rule for forgiveness: if you wronged me, and you want it, you had jolly well better ask for it. No ask, no get. This does not mean that I stew over every slight, or let what you (not YOU, of course, Season) did to me ruin my life. But if you have a guilty conscience and don't like it, ask me for forgiveness. It has to be a real apology, too, not just "I'm sorry your feelings were hurt when I stabbed you in the back."
Don't bother asking me to forget, either. If you violated my trust, you are going to have to work darned hard to get it back. And this is assuming that I let you back into my life at all.
Life is too short to waste it with poisonous people. And for what it is worth, if the little sh*ts I went to high school with were to have a reunion across the street from me and pay my way, I would be much too busy washing my hair! I don't have any really poisonous family members in my life, but my birth family has never accepted me with my various disabilities and they never will. They love me, but... What the heck; at least I have my spiritual family!
Hugs, Sharon
Thank you everyone for your replys and responses.
We all have hurts and we must get thru them as best as we can. There are things that are hard for me to fully understand but life is full of mysteries.
Joe, I have my copy of the book that you recommend and I refer to it often. Thank you.
I think if we find a quiet place and ask ourselves the questions that trouble us, a good bit of the time the answer will come to us.
So many of you have expressed dealing with unfair treatment from others. Several years ago I met a cousin that I hadn't seen in twenty years and I told him what he had always meant to me as i loved him like a brother. He said something that I will never forget as we got to talking about friendship and how people treat each other. He said, "You can pick anybody out that you have known or been around, and there is no mystery as to whether they are hurtful to you or not. Just look back at every little thing they have said to you, and been there when you needed them. We all know exactly if a person is going to be harmful or hurtful to us." I think of this often and it has guided me a few times.